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Witches' Brew: Ask A Dude©: The 4000 Cent Question

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Ask A Dude©: The 4000 Cent Question

So... This week, the formerly fine D'Angelo got arrested trying to get some 4000 penny ($40,Mad 3rd grade math conversion skillz, yo!) head. Would you ever pay for brain?

And as long as you are at the Proddy-toot stand, would you ever let the dude in the dress give you the mouth bidness?

I mean as the jail saying goes: "A mouth is a mouth!'



BIG IN EUROPE: Well, in essence, we are paying for poon, be it directly or indirectly; be it mentally, monetarily, or in good ole blood, sweat and tears. But, if the question is, "Would I pay a hooker, harlot, lady of the evening, concubine, strumpet, harlot, jezebel, or any of the other turn of the century colloquialisms I can think of to not call a hooker a whore", Then that answer is NO. Emphatically NO. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
And, as for the dude mouth question, I will just take it that collectively, the proprietors of Witches Brew Blog, must have bumped their motherfuckin heads. I will pretend to no have been tried. Real hard I will try to not feel tried.

Big in Europe is Big in EUROPE but only when Europe is a woman. Y'understand?
Bianca: *sigh* I hate these guys..

SUpreme: I treat this situation like Seven Up - I never have, and never will... (***Bianca: I guess he's a Sprite guy? )
I ain't payin' for ISH. You have to be a pretty pathetic dude to go trolling the streets for random AIDS carriers to put mouth to penis. I can't relate - I don't think this way, and don't congregate with those who do. Paying for ANY type of sexual involvement is against my genetic code.
And as for the second part of your question - um, save that for the Karamo Negroes/Andrew Cunanan-types of the world. Homey don't PLAY THAT.

THE CASHER: Hell no, I ain't paying! No man should have to pay when there are plenty of women that would do it for free. Find one that loves it more than brushing her teeth, and save your money. And ladies, if you're one of those women who don't, or don't think she should be doing it, you probably have cobwebs on your kitten, and are wondering why you can't keep your man. I can think of at least five days when you should be practicing until you perfect it so much that your whistles are heard within a five mile radius.

And as far as dudes, f*ck no! Not enough drugs in the world could make me go there.

REV REAL: Negative. You know my answer to this, son!

Bianca: Siiiigh, his answer to this is a real long drawn out 'NO' that involves a former married(to a woman) pastor who would stare at the Reverend Real Pant Bulge and lick his lips as he twirled his porn 'stache. He even gave him the 'a mouth is just a mouth' line. He will only say it was not THIS GUY. Which woulda been kinda cool. Our dear Realest Rev told him to go heal himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, and such is history. And apparently the Rev was too busy being hot man-candy Rev bait, to type this all out for you all and made me do it. (Virtually glaring at the Rev).

PHLIP: No, I would NEVER pay for any act of sex. Not in a world where there exists so much available for free.And HELL no I would never let anyone who MIGHT look like a dude near my member.
Bianca: But what if it looked like hot chick who just happened to be a dude? Hmm?? What then? WHAT THEN!!?!

Please welcome Our Newest Dude:

REGGIE DA BLOGGER: ( check him and his twisted mind out at his blog): Absolutely not!!! Okay okay.....let me qualify that. I'm not old enough and fat enough and ugly enough to have to start paying for that-- just yet. I know I joke around a lot and there are times that I allow my sense of humor to get the best of me..........but I draw the line here; and as much as I do so love to have my good old Alabama black snake mouthified, a man can't do it for me. Who'll know? I'll know. Once a man crosses that line........he can't step back over it as if it didn't happen. I know men that probably wouldn't care and it's because of them that the perceptions of so many "downlow brothers" being out there persists. While it is what it is, it wouldn't be Reggie.

GROSS DUDE: First of all a mouth is not JUST a mouth! That's some bullisht! That said, I have paid for many blowjobs.. you think those dinners were free!! Those movies? All that gas money and tolls, just to get some head. Hell, at least the prostitutes cut out all the bullshit.. just here..take the money! I don't have to feed you, talk to you, spend time with you.... I just want head so I can go home and drink beer and watch TV.

OK..I'm kidding...sorta.

Personally, I'm wondering how Proddytootion got to be the Oldest Profession, with everyone claiming they 'never would'.
Somebody is going to these ladies and lady-dudes of the evening. #justsaying
So, what's your call? Brewchies, could you date a man who confessed to paying for orals and/ or getting head by his 'drunk' college roomie, Steve? Does it even matter?

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At Wednesday, March 10, 2010 at 11:25:00 AM EST , Blogger Phlip said...

To answer:
"Bianca: But what if it looked like hot chick who just happened to be a dude? Hmm?? What then? WHAT THEN!!?!"

I would answer your question with an analogy to The Crying Game... When Fergus found that Dil had a wang and only bruised his face, Dil should not have lived to be able to tie him to a bed later on in the movie. Not if I was writing it.
Yes, the violent throwing up would have taken place, but it would have come just before the possibility of my first felony charges.

At Wednesday, March 10, 2010 at 12:01:00 PM EST , Blogger BreeIAm said...

AWWW So mean.

At Wednesday, March 10, 2010 at 12:59:00 PM EST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw The Crying Game.....I wouldn't want to be in the sequel.


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