Things Negroes Like: ¡Viva México!

Pass the guac, it's Cinco de Mayo snitches! And in honor of this great holiday south of the border, let's switch it up a bit! I present to you, Things Mexicans Like (many of the Negroes like these things as well, so don't hate).


Toddler Socks With Ruffles

Now, this is cute on Easter when you’re like 3 years old. It’s not so cute at the grocery store or in the Kindergarten sandbox. Please know when to dust off your fineries and when to leave them in the drawer. There’s a time and place for everything.

Strollers With Plastic Covers

Did you give birth the boy in the bubble? Are you protecting the kid from swine flu (Note: I don’t blame you for this “epidemic” my Mexican friends, I really don’t!)? Is the kid being protected from the paparazzi? Why do you need this contraption? In my day, Moms just tossed me in a blanket, threw me in the stroller and commenced to pushing. Kids these days…I swear.

5 Seaters That Hold 8

I don’t even need to explain this one. You’ve seen it and marveled at the stacking science. Moving on…

Dark 'Chola' Makeup

You deserve 2 tickets and should report to jail immediately for mangling your lips like this. And yes, if you draw your surprised eyebrows on too, then that's 2 more tickets. I know sistas who won't abandon this lip liner look either. I'm issuing 2 tickets to them too! And a cerveza (hey, it’s a holiday… I do have some compassion).

Until next week (if this job doesn’t kill me first)… enjoy a good burrito! Arrribbbbbba!