Celebrity Letter: Victoria Beckham

Dear Vicky, how are you doing lately? You are the flyest white chick in the game right now when it comes to fashion, but I'ma need you to eat a something. Lettuce doesn't count. Your neck reminds me of a chicken giblet and it looks like it hurts to hold up your head. I have a big head just like yours so little necks, big heads...well you can figure it out. You get that lollipop steeze. A few pounds might make you feel better, you'll fill out your fly gear and be able to "Bend it like Beckam" with that fine ass husband. The skeletal swag is not the ish, trust. I keep hearing about this place on the West Coast called "In-N-Out Burger" get there, stat!