Things Negroes Like: Deathbed Edition

Ok, so I’m not dying, but it sounded thrilling, didn’t it?  My little sneezes and sore throat got me thinking about the things my people do to “cure” what ails them.  And since it’s Tuesday… you know what that means.

Run it… 

Hot Toddy

When tea and orange juice didn’t work, this was my Aunt’s slick way of slipping me brandy when I was underage.  “Come on, just drink it, it’ll open your head up.” The hell it did…and put me to sleep too.  She ain’t slick.

‘Tussin

This stuff is like sweet manna from Heaven when you’re sick.  The jury’s still out on whether it actually works or if you just take so much of it that you wind up on a Robitussin high where everything feels irie.

Vicks 

I’ve lauded the miracle of the burning Vicks rub before.  It’s like slathering a menthol cigarette on your chest…oh, it burns so good.  You can put it on your feet too.  I’ve been known to dump some of this fine gelatinous substance into a humidifier and let it boil.  Hmmmm, smelly!

Onions On Your Chest

Don’t laugh.  My people are Southern.  Heat up a few onions, put them in some foil, wrap it in a towel then put it on your chest for the night.  Somehow, it’s supposed to draw the cold from your body. Don’t ask me how…but it has worked.

Garlic In Your Socks

Again… Southern.  Put the garlic in your socks then go to sleep.  I’ve tried this and it only makes my feet stinky (not a good look).

Cayenne Pepper

It’s like Frank’s Hot Sauce…I put that isht on everything when I’m sick.  It makes me sweat up a storm and sometimes you’ve gotta get a sweat on to beat that cold out.

Til next week, stay healthy my lovelies!