Ask A Dude©: I TEXT TO SHOW MY LOVE, BABY!

Chick's Dilemma: A guy recently said to a college educated and smart broad (I stress both, because the two don't always go hand in hand! Real Talk Wednesday) and I quote "The fact that I don't call you, has no bearing on me trying to get to know you- or date you.. I text you all the time."

Now the chick in question does not believe this malarkey...but in the interest in fairness, could it be possible that you DON'T have to call someone to show them that you are liking on them?
Dudes, What say you?

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SUpreme: This one may be a generational gap, so it depends on the age of the guy. Over 30 - I say it sounds like bullcrap. Under? Hell, these cats do everything via texting and IMing nowadays! Seems like no one *actually* talks any more, unless it's with family! Personally - I have no idea how one gets to know another without actually talking to them and spending time with them. I'm not much for spending long amounts of time on the phone with people I don't know that well, so I basically use the phone call to talk for a bit and arrange some time to actually SEE each other to get to know one another. But like I said - nowadays, cats make relationships on Twitter and Facebook! These young'uns got the game all f'd up.

Wrapping it up - depends on the age of the guy, or the level of maturity his brain is at. If both are over 30, then don't believe the hype. And even if his excuse did hold validity, do you really want to be with a guy who thinks texting is a proper way to get to know someone/keep in contact with them? Sounds like a LAME to me...

Gross Dude: Text Messaging is the Devil. Sadly...its become a very convenient means of communication. Who needs to speak... people don't have time to be on the phone 3-4 hours everyday. Text convos can transpire all day at  nice even keel pace...some people communicate better in writing.. I know EVERYONE is going to say.. that's a punk way out, how u going to get to know someone by texting, you can't get to know anyone.. blah, blah, blah. But hell.... Its just the way of the world now...it works for some.. very, very well. Especially if you are serial dating... you can hold 3-4-5 convos at once..without anyone monopolizing your minutes with idle irrelevant phone chatter. LOL.. (I swear this guy makes me want to scrub myself down like a Chernobyl victim.)

BIG IN EUROPE: HA HA.. HA HA... HAAAAAAAAAAA.... Whooooo! Okay. Wait wait wait... (heavy breathing) that's... That's just... Juvenile.What is this dude, like 12? Even I, being a person that HATES talking on the phone beyond, "Okay, I'm coming to get you..." or "Meet me at (place)..." or "Where's the (Add appropriate gathering reason, ie. Wedding, funeral, family reunion, etc.) going to be...", knows that when you first meet someone, you HAVE to take the time out to find out who it is that you're trying to stick your penis in. After you know the person a lil bit, say a couple months, then you can start with the texting. Just kidding. Nah, but...Texting lacks the ability to hear intonations, inflections, and sarcasm. It's like talking to a robot that has become self-aware. If he don't wanna dedicate the time to talk to you on the phone, drop his ass, and keep it moving. If he doesn't have time to talk to you, what else won't he have time for?

ASK A CASH, HENCEFORTH KNOW AS....THE CASHER!:

Ahhh...the infamous "technological relationship". I'll give you two possibilities to this one. 1.) Men aren't natural talkers. Getting me to stay on the phone longer than...15 minutes at the MAX, is special. For women (and I'm generalizing, so please take no offense), you can go an hour or two without missing a beat. Text conversations allow you time to think about what it is you want to say, without the pressure of an immediate response. So for your average "non-talker", he may find this easier than trying to formulate an actual dialog with a women. To that point, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt. If you know your man can barely put together a complete sentence without saying "ya now what I'm sayin" or "ya na mean", then maybe you need to encourage more text and not less text (just make sure he spells correctly. Technology is cool, but good ol fashion ANGLISH should be standard). We lazy "dan a mug"! Technology allows men to be lazy and a lot of us missed out on all the essentials of how to court a woman because of it. We forgot that there's a comfort in our voice that women like to hear (unless you sound like Mike Tyson). Actual conversation is a practiced art, and the reason why so many women would rather talk to their girlfriends than speak to a man. So it may be a matter of he just wouldn't know what to say to you if he didn't take his time to text. Either way, conversation needs to be developed.

2.) When we text, we "GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT"! There's nothing like being on the phone with a women and she's just talking a hole in your head about stuff that you probably could care less about. We want to tell you to STFU sooooooo bad, but don't want to hurt your feelings. Trust me, EVERY MAN can testify to that. And if you ask a man after reading this and he says "I've never wanted to say that to a women", than that women is YOU! So text allows us to get straight to the point without all the extra flip-flop and yacky-yack.

Or maybe that brother's broke and can't afford for you to be draining all his minutes of his cell phone plan! Lol, nonetheless, don't be so hard on the brother for "keeping up with the times". But still encourage some phone time. Make a deal with him: Allow the text, but set aside at least 20 minutes of phone time. Once he starts the "practice" of dialog, he'll call you more.

BIANCA SEZ:  Personally I am not a phone kind of a chick, even my girlfriends will tell you that I bumrush them off the phone (so easy on the stereotypes fellas!), never one for idle chatter. STATE YOUR BUSINESS AND GET OFF MY PHONE PEOPLE. But, if you don't like the way a person is courting you, it seems even the Dudes agree, you have the right to tell him to take his texting thumbs and shove them up his arse!

Brew Chicks (or Fellas- we don't judge) if you have any problem you'd like the male perspective on, please email us at witchesbrewamdin@gmail.com