IT'S JUST AN ASS!

“I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung!”


Seriously Sir Mix-A-Lot??? Yes, today as with most days I am both perplexed and amazed by the reaction that ‘thing’ back there gets. A simple but massive ass can cause a 50-car pile up, cause life long friends to never speak again, make a blind man see and make a priest turn in his rosary. AN ASS PEOPLE! A plain ole, garden variety ass…..

I happen to have a wide load ass, this thing is pretty muthaeffin huge! And yes it gets stares and glares, I get asked by women “how did that happen to it?” like it’s a birth defect, I’ve had the parents of certain men I’ve dated in the past say right in front of me “whoooo weeee son how you gonna manage all that?” UGH! And fa real….. IT’S JUST AN ASS!!!!

It can’t solve world peace, it can’t figure out an algebra equation, it can’t cure cancer, it can’t be the designated driver, it can’t think, or talk. All it does is poo and pass the winds (even now as I type this the winds are escaping from it). So what’s my point you wonder?

I want the obsession with monstrous tail to stop, AT ONCE!! You fellas will overlook an amazing woman just cause she doesn’t have a lard ass, that is insane!!! One lard ass does not a wife make, you remember that ya hear?! This does not mean I hate my ass or wish I had another, I believe in playing the hand you were dealt but it does mean that I wish people; men in particular would stop making something so pointless a big issue. An ass or rather the size of it should not be on the list of considerations for the person you would want to settle down with. I mean let’s imagine if women started saying “ I will not settle down with anyone packing less than 10 inches” man suffice it to say that about 98% of the worlds population of men would be single (boy I can’t help but think of the poor lad who humped the dickens outta my thigh thinking he was beatin the vagicat up……. po thang)

But seriously, toddler sized peens aside, be reasonable. Don’t cast aside a quality chick just cause she’s buttock deficient. Let’s get back to appreciating ass for its fundamental worth, getting the winds out of us and the poo in the toilet……