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Witches' Brew: Think You Might Be a Douchebag??? Facebook Will Let You Know.........

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Think You Might Be a Douchebag??? Facebook Will Let You Know.........

Facebook, facebook,facebook, great tool isn’t it? It’s like the super quick, easy way to stay connected to your homies without having to actually reach out to each and every one of them individually, who the hell has time for that anyway right? But as much as we love Facebook , it can certainly be a tool of destruction when used as such. It’s what I like to call ‘facebook shade”. With facebook, the he said, she said gossip that used to wreck havoc on many a friendship is now out the door, now you can get your feelings all hurt up electronically, via the innawebs, and there’s no better way to shut a mofo down whether blatant or subliminal than via Facebook. As a person who reads emails with the senders tone in mind ( I can see eye rolling and neck snapping in emails, fa real! I really can!) , I pretty much consider myself an expert at deciphering innaweb shade.

Some ways to know you are not well liked in your cipher include but are not limited to the following:

You post pictures of your baby……… no one comments


You post pictures of your wedding……… no one comments



You post bikini pics………… no one comments




You log on after a holiday weekend, like let’s say after Memorial Day and see that all your core friends are posting pics and tagging each other in pics from their weekend in Cancun……….. sucks to be you



People always forget to tag you in pics………

You use facebook to invite everyone to your graduation……….. the only ‘yes’ is from the produce dude from your neighborhood grocery store…….. ouch!

Your friends use your most intimate secrets as status updates, “Monique Wilson wishes her friend would use more discretion and stop sleeping with every loser that crosses her path, or at least clear up that lice problem first, what a hoebag!” ……….. damn!



No one ever comments on your status updates, straight crickets……….. Every time

You call your friends and instead of them calling you back ,they respond on your wall, “hey you called me last month? What up?!”………… yikes!

None of your high school friends will accept your friend requests, not even the girl who used to stick her finger in her booty and smell it afterward.......



You find out all your friends major life happenings via facebook pics from events that you sooooo never got invited to

These are just a few, I’m sure everyone has their own. If any of these have happened to you, it’s all good! They happen to all of us, Facebook shade is real people, protect ya neck!

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