Cornball Corner: Paul Shirley

"When the grass is cut, the snakes will show"... So for this next story, let's say the grass is Haiti and the snakes, well, take your pick: Pat Robertson, Rush Lim-fat-baugh and now former NBA benchwarmer Paul Shirley. Shirley, whose brief (and I mean brief) NBA career (18 games and 33 points), is not feeling Haiti at all. He blogged on Flip Collective why he won't be pitching any of his pennies to help: "I haven't donated a cent to the Haitian relief effort. And I probably will not. I haven't donated to the Haitian relief effort for the same reason that I don't give money to homeless men on the street. Based on past experiences, I don't think the guy with the sign that reads "Need You're Help" is going to do anything constructive with the dollar I might give him. If I use history as my guide, I don't think the people of Haiti will do much with my money either.... Shouldn't much of the responsibility for the disaster lie with the victims of that disaster?"

(*crickets chirping*) But wait...it gets worse better. The former Iowa standout also wrote a ficticious letter to the earthquake victims:

Dear Haitians –


First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.


As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it's possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?


Sincerely,


The Rest of the World

(*Picks bottom lip off floor*) ESPN fired Shirley from his freelance gig. So I guess this solves Shirley's problem of whether to donate since he's pockets just took a bit fat hit!

Paul Shirley you are sitting in the Brew's Cornball Corner, permanently!