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Witches' Brew: Brew Dating Woes: "A Happy Ending Would Be Great"......

Monday, April 5, 2010

Brew Dating Woes: "A Happy Ending Would Be Great"......

Ok so I went on date# 5,789 on Saturday night with a seemingly nice fella. We spoke briefly on the phone during the day to firm up our plans then decided on the place we would meet. So, we get there at the same time, park next to each other and go inside (awww, how cute right?). I wanted to see the Duke/WV game and he did too so we find two good seats in front of the TV at the bar and so the date commences. Well, then things get really really strange. He’s a tall guy, about 6’5 so I imagine that tight spaces make him feel umcomfy so instead of sitting next to me he chooses to stand. Ok fine, no biggie until he slowly drifts to a space behind me and is no longer beside me, Hmmmm now this is getting weird, aren’t we on a date??? Ok so I’m not totally thrown and as always I’m the life of the bar talking to everyone and having a good time (even making googly eyes at a really cute boy who looked like Al B. Sure…….)

But then here’s where it got super weird, I hear him on the phone telling whomever he’s talking to his whereabouts, I make no assumptions just thought it was weird. Well about 15 minutes after that his friends start showing up one by one. He takes the time to introduce them to me and then goes right back into weirdo mode. Ok so clearly this is no longer a date because a grown man in his 30's doesn't invite his boys on his date right? I mean I've dated 23 year olds who wouldn't do this. But anyway as it turns out I absolutely love his friends and they love me back! I mean I’m actually relieved they showed up cause I sadly began to realize that I only agreed to the date cause he was tall and in the DMV area tall dudes are hard to come by, but his personality was a total mismatch for me. So one friend is even like “yo does he know how great you are? What is wrong with him? Why is he over there and I’m over here with you?”

Dude, beats me! I have no idea. But just when you think this date can’t get any weirder the tall boring dude and I leave, he walks me to my car, gets in with me, looks creepily and seductively in my eyes and proceeds to say “yeah so a happy ending would be great”. EXCUSE ME SIR!!!!???? You want me to wank your chicken???? Is you serious???? I mean I didn’t even order from the peen sucking side of the bar menu! Why would I give you such a treat??? And what a strange request from someone you pretty muched ignored the entire night, did word get out?? Is my name in bathroom stalls nationwide advertising my talents??? WTF!

*sigh* Still, the dummy in me will go on more dates, I refuse to give up……….

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3 Comments:

At Monday, April 5, 2010 at 5:12:00 PM EDT , Blogger Reggie said...

Okay so what exactly is the peen sucking side of the bar menu?!?

Please do tell............and also, what did you do when he said that?!?

 
At Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 12:04:00 AM EDT , Blogger DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

Classic line = "Peen sucking side of the menu"... woooow

maybe he wanted the j.o special...

 
At Monday, April 26, 2010 at 4:13:00 PM EDT , Anonymous Dating said...

Why is he over there and I’m over here with you?

 

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