Let’s face it. I’m hungry. I’m hungry, a lot. I like to eat and can’t think of one food that I don’t like. People who don’t want their foods to touch or who have lists of things they don’t eat frighten me. “Uh, lemme get a B.L.T. but hold the lettuce and the tomato. I don’t like vegetables.” Fool, you want a bacon sammich. Quit fakin!
This place doesn’t specialize in anything but cheesecake, I guess. There’s no one cuisine they master. The menu is pages and pages long, like reading a story. Should we really trust a place that doesn’t have a specialty? Either way, they’ve got some good bread and you can get 2 full meals off one entrée. Can’t beat that!
This place scares me a little. I’m never sure if there’s going to be a bug in my salad. But when you’re hungry and want to get your drink on, it’s a sure fire bet. Just don’t eat the broccoli. Ewww!
The service usually sucks but I’d cut a broad for the kiwi lemonade. Just don’t eat there if you’re in a hurry. I’m always left waiting for my meal. It never fails! By the time my food comes, I’ve gnawed my arm off to raise my blood sugar.
Sure, the shrimp may be imitation and the lobster kinda chewy, but the cheddar biscuits make up for a multitude of sins. Why is it that no one can recreate them biscuits at home? What are they putting in there, crack? Ooh, maybe that’s the secret ingredient.
Honorable mention: Golden Corral/Old Country Buffet/ANY buffet
Shoot me dead on the spot if you ever find me in one of these places. Sure, I’m Negro and all but the mulatto in me won’t let me enter these establishments. But I sure see all the rest of my brethren dining in these spots. Must be the dinner rolls or something (they are addictive…okay, so I’ve been in there once. Sue me!) because, much like shrimp fried rice, the buffet food sure does pass through you 15 minutes after you leave. Just hope you can make it home in time. Poopin’ while drivin’ is not cute.
Nassyass!
i dont like any of those restaurants..applebees food is disgusting ugh..cheesecake factory isn't that good...RED LOBSTER..HELL NO.only the biscuits
ReplyDeleteGolden corral..NOT
Lets be real, colored folk that frequent these establishments do so for one reason and its rarely hte food. And as a colored, I have gone to them as well, until I realized that they are only frequented by my kind and it could be a plam by Uncle Sam to kill me, I digressess.
ReplyDeleteCheese Cake Factory
Pro..Cheese cake is off the hook, and if the fat person inside the fat person, that is inside you loves cheesecake it is the spot for you.
Con..food sucks and there is a wait for no damn reason and "we don't take reservations" might as well be called the "blacks are never on time so why make reservations" rule.
CLub TGIFridays/Applebees/any other restaurant in the burbs:
Pro..your friend from around the way works there and you can get your drink on at what I like to call "teh club in the burbs" for a decent penny and hit on the girl/dude from Jr. High that you never got to holla at.
Con..every dead beat from your neighborhood (or yo mamas neighborhood/High School) is going to be in there and you could see your pastor.
Red Lobster
Pro..first seafood place most blacks every went to so it has a nostalgic feel and the cheddar biscuits is as close to reperations as we gone get.
Con..aint no seafood in the place!
Golden Corral/HOrn and Horn/Bubba Muscogees
Pro..It's all you can eat, and before we got "our money right" it was the place for family reunions/after church functions and if you know the right people you can do your wedding reception at the spot.
Con..The parking lot is always designed wrong, so getting safely in and out of the spot is unlikely..either people hungry and gone run over you or they full and gone walk lazily in the street.