Pupil Service Announcement

I must speak out on some Brewshyt that is taking place in communities and hoods everywhere: color contacts! THEY. MAKE. ME . ITCH! I understand it's not as common for coloreds to have pretty pupils but Brewchies please refrain from this practice stat! We oftentimes equate lighter colored eyes with the European standard of beauty that has been forced down our throats for centuries. Stop it and claim your original eye color. The eyes are the windows to the soul, so why ya'll tinting the windows? If White Jesus wanted you to have Rihanna peepers, guess what? You would of had them! Now I don't expect everyone to quit cold turkey, Negrids are hard headed to say the least and some of you have been rocking them so long, you've convinced people that they're your real eyes. Nevermind you had dark brown eyes in your second grade class picture, you swore they starting turning hazel in third grade. If we witches cannot convince you to part with your plastic peepers at least make sure they match your skin tone.