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Witches' Brew

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Something for the Others...

Just because you are not sporting a disaster weave, you are not exempt from hair tragedy.

Here are some rules to start thinking about, to get your 'wig' tight:

1. Hair should not be sheer. If your entire head of hair looks like ‘baby hair’... it is probably falling out, so do us a favor, and cut it, cease all chemical operations and continue to keep up regular trims. We have an issue with holding on to our locks because men like ‘long hair’. And let Ms. Meriweather -P.BD.H.O. be the first to tell you- girl it’s not long, it’s a damaged thin scraggly mess. All it does is make you lack style and polish. Go on, you can thank me later. Men like hot women, period. So, step up your all-around game - that makes you a hot piece.

2. Old school heavy moisturizers are OVER. I personally want to come to everyone’s house and steal their Pink Lotion. I will then have a Pink Lotion bonfire that will probably produce a 80’s style mushroom hairdon’t shaped cloud. If you have been using it since 8th grade, it’s time for a change. Find a LIGHTER hair moisturizer that works with your texture. Your stylist can recommend a perfect one for your budget and texture, talk to her/him. (If not, see 3.)

<----El Diablo

Instead of greasy products, try water based pomades or a shea based mosturizer to style over styled ends. The Ujon line has an excellent styling cream, that's light emollient and smells yummy.

3. Girl, get your ass to a salon! Find a reputable stylist in your town, who will not lye you and fry you. Interview your stylist before you even let her put a scissor, or God forbid- chemical to your hair. A reputable stylist will refuse to do any chemical treatment if it will further damage your already shaky tresses. A PROFESSIONAL LICENSED HAIR STYLIST, Not your friend Yo-Yo or your cousin Ravon. Unless she has a clientele- that meets her outside of her damn kitchen, she is playing ‘hair’ and playing you. Ask around, ask a girl on the street with gorgeous hair who hooks her up. She'll more than likely love to help her stylist get business.

4. CONDITION! CONDITION! CONDITION! Save your money on shampoo, and invest in a good conditioner. A good conditioner costs at least 3x the amount of your shampoo. That’s just the facts. Sorry kids, drugstore conditioners are ganking you. Slather your hair with a deep conditioner, throw a scarf and baseball cap on, and wear it for your work out, it’s a serious hot treatment. General rule of thumb, buy products that say ‘Mosturizing’ or for Dry and Damaged hair, this will save you time adding the moisture aka grease on a daily basis. Aveda and Redken make really great moisturizing conditioners that smell amazing.
Redken’s Smooth Down line and Aveda’s new Dry Remedy line are FABULOUS!
For the naturally kinky-curly crew the mixed chicks line is like buttah!

4. EAT! Healthy food choices make for healthy hair, skin and nails. Omega 3 rich foods and lots of veggies, should be the norm. I know you know this- now do it! No one ever looked amazing on a steady diet of fried foods and processed meats. And seriously, drink your water, skin and hair should not be a bizarre shade of gray.

5. Upkeep! Okay look- we have all been there- life is exhausting. I don’t care how tired you are, no one should have to be assaulted by your bad hair. If you have braids, take care of them! Heffa, if your braid no longer sits in the same vicinity as your scalp, it’s time to get them re-done. Seriously, that bird’s nest on your head is telling people that you don’t think enough of yourself to care. So why should they care about you?

6. Stop kidding yourselves. Your texture is your texture. Work with what you have and stop wasting time fighting against it, that's what makes a woman beautiful. (Lord, I think someone put on some india.arie in here...)

I Love you bitches!

Ms. M.P.B.D.H.O



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