Brewmail: Gladiator Sandals

Dear Witches,

I have to talk about something that bothers me to my core. So without further ado, let me tell you why I'm mad son!

Ladies, I'm talking about these ugly a$ jesus sandals ya'll have been rockin the past couple of summers....WTF!!!!! I don't know what they're called, but ya'll know good and gotdam well what I'm talking about. These have got to be the worst pair of shoes that ya'll started wearing since those karate shoes ya'll was wearing back in the late 90's and early 2000. I don't get much into women's fashion because 90% of the time ya'll are looking great....but these shoes just kill the appeal for the fellas.

Fellas, have you ever seen a dime youngin with their hair looking good, nice looking dress or short outfit (sexy a$ legs exposed), toes done up nicely, with some F*CKIN gladiator shoes on?!?!?! This shyt immediately drops them to a 5...I'm sorry! Not only does this look tacky, but it does nothing for your booty....which is what some fellas look at first anyway. These shoes actually make your a$ look worse. Buffy would have a flat a$ in the gladiator shoes. When I see shyt like this, I just want to toss a broad a sword. I don't care how comfy these shoes may be, the SHYT AINT CUTE BOO BOO!!

Personally ladies, I like it when you wear heels. But I do understand you want to be comfortable sometimes, but can't you just throw on some tennis shoes or some other kind of flat shoes??? Them shyts right there are not working. Then some of ya'll have the nerve to get the ones that wrap all the way up your leg; or you decide to get fancy with it and get some patent leather bullshyts. I don't care how you try to dress these shoes up, there is no occasion where you can wear these shoes, unless you plan to fight someone in a sand pit.

I'll be honest, I'm no kind of fashion genius or anything. I can't spot a fake purse or some knock off sunglasses. BUT I do know when you're wearing a weave, and I damn sure know those Julius Caesar shoes gotta go!!

OUT

Thanks for the email. I personally own a similar style but they have a heel because I just can't feel my swagger in flats...what do you think?