"Celebrity" Love Letter: Cast of MTV's Jersey Shore

Dear Cast Of MTV's Jersey Shore,

I love you. There, I said it. I love your orange skin, your douchy hair gel, your bad hair accessories from 1985. I love you. I love you, you pasta eating-- for no good reason (it's JUNE for chrissake-- seriously!?), Protein Powder addicted, gotta kiss your entire family before you leave the house, packing your clothes in garbage bags, 'maybe you'll be hot in 5-10 lb', Party is In Pauly D's pants, fist pumping to techno music, Guido, Guidette, my boyfriend has a wife, tragic hair extensions, seriously delusional asses.

I sat through 2 hours of your show this weekend that seemed to fly by in10 minutes.

You complete me.

Some schmucks says you're a bad example of Italian culture? Eh, baloney! You are like the Italian version of the 'cousins' we uppity Negros disassociate with (Nefe and Frankie ring a bell), but are STILL LESS embarrassing (hey at least there is no procreating going on!).

I will gladly trade your SITUATION for ours, any day!

Now, granted NONE of my Italian friends act like this or are the color of circus peanuts
or even have festive nicknames like low budget action/porn stars ... and gotta say, I feel kinda cheated. Like they get super fun, when I leave the room. Bitches.

In conclusion, Snooki- you ARE better than The Hills! I agree!!

CIAO, FRANCESCO RENALDI! (I took French in h.s., my bad)