BET Awards: Performances

11:35pm
Ne-yo and Jamie Foxx (*again*) singing, "I'll Be There"...this was a nice way to end the show. Should it have followed, "Always Strapped?" Um, no...but hey somethings are our of our control. Next up Jamie & Ne-Yo Collaboration, "Best of Both Worlds: We Run BET".

11:25pm
Drake singing "Best I Ever Had"...wearing a Kanye college dropout collection sweater. Bringing light-skinned back again. No chains, just a beaded necklace, nice style. He has a thick ass neck. I like that he's not all jumping around on stage...uh oh, cue the prayin mantis, Weezy F. Makedembabies. Dang, can't hear half the song because of sensors. We know the words BET, now you want to sensor? Hold up. Rapper dude with a hot leather jacket, dude with a lumberjack. Lots of confusion on this stage. Hold it down Drake. They are going to have to throw away Weezy's mic after this performance because it cannot be used again...ever! I liked that they brought all types of girls on the stage not just LSLH. Cue Baby on stage.. it's taking a turn for the worse..rapping "Always Strapped" Did they really just say "Rest in Peace MJ" then say the N-word in the next sentence? Really? Gonna have to throw Baby's mic away too. This is pure ass!

11:15pm
I'm awake now....MAXWELL!!!! Singing "Pretty Wings"..still a cutie, wish he grew his hair long again. Just him and smoke on stage. He really doesn't need anything else. This is a nice song. Confetti fallin' are these "wings"? Nice effect, 'cept they keep hittin' him in his dome. Couple of spins. That's some grown man ish right dere Maxi! Paid homage to MJ at the end. Yes!!!! 10 out of 10. Let's put this puppy to bed...please.

10:33pm
The O'Jays -- "Let Me Make Love To You"..okay I can't really talk about the O'Jays because old folks are off limits. Eddie can do no wrong anyway. Bless his heart. Next!

10:15pm
Tevin Campbell "Forever Mine" wow...he looks road hard and hung up wet. Poor thing. He still sounds better than a lot of the other acts tonight. He's got that blunt smokin' lips. Stepping from side to side. I guess that's all we're going to get huh TC? He's only on for a quick minute before he introduces Trey Songs, Tyrese, Johnny Gill. I guess he's in the bathroom smoking by now. They're singing "Backstabbers". All dressed in all black. I'm confused. Isn't this supposed to be about Mike? WTF are you singing the O-Jays? Is there some connection that I'm missing? They sound okay. Johnny Gill mushes his lips together like an old man who wants more jello.

10:00pm
Jay-Z, "Death to Autotune"...okay must admit I'm biased about this because this is my husband in my mind. He shut it down very simple. Not brewchies dancing, no hype man, just him bringin' it. B was on stage getting her award when Jamie escorted her back to her seat instead of her walking off to the back. He told her something exciting was about to happen and that's when Jay popped on stage. I was wondering where we was. 10 out of 10. This show can end now.

9:45pm
Keyshia Cole & Monica -- Singing, "When Hoodrats Attack"....just kidding. Singing whatever their new song is. Monica is full dominatrix gear and Keshia in a hotpink picnic outfit. Um, they're both talented..and need to stroll down a different musical road. I'm not feeling this. Standing at the top of some steps? For what? Oh, I get it, the stage is rotating. Wowzer! Keyshia legs look like yellow pixie sticks.

9:43pm
Ciara - I think. Gag me with a hot poker. Singing "Heal the World"...someone heal her voice, stat! Glad they kept that one short.
Next!

9:34pm
BBD singing "Poison" .....um yes, I could use some right about now. All the old heads in the crowd are trying to do the wrecks 'n effect. This song is still the shyt though. Ronnie still looks the same. Here come the Brewchies. Actually this performance isn't that bad. It has some energy. Please don't ask the crowd to sing along, clearly they're not. Why are you back on the stage Ne-Yo?

9:32pm
Keeping with the old man in the club theme...Here comes Aaron Hall singing "I Like"....pass the tea and honey to his ass cuz he sounds like he swallowed a hair ball from Rick Ross' beard. No LeBron isn't doing the "shake and bake" to this.

9:31pm
Old man in the club sighting number #7 Keith Sweat and his whiny ass singing "I Wanna". He sounds like ass. Shiny suit and S-curl in effect. Holding his imagination. Who is the little Buckwheat lookin' dude on stage with him? This sucks.

9:27pm
Negro Vu? Nope, it's Jamie Foxx...again. This time he's with Ne-yo so I'll forgive his frequent performances. Now he's at a piano. This dude is a freakin' Prince tonight. They're singing "Independent" remix. Love this song. Again with the ass and the smoke! Ballet? Really? No more gloves people, seriously. Neyo has a red ones. Fabo with a puffy vest making me hot. This is boring....zzzzzzzzz...

9:14pm
Mary Mary - singing "God in Me". I noticed not a lot of people standing on this one. Heathens!!!! Queen Latifah with the long weave rapping, very nice. I like this song and I can't talk about another Christian on a Sunday. Next!

9:00pm
Uh oh -- B's in the house, cue fan machine. Singing Ave Maria..wait is someone getting married? Wonder woman get up. That's still my girl and at least she can sang like the good Creole she is. Uh oh. They're giving her sea amoeba for a skirt. It looks like a placebo. What was the point? Ummmm, I do like this B, not feeling this one bit..now she's singing that background song for the third world pet adoption commercial. I've got the sads. Where's the razor? Geeze, can you end on Freakum dress? Now it's snowing. This is eerie as fuck. This is over their heads B. The crowd is probably like Ava who? Who dat?

8:47pm
Soujah Boy Tell Em -- not even sure if I spelled his name right, who gives a fuck. Rapping "Turn My Swag On". What is this low-budget special effect bullshyt? Is that a leather vest? No sir. He took off his vest and lumberjacket. Bird chest. Pants hangin off his ass. Stupid ass. He looks 12 1/2. Camera man can you stop fast zooming, you're making me dizzy as hell. All that zooming and his jumping is not the biz. Uh oh, the porch monkey's off the porch. He's in the crowd, gave Kanye dap. Back on stage and ran off. I give him a 2 1/2.

8:36
Jamie Foxx --Singing "Blame It"...came out in all white sweat suit, MJ shirt, brewchies in the background, shameless plug...album cover on a big as bottle of champagne. Lots of smoke and ass. Tyra Banks knows the words to this? WTF? Kayne and his video ho enjoy this song too? Here come the minstrel show that is Snopp wearing a hot ass leather down to his knees. Jamie's a little boring on stage. Here comes T-Pain running up the aisle with his BIG ASS CHAIN. He's sporting a Rick Ross stinky beady beard. I know those mics smell like death and ass. All Shyt!!! Travis Baker is on the drums??!!!! It's about to get stupid now. He's dope. Jamie has a guitar. He really thinks he's a rock star. Didn't Jay do this already?

8:27
Ne-yo -- Singing "Lady in My Life" sans hat. Egghead need steze but that boy can blow...er...sing! I like Ne-yo ever ever since he told that chubby girl who liked cake that she should lose a few because the biz was shallow as hell. He keeps it real. Back to his noggin, it's big and I can't concentrate. Kept it short and sweet. Goodbye!

8:22pm
Keri Hilson -- She came out on a motorcycle complete with a smoke machine. Rihanna "Bad Girl" steze. Starting singing "Turing me on" then "Knock You Down" , white glittery Michael Jackson socks, cuffed jeans, just surfed into the crowd, that was kind of hot but what if they let her drop? Her outfit is a little plain though. Whole set is tough girl "West Side Story" lookin'....reeks of dykeness...hmmmmm. She's taking off her jacket, doing a little MJ tribute, cute but uhhhh ohhhh she's going rogue, asking the crowd to repeat "when it comes around..." (*crickets*) I'll give her 5 Brews out of 10.


8:00
New Edition MJ Tribute -- Oh yeah!!! Old men in the club unite! Started singing "Oh Baby Give Me One More Chance". Their moves are nice, segued into "ABC". Good opening of the show, but these mofos were probably fighting like hell until the curtains rose. Bobbayyyyyyy, your mouf is still crooked. Still good to see them all together. I used to love Ralph. He's looking a little skeletor like. Struggling on some of the notes. I think they're getting winded...

7:57
Day 26 -- Singing "I'm A Put It On Her"....no I'm a turn this off. I can't really say anything bad about these dudes.. Well yes I can. I guess corny nerd glasses are the theme because Mike is looking really "what you talkin' about Willis" with his. Why is Rocsi's accent so freak fake? Que is rocking one glove with his bitchass. Uh, they cut them off, fade to black, show time!

7:45pm
Jeremih singing "Birthday Sex" if these pre-show minstrel acts are any indication of how the show is going to go then we are in trouble...trouble. Again with the backup dancers? I'm mean damn, straight from the stroll to the stage. People please!

7:30pm
Pleasure P -- Coonin' to "Boyfriend Number 2". What is with the twin backup dancers theme? Their jumpsuits are hot though. Uh oh, he's giving a shout out to MJ, while singing that shitastical song? Um, no sir!!!

7:20pm
First up -- LeToya Luckett. I really like this chick because she refuses to bow dow to the Beyonce's machine. But her performance during the pre-show, not so much. LeToya sang "Not Anymore" and I wasn't feeling the sub-par dance routine or her twin backup brewchies at all. She's hot though, no denying that. There's just really no room for her in this "Beyonce-Rihanna world" as Charlemagne put it.