Witches' Brew

We've Moved!

2010-05-01T00:04:00.000-04:00

A new day...a new Brew! Blogger is too tiny to contain us Witches, so we pooled our pennies and bought our own isht!

Come join the party at our new home WITCHESBREWONLINE.COM.

SEE YOU THERE!

Will You Watch?: Naomi Campbell on Oprah

2010-04-30T19:44:00.001-04:00

Oprah is on a roll these days… first Todd Bridges, then John Edwards’ mistress and now this. Supermodel ~~phone thrower~~ Naomi Campbell will sit down with Oprah on Monday to talk about her life, her love and her diva antics.

Naomi even signs Oprah’s “no phone zone” pledge… and she agrees not to toss her cell phone at people’s heads anymore.

The interview airs Monday, May 3rd.

So, will you watch?

Taste The Brew for a clip.

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;div id="" class="yt-alert yt-alert-error yt-alert-player yt-rounded"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;div class="yt-alert-icon master-sprite"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/div&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;div id="" class="yt-alert-content"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; You need Adobe Flash Player to watch this video. &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://get.adobe.com/flashplayer/"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Download it from Adobe.&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/div&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;div class="clear"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/div&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/div&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Meredith Vieira Says "Oh Sh!t" On Live TV

2010-04-30T10:51:00.000-04:00

Today marks Oprah's "National No Phone Zone Day." It's her campaign to get people to stop using their cell phones when they're behind the wheel. To mark the day, The Today Show did a live simulation of what happens when you're distracted by a cell phone when you're driving. Meredith Vieira was behind the wheel... when this happened...

Oops!

Splitsville: Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry

2010-04-30T10:42:00.000-04:00

Halle Berry is single... again!

Halle and her beau, model Gabriel Aubry have split! Halle reportedly went to a divorce lawyer (hmmm, were they marrried?) three weeks ago to find out about a custody arrangement for their 2 year old dauther Nahla. But, no long term plans have been made yet.

Halle and Gabriel worked out a "very short-term custody arrangement," TMZ reports. Sources say Halle and Gabriel are "working well together" and are handling parental duties without conflict.

Ya know, I'm beginning to wonder if Halle Berry can make it work with anybody!

Source

What’s Brewing?

2010-04-29T20:29:00.000-04:00

Idris Elba covers JET Magazine – Gossip On This

Steve Carell quitting The Office – Starpulse

Bobby Brown is NOT dead – Dime Wars

Usher is NOT engaged (and he hasn’t knocked anybody else up…so he says) – E! Online

Erykah Badu pleads not guilty in disorderly conduct case – Perez Hilton

LL Cool J wants to help you work on your fitness – AllHipHop

Eminem has words for Roethlisberger – ESPN

Hmm…lots of man-news today, with Erykah tossed in for good measure. Happy reading!

Image via JET

Brew Tube: Sandra Bullock’s Baby Speaks!

2010-04-29T20:16:00.000-04:00

This has made my life!

Image via People

Spotted @ AverageBro

Brew Quotes: Sheila Johnson

2010-04-29T13:58:00.001-04:00

“Don’t even get me started. I don’t watch it. I suggest to my kids [a 20-something daughter and a college-age son] that they don’t watch it… I’m ashamed of it, if you want to know the truth.”
-Sheila Johnson's thoughts on BET, the network she co-founded with former husband Bob Johnson.

Johnson was in New York this week for the Tribeca Film Festival to promote The Other City, a documentary she produced about the AIDS epidemic in Washington, DC. Johnson said BET is making things worse by contributing to the spread of AIDS by promoting promiscuity in its videos.

Hmmmmmm...having a "heart" now, after you've built your riches?

Source

Toni Childs Got A Job

2010-04-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

Former Girlfriends star Jill Marie Jones has landed a new gig. On the heels of the TBS "micro-series" My Manny, Jones has landed her own mini-show called Gillian in Georgia. Her character is described as a "hip, single New Yorker who visits her family in a small town in Georgia."

Soul Food star and "Ain't no lie, bye bye bye" dance moves guy Darrin Henson will play Jones' love interest.

The "micro-series" is sponsored exclusively by Chevy Malibu, which will be prominently featured in the show. Interesting.

The show runs Wednesdays during Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns.

So, will you watch?

Image via Clutch Mag
Source

The Video Banned By YouTube

2010-04-29T00:56:00.000-04:00

M.I.A.'s new video for "Born Free" is too hot for YouTube! The video doesn't have any booty-poppin'...instead, it has (gasp) a political message! Well, there is a smidge of nudity but not the kind you really wanna see. Anyway, Tuesday, YouTube yanked the so-called "real and explicit version" of "Born Free" from its site (but you can still find uploads from some crafty M.I.A. fans). YouTube claims the vid violated its rules which "prohibit content like pornography or gratuitous violence."

In the video, soldiers raid a building and arrest a young man, who's been singled out for arrest because of his hair color...basically, it's genocide for redheads.. The man (and his fellow prisoners) are then put in a concentration camp...watch.

Heaven forbid a video should actually have a message or a point of view that isn't simply looking out a Maybach window.

So, offensive? Too graphic? Too controversial?

What's your call?

And BTW, if you lost the actual words of the song while watching the video, here are the lyrics.

Source

Divorce Lawyers Having The Best Year Ever

2010-04-28T20:24:00.001-04:00

First, I thought jumpoffs were having the best year ever. But, perhaps I need to take that back. Because of the jumpoff, divorce lawyers are having the best year. Ya see, the jumpoff opens the door for the divorce. Now, may jumpoffs may assume they are getting the goods because they’re humpin’ a celebrity. But, noooo, that payday is not guaranteed. You might just get a hump in the parking lot and a Subway sandwich. Just ask one of Tiger’s hooors. But, it’s the divorce lawyer that has a surefire payday.

You can add Ginny Barber’s lawyer to the next in line for a nice lil lawyer payday. Ginny is the wife of former NFL star Atiim Kiambu Hakeem-Ah "Tiki" Barber (but you know him as ~~Triflin’~~ Tiki). Word is Tiki was shocked Ginny went on ahead and filed the papers because it was ahead of their plans. Hmmm, I bet she was “floored” to learn about your peen-dipping too, huh, Teekster? Surprise! A source says the couple agreed no papers would be filed "until after their babies were born." Ginny is currently preggers with twins. Perhaps Ginny decided to file after spending time in the hospital while her hubby was out carousing with his young blonde. Eh? Despicable.

Next in line for divorce (perhaps)? Elin Nordegren, who reportedly recently learned her hubby, Tiger, had 121 affairs during their marriage. Nice. *sarcasm*

Source

The list and the double standard

2010-04-28T14:10:00.001-04:00

Our readers know how much the Witches love Dhani Jones and his tangy taco meat! The Travel Channel host recently gave his "boo breakdown" to Shade 45's Angela Yee and a lot of people are talking about it:
smart
quick-witted, yet possesses a calming motherly quality
adventurous
sporty
speaks languages
cooks
tall, slender (but she can be a little bit thicker)
great background
exotic
maybe light brown/olive complexion/mixed background
well-traveled
huge heart
creative soul
strong
independent
stands firm behind her man (but not in front, perhaps beside)
long hair; no weave
incredible hands
insatiable eyes
wants a huge family
can talk to a homeless person or a wealthy person
she can play in the mud in the morning and go to a black tie event at night
she’s ok on her own but she loves her man; and independently wealthy helps

Um, okay...it's long and truthfully gave my friends pause, but we women have our own mental checklists that can be just as complex and tedious. So why then when a guy is honest about his requirements, we get a bit offended? Why the double standard?

BTW Dhani...my hands are a little rough, but I'm fluent in Hoodrat and Pig Latin, my eyes are insatiable when I'm hungry and I am tall when I stand next to a "little person". Can you work with that?

Brew's Gotta Have Gadgets Gone Green

2010-04-28T13:55:00.000-04:00

There's not much that I like more than ~~Internet purn~~ ~~an entire bottle of twist cap wine~~ ~~laying up with mah boo~~ ~~chocolate dipped in chocolate with a side of chocolate chased with chocolate~~ ~~laying up with mah other boo~~ anything sustainable and ANYTHING CUSTOM. Bespoke items say 'Hey, Bama, I'm way more stylish and creative and just THAT more awesome, than your off the rack, buying 'as is' bargain basement bum arse!'* And I love that.

These bamboo iPhone covers are an awesomely earthy counterpart to your hightech baby.
And the best part - you, can design your own. They also have some pre etched, for the more stick figure gifted among us. LOVE. @ GROVE MADE

*(The only thing Kanye and I agree on...well that and my Ambah Rose...*swoon*)

Brews Gotta Have Gadgets

2010-04-28T11:05:00.004-04:00

I am always looking for ways to pimp my iPod. Luckily the people over iHome want my money as much as I love throwing it away.

Check these out:

The Capsule speaker- Compact speaker extends for surprisingly big sound for your iPod, iPhone, laptop or any MP3 player through the headphone jack. Features a long lasting built-in lithium ion rechargeable battery- measures at less than 3 inches! (Much like this unfortunate dude I used to date...)

Speaker jacket: iHM12 portable speaker case from iHome. Lightweight, water resistant speaker features flat panel NXT speaker technology and keeps your iPod/MP3 player safe with its splash proof case. Interior mesh pocket holds your player and connects through the headphone jack.

Both available at my fave site: Flight 001

At this rate I will be serving ALL you fools this summer!

I Met a Real Life Porn-lebrity!

2010-04-28T09:24:00.000-04:00

So this witch went to Miami for some funnin in the sun over the weekend and because it's Miami of course you will upon several celebrities, some of my crew saw Eva Pigford (I have no idea what this Marcielle mess is cause her last name used to be Pigford and that's what I'm sticking to!), Warren Sapp (who smiled at me in the airport, even though no one else saw him but me, but fa real he couldn't take his eyes off me he was staring so hard...... seriously, fa real..... he wanted me bad). Then we met some kinda soca/trini rock star in Wet Willie's but none of us know who he is so he doesn't count but he was waaaaay cute!

But the bestest person that I happened upon was the Negro porn lady, Skyy Black. We were just sitting outside people watching and I happened to glance to my right and I saw her sitting there. Now I'm pretty passionate about my porn so I instantly recognozed her but I had to confirm with my equally classy but nassy lil sis that it was in fact her and she confirmed that it was. So I coyly asked "scuse me, what's your name?" and she responded ever so gingerly "Skkkyyyyy", hot damn! So I then said "oh wow, I thought that was you, we love your work!". She thanked us and said it made her feel really good to get compliments, especially from women. She's gotten a little chunky in her donkey but she still pretty much looks the way she looks in her feature films.

I was tempted to go over and shoot the chit with her but I have a tendency to get myself in some nutball situations so I felt it best that I just stay seated where I was. Next time I hope it's Mr. Marcus, whooooo weeeeee!

Day 26 Member Comes Out The Closet?

2010-04-27T22:10:00.000-04:00

Day 26 member Robert decided to announce that he's gay on Twitter... then, I reckon he changed his mind, cuz he deleted that mofo along with his whole dang page. But, the folks over at BeStylistik caught it, as did the 50-11 million other people on Twitter who retweeted the announcement.

I'm sure someone over at Bad Boy or wherever these dudes sing now, will say this was a Twitter hacking or something. Anyway, are you surprised at this news?

I wonder if "Junebug" did it...

Malcolm X's Assassin Is A Free Man

2010-04-27T19:19:00.000-04:00

Thomas Hagan, the man who admitted his role in Malcolm X's assassination, was paroled today after serving 44 years in prison.

Hagan is the only person to admit to killing the activist in 1965 in New York's Audubon Ballroom.

Hagan says he has "deep regrets" about his participation in Malcolm's killing.

Hagan had been serving time in a minimum-security facility where he took part in a work-release program. He's held a job at a fast food restaurant for 7 years. Under the terms of his parole, he must stay employed, adhere to a curfew and support his children.

Hagan is 69 years old. Had he lived, Malcolm X would have turned 85 on May 19th.

Hagan image via AP
Source

Social Commentary: Stanky Steeze

2010-04-27T14:11:00.000-04:00

Let me get this straight; we have a clean and articulate (©Joe Biden) African-American residing in THE most famous address in America and I have still have to look at this sweaty Brewshyt? Rappers Maino and Wacka Flocka Flame (or What That Fugga Flame as I like to call him), recently showed up at some random party looking like...well looking like this! Granted we Witches appreciate a person who walks to the beat of his own drum (i.e., Will.I.Am), rocks his own style (i.e., Kanye) but um..I cannot co-sign on looking like you stink! C'mon Son! Why the dry lips and rogue deordorant balls on your side Wacka? Maino, how old are you? And, and, why the Sears Portrait studio kiddie tat? Doesn't a picture in your wallet suffice? WHAT.IS.THE.MEANING.OF THIS? You have made it clear from the neck tats that you have no plans to work outside the music industry, but can we just come up a little bit? Please? I know, I know, to these little young girls, this is sexy, but I just want to wipe you down, shave, then Febreze your asses! Brewchie Out...

Jackson Kids Looking For JerHome

2010-04-27T13:28:00.000-04:00

To quote Morgan Freeman as Joe Clark: Katherine Jackson has thrown those bastards out!

TMZ reports Mama Jackson told Jermaine's ex-wife Alejandra to take her 2 kids (with Randy) and her other 2 kids (with Jermaine... yes, mmm hmmm), pack her isht and GO! Watching over 7 kids (remember, she has Michael's kids too) is just too much for Miss Katherine to handle.

The Jermaine/Randy spawn won't be homeless though. Miss Jackson has a heart. She's moving them to a San Fernando Valley condo owned by the estate.

Word is Jaafar's "let's hit Blanket with the stun gun" incident was the last straw.

Ya think?

Source

Betty White's SNL Promo

2010-04-27T13:16:00.001-04:00

Here's the promo for the very long overdue Saturday Night Live hosting gig for Betty White. She'll take the reigns on May 8th, with Jay-Z as the musical guest. If they do a sketch together, please call 911 for me cuz I'll be dead.

Also on the special May 8th "Mother's Day" show: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer and Rachel Dratch.

BTW, if you missed Gabby Sidibe on last weekend's show, here's a look. Overall, she was just... "ehhh," but I was happy she got the gig. I think the writers could have given her more to do.

Click here for more Sidibe clips.

Fierce or Fail?: Toni Braxton

2010-04-27T12:41:00.000-04:00

Toni Braxton rocked this lacy catsuit with her new 1/2 mohawk recently.

Are you digging this? More importantly, would you rock it?

Snaps via Jemblog

Now, THAT's One Ill Na-na

2010-04-27T12:11:00.000-04:00

'70s Blaxploitation film goddess Pam Grier's new book has some interesting revelations. Among them: she had Richard Pryor to thank for a buildup of cocaine residue near her cervix! Yup. You can resume blinking now.

Grier's new memoir, Foxy: My Life in Three Acts, details her relationship with the comedian and how Pryor must have used cocaine to keep his peen (ahem) "up" during sex.

Here's an excerpt of a conversation Grier had with her doctor:

He said, "Pam, I want to tell you about an epidemic that's prevalent in Beverly Hills right now. It's a buildup of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vagina. You have it. Are you doing drugs?"

"No," I said, astonished.

"Well, it's really dangerous," he went on. "Is your partner putting cocaine on his penis to sustain his erection?"

"No," I said, "not that I know of. It's not like he has a pile of cocaine next to the bed and he dips his penis in it before we have sex." I had a nauseating flash of one of Richard's famous lines: Even my dick has a cocaine jones.

"Are you sure he isn't doing it in the bathroom before he comes to bed?" the doctor asked.

"That's a possibility," I said. "You know, I am dating Richard Pryor."

"Oh, my God," he said. "We have a serious problem here. If he's not putting it on his skin directly, then it's worse because the coke is in his seminal fluid."

Grier told the doctor her mouth did go numb sometimes when she "mic checked" the peen, which is an apparent link to the Novocaine-like effects of cocaine.

Bottom line: ladies, protect your lady-parts (and your mouth)!

Ewww.

Source

Brew Tube: Old Spice Spoof

2010-04-27T00:22:00.001-04:00

11 year old Christian Lee made this cute video of the Old Spice “look @ your man… I’m on a horse” ad for his Mom’s birthday. His parody landed him a spot on Ellen’s show and a nice lil treat for Moms too…

Moms is totally losing her isht right now...BTW.

Source

Brew Funny: That's One Crazy Arse Kobe "Stan"

2010-04-26T23:28:00.000-04:00

This guy has to be a comedian...or I'm really scurred for the Kobester.

P.S. ...that's my fave pic of the Bryants, ever!

Brew Bits: Granny Got Guns!

2010-04-26T19:54:00.000-04:00

Dayum! 72-year-old Ernestine Shepherd has won several body building contest and teaches a fitness classes at her church. Watch her story, it's truly motivating!

For Hip Hop News & Entertainment at DimeWars.Com

Source

Brew Bits: Girl, Bye Files

2010-04-26T10:37:00.001-04:00

Yes..that's a mug shot.. Classy.

Deep from the annals, of the: 'I'M NOT GETTING AS MUCH AIR TIME AS THAT TATTED UP WHO-ARE, FILES!' Here comes Mistress Number 2, of the um...Vanilla Gorilla, writing a letter of apology to Sandra Bullock.

Melissa Smith says, "I compromised my beliefs on several occasions and as a result will never forgive myself." (Ah, for TWO YEARS?) "Please contact me if you wish to discuss on the phone or in person."

I mean does she think they're gonna be besties? I'm so confused. Read this nonsense HERE. (TMZ scares me. How do they get this ish?)

The most 'WTF?' part of this is, she appears to have faxed it to Sandra's production office. Because there is nothing you want more than your staff handing you a letter from your husband's mistress, hot off the presses. Lady, why don't you just have a talk with you God and leave Sandra out of it? This is some hoodrat stuff.

Give me back that filet of fish...

2010-04-25T17:04:00.002-04:00

Is this chick fo' real? Ice-T's "wife" CoCo (@cocosworld) tweeted this picture of her getting a bikini wax. WHO CARES? I'd say more but we know how her pimp likes to hand out virtual bitch smack downs to Brewchies on Twitter.

Trey Songz: Unplugged

2010-04-25T16:19:00.003-04:00

Remember when you could actually find music on music television channels? I think I was about 14 then. Anyway, perhaps the times are a-changin'. Trey Songz is the latest act to score his own MTV Unplugged session. And the clips have hit the innawebs. Even if you aren't a Trey Songz fan, you'll have to admit, the idea of an artist just performing his/her craft without a bunch of autotunin' and coonin', a gyrating-pelvic-thrusting dancer or a lil rapper announcing "the goon's home" is quite refreshing.

Taste The Brew to see the clips.

Trey's Unplugged airs Monday night on MTV.

Photo: Honey magazine

Coming Soon: "Diary of a Hip-Hop Girlfriend"

2010-04-23T21:50:00.000-04:00

In order to get your mug on TV these days, you don't need to be a wife or even a housewife, really. All you need to be is a girlfriend. Correction, a "girlfriend" of someone famous. Not necessarily the main girlfriend, just the one most photographed with said celebrity, or the one who drives the most expensive car bought by the aforementioned "celebrity." Case in point: VH1's upcoming reality series, "Diary of a Hip-Hop Girlfriend."

The new show will follow four women who are in love with a rap star (presumably, not the same rap star, but ya never know). VH1 says “this docu-soap series follows four women who share a common bond: they understand the joys and pains of being in love with a big name rapper. Sure, there’s the glamorous lifestyle — full of bling, Bentleys and mansions. But behind closed doors, they struggle against shifting loyalties, baby-mama drama and the huge shadow cast by their larger-than-life partner. This 8-part series charts the women as they navigate their relationships with the men they love while they try to maintain a sense of self in the eye of the hip-hop hurricane.”

Don't all these shows claim to give us the nitty gritty, yet they routinely fail to do so? Anyway, no word on a release date for Diary of a Hip-Hop Girlfriend or who's been cast for the show.

Who'd you like to see on this show?

Source

Would You Rock It?: Salma Hayek's Boots

2010-04-23T19:49:00.001-04:00

Salma Hayek and her hubby stepped out for last night's Christie's Green Auction in New York City. Salma rocked a cute hair cut and a simple black outfit with a pair of striking (that could be good or bad) open toed Balenciaga boots.

She says they're comfy... but are they cute?

Would you rock 'em? Take our poll...

Free Web poll for your Web site - freepolls.com

Pics courtesy: Dave Allocca/Startraksphoto.com and Stan Honda, AFP/Getty Images
Source

Mo money, Mo problems?

2010-04-23T14:50:00.000-04:00

Is it possible to feel happy AND sad that someone has hit a $258 million dollar jackpot? 29-year-old Chris Shaw of Missouri won the ginormous powerball booty on Wednesday. The convenience store worker has three children and was nearly broke when he got word of the win. He bought the ticket at his job and hasn't decided if he's going to quit yet. He did say he's taking his family to Disneyworld and buying two new front teef, bless his heart. It's those last few sentences that have a Witch petrified for our little country friend. Dude, if you're not sure that you're going to quit your $7.25 an hour job when you have more money that Bill Gates, then that's a problem. If you can't think past Mickey Mouse and 'em in Florida, then that's a problem. You can buy Disneyland...or at least a stake in the company. Think globally son! I would be chucking up DUECES to that job and everyone else at that press conference.

Lottery winners haven't had good track records so let's all pray to White Jesus that the predators don't come after this man but I'm pretty sure they've already started!
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Name Change Candidate #566: Maurkice Pouncey

2010-04-23T14:25:00.001-04:00

So the NFL draft just went down. It's the day groupies, mouvas and baby-mouvas all LIVE for. Anybigcomeuphow, I noticed the Steelers picked Maurkice Pouncey as their first round draft pick out of Florida. That name gave me pause. Maurkice? Really Son? How about just Maurice? Why the "kice" at the end mama? I guess it doesn't matter since he's not going to have to go and get a good gubment job anytime soon with his mad stupid income, however it's a bit much, no? You fancy negrids and your hybrid name make me itch! Go that a way....

Will You Watch?: TV One's "The Ultimate Merger"

2010-04-23T11:20:00.001-04:00

Why lawd, why? Donald Trump has decided to put Omarosa back on our teevay screens in yet another reality show. This time, she's trying to find a man, or as The Donald says, find a man to "tame her." *Blank stare* Omarosa will get to pick from 12 bachelors on the show, which is "coming soon" to TV One.

Al B. Sure, Chef G. Garvin and Pastor Jamal Bryant all make appearances on the show! I can't with this one.

Here's a clip...

Who am I kidding... I'll be watching this shizz too. *makes room in DVR*

So, will you watch?

Sonja Norwood Talks Sex Tape

2010-04-23T10:39:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking a sex tape has to the be most awkward topic of discussion in front of your parents. Perhaps, that's another reason -on top of 100 others- not to film and leak one in the first place. Anyway, watch as Wendy Williams asks the question we all probably wanted to get the answer to: how does Ray J's mamma feel about her son's sex tape with Kim Kardashian?

*Zing!*

Brew Throwback: Me'shell Ndegeocello

2010-04-22T20:49:00.000-04:00

I used to pump this song something fierce back in the day... now that I'm older, this kinda sounds like the stalker's anthem.

Anyway, here's a live version of Outside Your Door

Here I am waiting.
Just waiting.
Anticipating a chance to run into you.
I sit here for hours.
One day I even sat through a rain shower.
For just a glance.
A chance to talk to you.
You're probably wondering how I even know you.
For now you're just my dream.
And when I wake up I hope you talk to me.
Here I sit outside your door.
Talk to me.

Mmmmmmmkay...

Brew Funny: Charles Barkley Drops The A-Bomb

2010-04-22T17:44:00.000-04:00

In case you missed it… earlier this week, during TNT’s NBA playoff coverage, Charles Barkley dropped the a-bomb, live on the air, when asked if he prefers blondes or brunettes. As if anyone really needed to ask…

Watch...

Brew PSA: Please Don’t Piss Off Naomi Campbell

2010-04-22T16:57:00.000-04:00

When will people learn: you don’t piss off the Naomi?

Watch as this ABC News producer tries to pin Naomi down about allegations she received a “blood diamond” from deposed Liberian president Charles Taylor.

Gotta admire the cojones on that ABC chick… she coulda caught a throatchop with a Blackberry.

Source

Basketball Wife Lets It All Hang Out On The Innawebs

2010-04-22T16:49:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well… what do we have here? Basketball ~~Never Been A Wife~~ Wives cast member Evelyn Lozada is the latest to join the “I got nekkid pics on the Internet” club. Lozada –who you’ll recall is the one who staged a lil "get yo mind right and don't embarrass me" intervention for Dwight Howard’s baby mamma after she popped it and dropped it low for everyone to see Super Bowl weekend– was once engaged to Antoine Walker. Her nudish pics popped up on The YBF and were reportedly sent to a former “bed buddy.” Is that what they’re called now? Gotta be more careful who you flash boob to these days.

Anyway, the NSFW pics are here. Freaks!

Happy Earthday

2010-04-22T10:51:00.000-04:00

I don't know about you, but it seems to me that Mother Earth is getting properly annoyed with human disrespect. Four months into the new decade, the world has seen multiple cross Continent earthquakes, floods, mud-slides and economy debilitating volcanic eruptions (I love that word... eeeeeeruptions..heh!) annnyways. Treat her a little better, m'kay!?

By now you should have 'Gone Green' already, carrying a reusable water bottle, bringing your own bags to the grocery store, buying your produce locally grown. Here are some not so new, but you still may not be doing it ways, to do your share.

Toys: Parents always marvel that your kids are just as happy to play with boxes...check this awesomeness out! And you won't have to worry that you'll be next on the recall list.

Some of you may have to reinforce these with steel bars...or 2x4's or something for your lil' thickums...jussayin'..
DIY chair and table set instructions @ OhDeedoh.com

For the super crafty@ Ohdeedoh.com

Everything in this picture is handmade, amazing right!?

Home: Use no VOC acrylic paint, awesome for people with allergies and hypersensitivity to chemicals and kids, who put their mouths on everything.- YOLO Colorhouse. AMAZING color palettes.

Travel: Offset the emissions you're using on that boozy trip to Rio (well, after they clear up the mudslide, Yikes!). Purchase Carbon offset for your personal carbon footprint: Sustainable Travel International

Check out some eco-friendly travel options over at TreeHugger.com

Fashion: I am all about sustainability, though I have an aversion to wearing anything that looks itchy scratchy or too mother 'earthy'. There is no excuses for a woman to look like a hobo, unless she is a hobo...

The good news is organic fashion these days doesn't mean looking like Woody Harrelson...wearing the equivalent of a burlap sack. Check out these cute dresses @ Nixxi

Didja know?

The first Earth Day was April 22, 1970, and was the brainchild of Sen. Gaylord Nelson.
(Heh...I bet he got beaten up a lot in school).

Namaste, b!tches!

Brew Music: Ciara + Ludacris - "Ride" [VIDEO]

2010-04-21T20:21:00.000-04:00

...and from the videotape my best skrippa moves files, here's Ciara's new video, "Ride," featuring Ludacris.

*blank stare*

blink, blink

What's this song about again? Lacefronts?

Brew Funny: Affion Crockett's "Hustles With Russells"

2010-04-21T19:55:00.000-04:00

Check out part 6 of Affion Crockett's series "Hustles with Russells." I love that Russell Simmons has the sense of humor for this.

Click here to view the entire parody series.

Networks Don’t Want You To See This Ad

2010-04-21T19:04:00.000-04:00

The folks over at ABC and Fox don’t want you to see this ad featuring curvy, thick'ems prancing around in their skivvies.

Retailer Lane Bryant says ABC restricted its airtime and refused to show the commercial during Dancing with the Stars. Fox demanded re-cuts of the ad and only aired it during the last 10 minutes of American Idol, but only after Lane Bryant threatened to pull the plug on its advertising dollars.

BTW, no one seems to have a problem running this new Victoria’s Secret ad…

Hmmmm…double standard much? What’s your call?

Source

Teen Takes “Stop Snitching” To His Deathbed

2010-04-21T13:42:00.000-04:00

In are you forking kidding me news…

17 year old Robert Tate took the hood credo “stop snitching” to his grave. The teen was shot in the chest as someone approached him on a Chicago sidewalk earlier this month. As he lay dying, police asked him “do you know who shot you?” Tate’s response, “I know, but I ain’t telling you sh!t.”

Really?

Seriously?

Has it come to this, that we’d rather die than point a finger at someone who’s done the ultimate wrong?

Tate's mother doesn’t buy the cop’s story. Cynthia Washington describes her son as a "very respectful child" and doesn’t believe he’d withhold that information.

One cop said he knows that “stop snitching” has become the matra for the streets, but he says he’s never seen anyone take it to the grave like this.

Damn.

Source

Brew Health Throwback: VD Gets Around

2010-04-21T13:31:00.000-04:00

And we now pause for this vintage PSA…

Wrap it up!

Spotted

Ice T Goes Off On Twitter

2010-04-21T13:13:00.001-04:00

Never one to hold his tongue on Twitter, Ice T is railing against the very suspect letter released after the news of the legendary Guru's death. Take a look at his tweets (from the bottom up)...

Do you agree with him? What's your call?

Another Reason to Stay Outta Motown: Bus Driver Goes Banonkers!

2010-04-21T12:04:00.001-04:00

Dizzam! this Detroit bus driver went it...... YIKES!

Will You Watch?: Black Women Are Hopeless, Episode #490

2010-04-20T23:41:00.007-04:00

Here we go again...

ABC is continuing the debate about whether successful sistas can have the job, house, car, baby, man and the marriage.

Nightline is tackling the question "why can't a successful black woman find a man?" in a "face-off" hosted by Vicki Mabrey. The panel features co-host Steve Harvey (multiple marriages), Sherri Shepherd (divorced), Jacque Reid (still searching), Jimi Izrael (just learned who you were today) and Hill Harper (not married). Um, isn't someone missing from the panel: a successful married black woman? Oh wait... there aren't any, right? (If you believe the hype) Maybe Vicki is married. #kanyeshrug

The "face-off" airs Wednesday, April 21st at 11:35 pm (ET) on Nightline.

So, will you watch?

Photo: Ida Mae Astute/ABC News

What’s Brewing?

2010-04-20T19:39:00.000-04:00

Mariah & Nick getting married again - US Magazine

Surgeon cuts off testicle... by mistake. Ouch! – BBC

Oprah’s not telling you who her daddy is – Starpulse

Prince touring Europe – Oh No They Didn’t

ATL Housewives bring diva ways to movie set – PopEater

VH1's Hip Hop Honors heads south – AllHipHop

Norma Kamali’s swimwear line looks like Rihanna’s lemme run to Target real quick outfit – Fabsugar

Man loses skin on finger in iPad theft – Perez Hilton

Brew Music: Shyne, T.I. + Kelis

2010-04-20T18:24:00.000-04:00

Shyne is taking shots at 50 Cent in this new diss track, “There Will Be Blood.” Take a listen…

Again, WTF happened to his voice?

T.I.’s new video, “I’m Back,” drops on Monday. Here’s the teaser…

And, Kelis has 2 new tracks that leaked on the innawebs. Click here to take a listen to “4th of July” and “22nd Century.”

You likey?

Brew Bits: Burger King Brunch?

2010-04-20T18:11:00.000-04:00

Burger King is going a little bougie. The BK plans to test out a brunch menu to pull in the ladies who lunch crowd.

The “Burger King brunch" is testing in a few areas, including Massachusetts, Florida and parts of Canada. The meals will be served until 10:30 am and will feature a nonalcoholic mimosa made of orange juice and Sprite and a Ciabatta Breakfast Sandwich of scrambled egg, cheese, tomato, ham and bacon, with a "smoky" tomato sauce on the bread.

So, will you eat it?

Source

High Holiday: 4/20

2010-04-20T17:53:00.000-04:00

Happy 4/20! For all you squares, four-twenty is slang from the sticky icky subculture. The "high" holiday got started in California back in 1971 when a group of teenagers met every day after school at precisely 4:20pm to spark one. I never knew a weed head to be that precise about anything except the type of snack they wanted when the munchies kicked in! The last time I tried to indulge, my best friend found me in the living room sticking my fingers in my ears taumbout I was trying to turn down the TV! Then we started taking turns posing like the artwork in the house! Needless to say that was my tenth first and last time trying to play Smokey from Friday, but hey we Witches don't judge, so puff puff pass if you will! Just stay out of the chicken coop, son!

Things Negroes Like: Unemployment Edition

2010-04-20T17:48:00.000-04:00

The national unemployment rate is hovering around 10.4% and one of ye ~~not so~~ merry Witches is among the jobless. At first, dropping a job that ran me ragged seemed like a relief… two months ago! Now, it’s not so fun. I can only imagine how the people who’ve been jobless for 6+ months are handling it. But, on the tough days, I try to think of the bright side… ya know, the things we like about unemployment.

Run it…

Unemployment checks – assuming you actually get them. I’m still waiting on mine to arrive. Don’t even get me started.

Sleeping late – I am not a morning person. So ditching the waking up at 6 or 7 in the morning is actually a sweet relief. Nowadays, I open one eye to catch Matt & Meredith in the morning, maybe catch a little nap then start my AM e-mail, blog news, job hunt and other web-Brewshyt search.

Court shows – I hear these are the hotness with the unemployed set. I’ve never really liked them. But I do watch my Wendy!

Catching up on TiVo – I know what you’re thinking: why the need to TiVo when you’re home? I have to keep myself busy during the day, I do an odd job here and there, so I’ve got to stay on top of my DVR game. Plus, all these shows I wanna see come on at the same time anyway. TiVo gives me the freedom to watch Brandy’s lacefront migrate to her eyebrows whenever I want.

Hood chef – I get a chance to get my new recipe on when I’m home. There’s less temptation to eat the crap you find at most workplace lunch spots when all you’ve got in the fridge on a Friday night is fruit and soup and some frozen chicken in the freezer. You’d be surprised what I can do with some tacos and frozen skrimpz! And just wait til I unveil my Shake Weight guns!

I hope the job search starts looking up for all my Brewchies who fell victim to the lay-off stick… happy searching!

Brew Bits: Fake goods help Haiti

2010-04-20T17:34:00.000-04:00

New York City is shipping 125,000 pounds of fake designer gear to earthquake victims in Haiti. The goods bore lables from the likes of Ed Hardy, Nike and True Religion. The Brooklyn District Attorney said normally, confiscated knock-offs are burned, but he received special permission from the real label heads to remove the fake insignia and donate the clothes. Nice!
Source

Confessional Rant Tuesdays

2010-04-20T17:27:00.003-04:00

Poor grammar drives me forking NUTS! If I read one more message board or forum, where some clown has illiterately declared: 'diz aint my thesus whysss cantz I spell da wayz I wantz to?!' My forking head will explode all over my forking laptop and quite frankly, it is not in my budget to replace my computer- homie-lover-friend. Oh and sweetie, we KNOW this is not your thesis. Clearly.

Do you know why we all speak the same standard language? So we all can effectively communicate! The proverbial man isn't trying to hold you down. He's trying to understand what the hell you are talking about. Now, isn't that even more imperative when READING is involved? Don't you want to get your point across succinctly and clearly; especially on the interwebs? Why is ok for people to think that you REALLY think that a 'Z' can replace an 'S', in a word? Grillz is not a word, son!

Don't even get me started on that bulljivington called 'Ebonics', it's called laziness. And it is nothing but an excuse to embrace illiteracy.

PS, I know it's a real chore to type a period, or hyphen or W.J.- Forbid a comma. I know baby....I know.. but remember punctuation is our friend...and sometimes lover.

P.P.S.-- Just for the record, I never once thought I was white because I speak clearly in full English.

*I beat you because I love you...

Brew Fashion Bit: Vera Wang… On The Cheap (sorta)

2010-04-20T15:39:00.000-04:00

Vera Wang is about to drop a collection for David’s Bridal. The bridal collection will be available next spring, with bridesmaids dresses and children’s wedding outfits to follow.

The collection will range $600-1500 which is a huge discount from her normal $4000-25000 top o' the line wedding collection.

And, Vera got love for the big gals too: the dreses will run to a size 30!!!

Source

Kumar Got Jacked!

2010-04-20T15:32:00.000-04:00

Even Kumar isn’t safe in Chocolate City.

“Harold and Kumar” star Kal Penn (government: Kalpen Modi) was robbed at gunpoint in Washington, DC early this morning. Penn works as an associate director in the White House's Office of Public Engagement. He was robbed around 1:30 am. Police call the incident "a basic street robbery" in which his wallet and other possessions were taken.

Kal’s gig at the White House ends this year so he can return to Hollywood to make another “Harold and Kumar” movie. I’ll bet he’s ready to leave right now.

Source

Cirque Du Michael Jackson

2010-04-20T14:54:00.000-04:00

Cirque du Soleil is taking on Michael Jackson’s catalog. The Canadian troupe is putting together a touring show for fall 2011 and a permanent show will be in Vegas in 2012.

*Booking my ticket to Vegas now…*

Jackson was reportedly a big fan of the French-Canadian clown posse. The man running Michael’s estate says, “we are excited to be partners with Cirque du Soleil to give Michael’s fans a truly unique way to hear, see and feel Michael’s music.”

I guess I could've found a happier clown, huh?

Source

Brew Quotes: Sarah Silverman

2010-04-20T13:52:00.000-04:00

"My boyfriend and I will watch The Bachelor, Real Housewives of New York, and we laugh at it, or whatever, but it just horrifies me to think there might be young impressionable girls who think this is what being a woman is, being a rich conniving backstabbing c*nt or someone who is flattered to be one of 25 girls some guy gets to pick from."

-Sarah Silverman dropping some science about reality shows and how some young people may misinterpret them.

Her new book, The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee, drops today.

Source

Brew Bits: Rat-atouille In A Can

2010-04-20T12:31:00.005-04:00

*No animated cute rodents were harmed in this video...

Rats near around and preparing food are only cute in the movies... this woman from Ohio claims her Chef Boyardee was serving up some extra protien, topping. Another case of, "perhaps you should start feeding your kids fresh food and not canned over processed, preservative laden ''Pasta""?. Seriously... a bag of real pasta is what -a dollar? How much is a tomato and some garlic? A dollar? Pfft.. Lazy Americans...Jamie Oliver, call this broad..

STORY:
"I opened it up and my face was very close to it and immediately you could tell there was a dead rodent on top, in fact you couldn't even see the spaghetti and meatballs at all," said Jennifer Aker.

In Case You Missed It: Mo’Nique’s Brother on Oprah

2010-04-20T12:00:00.000-04:00

If you missed yesterday’s Oprah show, then you missed Mo’Nique’s brother’s crocodile-tearful apology for molesting her as a child. Take a look…

The rest of the interview featured her parents and her other brother, but no appearance or comments from Mo'Nique. I dunno. I got a cocked, wonky side eye on this situation for some reason. What's your call?

Letterman Gets A Lil Freaky With The JLo

2010-04-20T11:39:00.000-04:00

Jennifer Lopez stopped by David Letterman’s show last night to promo her new movie, The Back-up Plan. Yes, she’s still acting?

Anywho, Letterman likes to sniff her… and taste her, apparently… watch as he sprays the perfume in his mouth.

Ewww.

Photo: PacificCoastNews.com

Hip Hop Pioneer Guru Dies of Cancer

2010-04-20T09:38:00.001-04:00

I promise, we'll have some better news today...

Hip hop legend and Gang Star member Guru has died. Guru suffered a heart attack just over a month ago. He died of cancer-related causes yesterday after a long battle with the devastating disease.

Guru wrote this goodbye letter to his fans while in the hospital.. he was clear he did not want former Gang Starr collaborator DJ Premier to be part of any remembrance of him.

I, Guru, am writing this letter to my fans, friends and loved ones around the world. I have had a long battle with cancer and have succumbed to the disease. I have suffered with this illness for over a year. I have exhausted all medical options.

I have a non-profit organization called Each One Counts dedicated to carrying on my charitable work on behalf of abused and disadvantaged children from around the world and also to educate and research a cure for this terrible disease that took my life. I write this with tears in my eyes, not of sorrow but of joy for what a wonderful life I have enjoyed and how many great people I have had the pleasure of meeting.

My loyal best friend, partner and brother, Solar, has been at my side through it all and has been made my health proxy by myself on all matters relating to myself.

The letter continues...

I do not wish my ex-DJ to have anything to do with my name likeness, events, tributes etc. connected in anyway to my situation including any use of my name or circumstance for any reason and I have instructed my lawyers to enforce this. I had nothing to do with him in life for over 7 years and want nothing to do with him in death. Solar has my life story and is well informed on my family situation, as well as the real reason for separating from my ex-DJ.

Wow. He's pretty clear on that! Unless Solar wrote it...hmmm.

Keith "Guru" Elam was just 43 years old.

Click here to read his entire letter.

Breaking Brew: Dr. Dorothy Height passes

2010-04-20T07:05:00.000-04:00

Getty Images

Dr. Dorothy Height, an icon of the Civil Rights Movement and a longtime leader in the pursuit of equal rights for women, has died at the age of 98.

Height had been in the intensive care unit at Howard University Hospital since March 18.

Height has been a part of many of the nation's historic civil rights events. She stood beside Dr. Martin Luther King at the Lincoln Memorial as he gave his famous "I have a dream" speech. She had said she had directly known every American president since Franklin Delano Roosevelt. And she was on the stage in Washington for President Barack Obama's inauguration.

Story

What’s Brewing?

2010-04-19T17:56:00.000-04:00

Some afternoon linkage for your reading pleasure... don't read and drive though. That's messy...

Soooooo, the iced out Newport chain was a bad idea, huh? – Hip Hop Wired

Jay-Z live @ Coachella [VIDEO] – 2dopeboyz

Kendra Wilkinson drops it low for Too $hort…Hank must be pleased – Rap Radar

Facebook scraps “fans,” opts for “like” button – Huffington Post

Nicki Minaj feels guilty about her lyrics – Miss Info

Kate Hudson has new boobs? – US Magazine

Did you know?: Doing hoodrat-shyt causes earthquakes? – The Frisky

Well, prepare for an aftershock then, cuz Tiger’s jumpoffs are getting a reality show – The Grio

Celebrity Letter: Dhani Jones

2010-04-19T14:57:00.000-04:00

Dear Dhani,

I've been waiting for months to see you tackle the globe again while I think sessy thoughts of sacking you! Well tonight is our night! I hope the show producers got all 319 of my voice mail messages to include more episodes where you're required to unclothe, wrestle, or swim so water can DRIP..ALL..OVER..YOUR..BODY! Anyway, I'll see you at 11pm tonight for our "date".

P.S. Call me :)

Love,
A Witch

Splitsville: Come To My Window Edition

2010-04-19T14:05:00.000-04:00

Can anybody make it work?

Melissa and Tammy Etheridge have ended their nearly nine-year relationship. A source close to the couple says there's no cheating involved (finally!)...this was just an old fashioned case of growing apart. Perhaps Melissa being 48 and Tammy (who's an actress) being 35 had something to do with it? I dunno. The couple are co-parenting their 3 year old twins.

Bahumbug.

*holds on to hope that Ellen & Portia make it*

Photo: Jill Johnson/JPI
Source

Brew Tube: "Glee" Auditions - Candy Slice....

2010-04-19T12:43:00.000-04:00

OK, freakin hilarious! Candy Slice is a group auditioning to be on "Glee", peep their rendition of "My Chick Bad"....... I heart them!

Ask A Dude: Eleven WhoAres Grinding...

2010-04-19T12:03:00.000-04:00

Brew Chick Q:

So...you're getting murried..aw that's nice, 'yay love' and alla that. Your boys, looking out for YOU (yep, nothing in it for them at all...) decide to throw you a bachelor party...with ELEVEN strippers (hell, why not make it a dozen, heck a bakers dozen?!)...but I digress.

Do you tell your fiancee, what's on the agenda? Or is it none of that chick's business?

And please explain to women why you feel it is imperative to get shit faced/hump greasy sweaty, most likely generously badly tatted, strange ladies (and see them do side show vaginal tricks) before getting married?

Discuss.

PHLIP: If I was getting married, then I would at least tell her what we were doing, and given that I would be the model citizen that I would have to be to even let it get up to getting married in the first place, I would have nothing to worry about.

Why? Bachelor (and Bachelorette, don't try to front and act like men are the only ones) parties are supposed to be about someone's "last night as a free man/woman," and the generally accepted (and safest, actually) way to go about that is a drunken night out with your friends and the services of a skrippah or 15. So long as you are adhering to the "build your appetite where you want, but eat at home" rule, then no rules are broken. If she can't trust him or he can't trust her to not fuck the fuck up that night, then they should probably rethink why it is they're getting married in the first place.

THE CASHER!: Nope. You don't tell. That's one of the man codes. Women don't know how to let stuff go, and if you tell, you may hear about it whenever she feels like throwing that trump card.
A bachelor party is "supposed" to serve as your last hoorah. You're supposed to get as wild as you can, because once you say "I do", your life changes. For better or for worse is a matter of opinion. And usually, the stripper does what you know your wife won't do. The wife's pictured as the beautiful bride. Sweet and pure on her big day. It's supposed to be set around romance and love, even on the honeymoon. The stripper though...straight butt naked ass fun.
So let him live it up and have his last night. He may never have another with his boys, especially

BIANCA: So, marriage means he can't see his friends anymore? No wonder the divorce rate is so high, jeez! (*Well except for his friend name Ced.. NEVER under any circumstances trust your man's friend, if his name is "Ced". It's a rule I stand by, Trust me).

SUpreme: First off - NO. I wouldn't tell my wife about the details of the party, only that we were having one. No matter what you say or how you frame it, it's only going to feed her fears, doubts and/or insecurities about the party. And in the case of SOME women - they'll even try to crash it.
As far as why you have the party - no man can speak for every man's motivation. In my experience...the party is usually more fun for the groom's boys, though I'm not trying to say the groom doesn't have fun. It's like their way of saying "This is IT! After tonight, the only booty you'll ever see is HERS." So, the organizers tend to make the party over-the-top and take it to extremes that no man tends to see or go through in normal life, to give him the "last hurrah" before forsaking all women for the rest of his life.
Parties can go from one extreme to the other. I've seen parties where the groom left after a half an hour, but the party went all night. An d then I've seen...well, I won't get into THAT. I'll just say it IS up to the groom how much active participation in the fun he experiences. And not EVERY bachelor party is evil or has the same activities

Bianca: Personally, I say let your man do what he wants (he will anyways). #kanyeshrug...

But, I swear, I'm sending this here dime as a gift for my next to be married, homie.

You're welcome.

Forget What Chilli Wants, What She Needs is Her Head Examined.....

2010-04-19T11:57:00.000-04:00

So watching Chili’s show last night got me to thinking, is she insane or perfectly normal to think that it’s possible to meet this dreamboat man that meets all the requirements on her list? I’m leaning more to her being a bit insane on this one. Having standards are absolutely necessary when on the dating scene, but standards and a list are two different things I think. Her matchmaker (the young lady with the ginormous tittyballs) found her a nice looking dude and after much prodding, convinced her to at least go on the date with him. Upon meeting him she had immediately dismissed him as not her type physically (again, he was very attractive, huh???), that he wasn’t fine enough, HUH??? Now Ms. Rozanda, are you telling me that this man

And this man are super fine???? SERIOUSLY ROZANDA, SERIOUSLY????

Clearly you comprised a bit on your list when you were involved with them, I mean are they unattractive? Absolutely not, but neither look like the swole beefcake skrippa she had come to her house to show the giant tittyball lady what was more her type, yeeeeeaaaaaa alrighty then Chilli.

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

The more I consider my own interactions with men and those of my close friends I have to wonder if we are our own worst enemy. Sure we get done wrong sometimes but should the end result of those experiences end with you creating some bizarre list of requirements for the man you want in your life who probably only exist in Greek mythology or in a Tyler Perry movie??? Perhaps we should spend some of the time we spend writing that list on improving ourselves (there is always some schooling to finish, books to read, work to be done in the community, weight that needs to be lost and so on) and let whatever’s for you come to you naturally.

We all have an ideal person we create in our head and would love to meet but come on son! How many people actually ever meet the person you carve out in your imagination?? You come close sometimes but something will always be off and while I’m no expert, I’m pretty certain that many of the ladies with these lists can anticipate being alone for a loooooonnnnngg arse time if they think all those check marks will ever get marked.

Note: The opinions expressed are those of one witch and one witch alone and do not reflect the opinions of the other 3 witches………. (but they better have my beck regardless, lol!)

TOODLES!

White Meat Heat of the Week: Ryan Phillippe

2010-04-18T19:39:00.004-04:00

Always yummy in a pretty boy way, it seems like with each year he gains an ab... what is up to now like a 9 pack? Momma likey! And so do the generous souls over at Men's Health.
He also gave quite the gun show last night on SNL

Brew Music: Usher + Robin Thicke – “Secret Garden”

2010-04-17T22:03:00.000-04:00

I’m usually of the belief that a good thing should just be left alone. Case in point: classics like Quincy Jones’ baby-making ballad “Secret Garden.” This song was a hit when I had no real clue how to make a baby in the first place, but I sure got a better idea after listening to it.

Anywho, Usher and Robin Thicke have remade “Secret Garden” for Quincy Jones’ new project (produced by Jermaine Dupri). I’m gonna jump out the window here and say I don't like it. And I really hate not liking it because I tend to like all things Thicke. Hell, I loved Robin even when he was a grungy little thing.

But, you take a listen and tell us what you think.

Download

The full version of the track is supposed to feature LL Cool J, Tevin Campbell, Tyrese and Trey Songz…so maybe I’ll have feelings for it once it's complete.

And here's the original for those who tend to stick to the classics!

You likey the new version?

What’s Brewing?

2010-04-17T21:28:00.000-04:00

Oprah, is this yo’ daddy? – Oh No They Didn’t

Kat Stacks is back. This time, she’s drunk and in a random car. Disturbing. – Mrs. Grapevine

Those Kardashians can’t keep their clothes on – PopEater

Spelman gets $1 million grant [good Brew news] – NewsOne

Guess the bunions (you know you wanna) – Celebuzz

Kathy Griffin gets a public pap smear – Socialite Life

Female hip-hop continues its death spiral: Lil Kim makes her puddy purr – Tazz Daddy

Brew Quotes: Grace Jones

2010-04-17T20:55:00.000-04:00

I think it’s safe to jump out on that limb that Grace Jones is no fan of Lady Gaga’s.

“I really don’t think of her at all. I go about my business."
-Grace Jones’ thoughts about Lady Gaga

“Yes, she did, but I said no. I’d just prefer to work with someone who is more original and someone who is not copying me, actually.”
-Jones’ reaction to Gaga’s offer to collaborate

“Well, you know, I’ve seen some things she’s worn that I’ve worn, and that does kind of piss me off.”
-Jones on Gaga’s look

Source

Cookbook FAIL!

2010-04-17T16:02:00.000-04:00

An Australian publisher had to scrap and re-print a cookbook after one of its recipes called for "salt and freshly ground black people" instead of black pepper.

Penguin Group Australia had to reprint 7,000 copies of the "Pasta Bible" last week, costing them about $18K. But, some of the books were already stocked in book stores, so those will not be recalled. I guess you can look for them on eBay!

Almost every one of the recipes in the book listed salt and freshly ground black pepper, but a misprint occurred on just one page. The publisher calls it a "silly mistake."

Ya think?

I'm sure black people taste pretty good...well, with all the chicken and stuff we eat. We're probably very well grased and marinated. But, I really don't want them in my pasta.

Source

Rut Roh: Steve Harvey Has IRS Issues

2010-04-17T15:52:00.000-04:00

Steve Harvey needs to holla at the IRS. The government filed a $2,159,204 lien against his company Wonder Love, Inc. His lawyer says Harvey did not know about the lien, so Steve is unable to publicly address it. Hmmm... shouldn't the client be kept abreast on such issues? #justsayin

Steve did make a PR-pretty comment about it though:

Even though I'm not allowed to say anything concerning this tax matter...my lawyers are addressing any and all matters, with the attention that this matter deserves.

My foundation work is my mission toward securing a brighter future for the young men in our communities...and with God's help that work will succeed.

I want to thank the well-wishers and fans for their support, and rest assured this is being handled professionally.

Now, I'm sure he ~~duped enough women into buying~~ sold enough books to take care of the bill.

Source

Brew Music: The Carters Do Coachella

2010-04-17T15:40:00.000-04:00

The Carters did a little duet at the Coachella music fest in Cali yesterday. Check the vid:

I'm loving the laid back Beyonce... the boots? Meh...

The Perfect Gift For Your Drunky Aunt

2010-04-17T15:25:00.001-04:00

Errrybody got a drunky aunt. Don't play. You know you got one... and if not, you might be her.

Well, even drunky aunt needs a birthday gift every once in awhile, so why not buy her what she likes: libations and a way to tote her beverage of choice.

If she's a wino, she might like this "Baggy Winecoat" from the Scandinavian Design Center. The thing even comes with a spigot so you can get your drink-on, on the sneak and without even opening the bag! I mean, who wants to waste time on opening, de-corking and pouring anyway?

The drunky aunt bag is just 60 bucks. Isn't she worth it?

Would You Rock It?: Shrek Nails

2010-04-17T15:06:00.002-04:00

The folks over at OPI are hoping the new Shrek movie is hot with more than just the 8 year olds. Their new "Shrek Forever After" collection launches next month (just in time for the new flick) and there are no pinks or reds anywhere in sight! The colors are just what an ogre would love: shades of green, purple and blue. I think they're cute... but, would you rock it?

Taste The Brew to see the colors up close.

Funky Dunkey: grape purple

Rumple’s Wiggin’: soft lilac purple

Ogre-The-Top Blue: deep cyan "swimming pool" blue

What’s With The Cattitude?: sky blue creme

Who The Shrek Are You?: lime green

Fiercely Fiona: lemon (*Gucci Mane voice*) with a hint of green

Head over to All Lacquered Up for a review of the collection and more shots of the colors!

Brew Music: Rollacoasta.....

2010-04-16T20:00:00.004-04:00

Pop quiz!

What do you get when you mix 1 part Let's Jam with 1 part awkard dancing and 3 parts 'Still Sexy As Hell'?

Answer: ~~Mah~~ Paula Patton's, boo with help from that lady from across the pond

PS,Note to Rob: I'd have my people check the working papers on these vidja chicks, the one by the pool looked like a statutory rape charge waitin' to happen.

Signs You're D*ckmatized

2010-04-16T19:55:00.001-04:00

Courtesy: Freddyo.com

1) You start dressing and coordinating dirty couture outfits with your boo
2) You pull your hair in a random side thingy to keep up with the youngins
3) You hang in the VIP section with your club promoter baby boy...every weekend!

Get it Viv!

T-Pain Goes Gospel?

2010-04-16T15:44:00.000-04:00

The coonerific T-Pain, who brought us gems like "I'm In Love With A Stripper" and "Reverse Cowgirl," now wants to get his praise on.

Pain says he wants to try his hand at Christian pop.

“A lot of people don’t know this about me, but I am a deeply spiritual person. Dude, I go to church just as much as I go to the strip club. That’s saying something.”

The new album is tentatively titled "Heaven Got A VIP" and is due this September.

White Jesus has gone back into the tomb and rolled the stone.

Source

BET Bans A Video?

2010-04-16T15:27:00.003-04:00

Well, well, well... looks like BET grew up and got some cojones (allegedly).

Word is the network has banned the new Teairra Mari (feat. Soulja Boy & Gucci Mane) video, "Sponsor," because it teaches girls to get showered with gifts and money by having sexual relations with men.

Teairra's people sent this letter over to The YBF:

I was informed that 106 and Park, a source for African Americans to promote their music, have banned Teairra Mari's song Sponsor and other projects from surfacing on their channel. No one else will report because they don't want to put it on blast. I feel bad for the underdogs because they are not given a fair chance and its even worse when your own kind won't promote you. What's bad about Sponsor that overshadows any work that Lil Wayne, Ludacris, and many others have showcased on BET? Why is it, do you think, that booty shaking and such is allowed but a video by a woman encouraging others to make it is bad. Why is it that Lil Wayne can perform "Every Girl In the World" with his daughter on stage, but women artists have to be "appropriate". I understand if they would at least let Teairra come on the show to explain the concept behind the song. It just seems like a shady business where people who have made it have certain control over those that haven't through shady connections.

Ok, so it does seem like there's a clear double standard going on here, but, where should BET start drawing the line with some morals? Which videos and overall messages should be banned and is this something BET should even do?

What's your call?

UPDATE: Teairra tweeted that her vid has NOT been banned from BET. Interesting turn of events. I find that rumors don't exist in a vacuum...so, stay tuned...

What’s Brewing?

2010-04-16T15:13:00.000-04:00

Day 26 reject, Que, hangs out with his want out – Gyant Unplugged

“My Chick Bad” – the glee version – Crunk + Disorderly

Whitney & Bobby: partying together like old ~~cracky~~ times? – cele|bitchy

Kelly Rowland loses a job – Perez Hilton

Kim Kardashian likes her athletes – dlisted

Ugly Betty: The Movie? – Betty Confidential

Ricky Martin gets nekkid – Socialite Life

Jay-Z + Betty White... Match Made In Heaven

2010-04-16T14:33:00.000-04:00

Jay-Z will be the musical guest when everyone's favorite Golden Girl hosts Saturday Night Live next month. White is hosting a special Mother's Day episode of SNL on May 8th. She'll be joined by six former female SNL cast members: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer and Rachel Dratch.

Will you watch?

Source

Brew Music: Akon Remakes "Strawberry Letter 23"

2010-04-16T08:50:00.000-04:00

Can't say I ever saw this one coming: a Quincy Jones & Akon collabo? Jones is remaking a few of his classics with a twist: that twist would be letting modern, hip-hop acts put their spin on the music. First up, Akon. Check the new vid for the "Strawberry Letter 23" remake.

Did Quincy get that jacket from the Liberace collection?

The album, "Q: Soul Bossa Nostra," is due later this spring or summer. Other artists/producers contributing to the project: Snoop Dogg, Jermaine Dupri, Scott Storch, Trey Songz, Robin Thicke, Tevin Campbell, Mary J. Blige, Jennifer Hudson and Ludacris.

So, you likey?

Photo via MTV News

Free Stuff On Tax Day

2010-04-15T15:41:00.000-04:00

If you’ve yet to do your taxes, get a move on so you can partake in free stuff today:

Free coffee. Bring your travel mug to Starbucks for a free fill-up.

Free Cinnabon. Grab a free cupcake from Cinnabon today.

Free ice cream. MaggieMoo's is offering samples of its new ice cream pizzas (uh, what? Well, it’s free) between 3 p.m. and 7 p.m.

Free chicken. Buy one dinner plate at Boston Market and get a second one free with a coupon.

Cheap dinners. P.F. Chang’s and McCormick & Schmick's restaurants are offering discounted meals.

Tax-free groceries. Whole Foods stores in 18 locations across the south are offering a tax-free shopping day.

Click here for more free (or deeply discounted) tax day deals.

Wii Fit Makes Woman Want to do the "Grown Up"..........

2010-04-15T15:09:00.000-04:00

*sigh* Why don't I get afflicted with these kinds of disorders??? This woman falls off her Wii Fit board and now feels the constant need to hump trees, fire hydrants, door knobs and steering wheels and needs sex more than 10 times a day.

Man if this happened to me I'd probably end up in a coma and I would awaken to a 642lb male nurse humping the fat on my inner thigh ( you laugh but I've had more than one person mistake my thigh fat for vagicat......

A WOMAN has gone from Nintendo to nympho after a fall from her Wii Fit board turned her into a sex addict.

Randy Amanda Flowers needs 10 sex sessions a day after the slip-up.

And now the slightest of vibrations, from mobile phones to food processors, turns her on.

The catering worker said: “It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm.”

A doctor diagnosed her with persistent sexual arousal syndrome due to a damaged nerve.

Single Amanda, 24, from Harpurhey, Manchester, said: “With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply. Hopefully one day I’ll find a superstud who can satisfy me.”

SOURCE:

Monica Blows...

2010-04-15T15:00:00.000-04:00

Monica popped by the George Lopez show and put a hurtin’ on her song Everything To Me… check it…

I hope Deniece Williams is getting her cut.

Here’s her interview too…

She’s rockin’ her Miss Thang haircut from back in the day too… *sigh* takes me back to 10th grade. Boy, if I knew then what I know… oh wait, this isn’t about me…

And those shoes... my lawd!

Video via Mr. World Premiere

Sneak Peek @ Lady Gaga's Tour

2010-04-15T14:47:00.000-04:00

Laurieann "Boomkack" Gibson is still working after Making The Band (can't say that for the actual Bands, but Boomkack keeps huh a job.

Anywho, she choreographed for Lady Gaga's tour and one of the dancers uploaded this vid of their "Telephone" routine. Check it...

Um, was that a little bit of Hammer's "typewriter" I spied? And I'm *dead* at the random dude who walked in front of the camera. He just wanted to be on the teevay.

And click here if you're so inclined to cop a Gaga ticket.

Brew Bits: Sandra Bullock Will Tell All on George Lopez

2010-04-15T14:02:00.000-04:00

Sandra Bullock will spill the beans about her marital “challenges” with Vanilla Gorilla to her long-time friend, George Lopez. You’ll have to wait until November to see it though.

Bullock will be the first guest on Lopez’s TBS show in November, when it moves to the midnight time slot after Conan O’Brien’s new show debuts.

Sources close to Sandy say the actress hopes to have her life in better shape by the Fall. Lopez and Bullock have been friends for years. She used to serve as a producer for his sitcom.

Sorry, Oprah!

Source

Brew Funny: South Park Takes Shots At Everybody

2010-04-15T13:34:00.001-04:00

South Park marked its 200th episode last night with a celeb free-for-all, poking fun at everyone they’ve ever mocked on the show. Taste The Brew for some hilarity!

Eva Marcille Has A Mean Shoe Game

2010-04-15T00:21:00.000-04:00

Eva was on the Mo’Nique show. Not sure why…but her shoes are doing something fierce…

Ok, the posing along the banister… *rolls eyes*

I wish I would try to walk down the street, crossing my legs over each other. There would be a serious clean-up on aisle 4.

Meanwhile, Eva’s ex, Lance Gross, is also keeping himself in the headlines (maybe they’re battling to see who can keep their names in the press the most, I dunno). Lance tweeted this "fresh out the gym" photo of himself with his chest all out.

Holla!

Clip via Mr. World Premiere

Jizz For Your Nails?

2010-04-14T23:14:00.000-04:00

I swear, where do we find this stuff?

The bloggers over at Bleach Black have topped themselves. First, they sold a polish during the holiday season called “Dickweed.” Now, they’ve come up with something called “Jizz.” Umkay, it’s not made from that substance… but it sure resembles it (so I hear…).

“Jizz” is a pearly white color and is punched up with a bit of sheen, ya know, to keep it ladylike. So, spit…or swallow? Haaa.

Anyway, click here to find out when you can buy it.

Kathy Griffin Puts Her Vagicat On Display…

2010-04-14T22:49:00.000-04:00

…for a good cause.

The D-lister is getting a poolside pap smear this Friday in LA to do for cervical cancer awareness what Katie Couric did for colons.

Not only does Kathy plan to invite the press to witness her pap smear, she’s also getting her vagicat “vajazzled” with Swarovski crystals! Kathy hopes the public testing will encourage more women to get pap smears.

In case you’re on the West Side and wanna see Kathy’s cooch (I mean, maybe you should call first and see if there's some sorta press credential you need)… she’ll be poolside at the Palomar Hotel (10740 Wilshire Blvd. in Westwood) this Friday, April 16th at noon. If you miss it, don’t worry, it’ll be on My Life on the D List next season.

Source

Iman's Daughter Shares Her Weight Loss Story

2010-04-14T22:38:00.000-04:00

When your Mom is one of the most beautiful people in the world, I'd imagine it would be tough to grow up in her shadow... especially when you tip the scale at 330 lbs. Iman’s daughter, Zulekha Haywood, has gone public with her story of how she dropped major L-Bs by undergoing gastric bypass surgery to shed 170 lbs.

Zulekha shares her story in Glamour. She says:

Looking back, the lesson that a woman’s worth can never be found on a scale is one that I have known all along. I’m proud of the fact that at 330 pounds, I didn’t hide from life, and I didn’t let my weight define me. At 165 pounds, I won’t do that either.

Good for her!

And she is gorgeous, BTW.

Source

Brew Bits: HBO Renews “Treme”

2010-04-14T22:24:00.000-04:00

HBO is on the Treme bandwagon… hard! The cable network renewed the New Orleans-based drama after airing just one episode last week.

Treme (FYI: pronounced truh-MAY’) is set in New Orleans in the fall 2005, three months after Hurricane Katrina. The series follows a group of residents as they try to put their lives back together after the devastating storm.

1.4 million people watched the debut episode Sunday. Did you?

Source

Shaq Wants To Squash Basketball Wives

2010-04-14T22:19:00.000-04:00

Shaquille O’Neal is not feeling his ex-wife’s new VH1 reality show, Basketball Wives.

Shaq says Shaunie could be using the show to seek revenge on him, so he wants to legally prevent her from bashing him on the show. Shaq’s lawyer sent a letter to VH1, demanding the network halt production on future episodes of the show which make any references to the basketball star.

Shaq's lawyer claims Shaunie signed a confidentiality agreement during their marriage. If she talks about him on TV, Shaunie could be dragged to court. The second episode of Basketball Wives airs Sunday and it reportedly focuses on the O’Neal’s failed marriage.

Stay tuned...

Source

Whitney Houston Sounds Like _______…

2010-04-14T22:08:00.000-04:00

You fill in the blank.

Who: Whitney Houston
What: Performance after 4 missed concerts (stick around for the 3:17 mark)
When: Tuesday, April 13th
Where: Birmingham, England

I'm not even a fan of hers, but this right here makes me wanna curl up in the fetal position and chew on my blanky.

Photo: Carsten Windhorst/WENN
Source

Would You Rock It?: Stilettos with Socks

2010-04-14T21:54:00.000-04:00

Wearing socks with pumps has been an off and on trend on the runways for a few seasons, but now, designer Bruno Frisoni is kicking it up a notch. Frisoni is selling these stilettos that come with built-in socks.

The platform pumps also come in a more wearable look, sans socks.

So, would you rock a stiletto with a sock?

Source

Lil Wayne, Sports Blogger

2010-04-14T21:44:00.000-04:00

Lil Wayne continues to have more jobs than I do. Weezy blogged from prison about the Philadelphia Eagles’ trading Donovan McNabb to the Washington Redskins. Peep his thoughts and let us know if you agree…

I think this will be a great thing for all involved, except the Eagles. One reason is because I don’t think Andy Reid was ready to part ways with the soon to be 34 year old veteran. He still had a year left on paper with the Eagles, And though I don’t think they would’ve given him an extension, for some reason I think Andy would’ve liked to see Donovan play it out. Although Reid put the word out that he was entertaining offers a few weeks ago to the coaches and GM’s. I don’t think he was the brains behind that move. i think this was above him. Another reason is because of where he eneded up. Why send him to Washington? Now he gets to play the eagles twice. I’m sure he has those days marked already. The other reason is the Eagles don’t have sufficient QB to fufill the role. I mean the 2nd round pick, Kevin Kolb, and Michael Vick doesn’t exactly fit the bill if you ask me. Philly is a hard place to play and an even harder place to play for. My sympathy gees out to Kolb and Vick, who will be expected to do nothing other than win.

Now McNabb is headed to the great QB coaching of Shanahan. This will be great! He’s still a prime QB, despite the fact that he hasn’t played a full season all but once in the last six. He’s a post season shoe in. I’m glad he didn’t end up with the Raiders. He wouldn’t have a shot! I’m calling this the craziest QB trade since Brett to the Vikings.

Get’em Donovan!

Congrads to Duke & Coach K, as well as UCONN women and gents. I think both of those guys need new day jobs. More complicated ones. NBA, WNBA!

My Top 5 NFL Draft Picks are:

1. Ndamukong Suh / Jimmy Clausen

2. Gerald McCoy

3. Eric Berry

4. Dez Bryant

5. Russel O Kung

I'ma let that "congrads" slide. Go here to see more of Wayne’s thoughts from a jail cell.

Brew Music: Maxwell + The Dream

2010-04-14T21:35:00.000-04:00

Maxwell’s a busy many these days. His new video, “Fistful of Tears,” has hit the innawebs, plus, he’s scheduled to be on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars on April 20th and NBC’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno on April 22nd.

Here’s the new vid…

And, The Dream has finally put the finishing touches on his new track, “Love King.” We’ve already covered how I feel about this song.

You likey?

P.S. Commend me on my maturity. Not once did I think of typing how much I’d like to sop Maxwell up with a Popeye’s biscuit.

Oh dammit.