The Witches' Brew blog

has been moved to new address

Sorry for inconvenience... but join us at our new spot!

Witches' Brew: Facebook.... Thumbs Up or Down????

Monday, April 20, 2009

Facebook.... Thumbs Up or Down????

Are you happy you reconnected with peeps from your past via facebook? If it's true that some friendships aren't meant to last forever, what do you do when you log into facebook and have a friend request from such a friend? Me personally I let that mug sit in facebook purgatory (meaning I ignore the shit outta that request). If we were once friends, lovers, heavy petters or anything that involved a part of your body on mine and we stopped speaking, why come you wanna be my facebook friend??? You just wanna be nosey is all. You wanna see my pics, assess my weight, my hair, my new man or whatever other goings on you can ascertain by having access to my full profile. If we ended our friendship on bad terms, assume that we are still on bad terms. No amount of bandwitdth is gonna make me change my mind about talking to your ass again. And don't bother hitting me with "girl I don't even remember why we stopped speaking!" Well I remember motherforker! I have a memory like you wouldn't believe (ask my best bud, she calls me for phone #'s from our youth!) and I hold a grudge like a mug! So no you cannot be my facebook friend! Go play in traffic old friend....

I think now is as good a time as any to establish the top 10 things that irk us facebookers:
(We'll go in order from least annoying trend to most annoying)

10. Do not post a comment to my status on my wall! Gosh I hate that, I like to keep my shit organized and this just fugs up the flow. POST IT UNDER MY STATUS!

9. If you are dry and were born without a funny bone, please go immediately to and purchase one at once! Facebook is primarily supposed to be fun, don't nobody got time to be explaining jokes to your slow ass.

8. Stop clicking the 'like' button haphazardly. Do you really like everything? like seriously? Just cause a girl/guy is cute does not mean you have to 'like' every status message they post. Get off his/her tip! Quite frankly the shit is scary and it will not get you noticed.

7. Do no tag my pics cause you see someone you know, step the fug off with that bullshat!

6. Stop sending me hugs, vampires, midgets, titties, sexy black men, buffed white men, drinks, r&b singers, purses, wallets, easter eggs, #1b yaky weave hair, ghetto snacks and anything else virtually. Give me that shit fa real or step off!

5. STOP POKING ME!!! I don't understand the purpose of that shit. At first I thought it was something sexual and it used to infuriate me. I don't like mofos trying to poke me without buying me a meal, I DO NOT PLAY THAT SHIT!

4. Quit the lies! "girl you still look the same!" bitch please! we knew each other when we were 16 years old and I was 20 lbs lighter, ok 50lbs, ok 90 lbs!..... so you don't have to add unnecessary lies to our facebook reunion. I know I'm fine as wine, just keep the embellishment to a minimum, mmm kay?

3. Ok so you saw that we have a few mutual friends in common and we once glanced at each other in the bodega in our old neighborhood, are we now supposed to pretend that were friends???? "DENIED!" off to facebook friend request purgatory you go!

2. If we know each other cause we used to or are currently "doing the nasty" to each other, don't post suggestive shit on my wall so people know you've beaten it up! Come on now, how corny you wanna be here?! Anyone with half a brain knows that "girl you still got that mole on your labia?" means you might be acquainted with my love cookie. Stop that! it's very unsexy.

1. INVEST IN A MAC (cause it corrects your spelling as you type) OR JUST REFRAIN FROM LOGGING IN IF YOU CAN'T TIGHTEN THAT SPELLING UP! Now yes, facebook is fun, but that does not give you license to just shit on the English language with reckless abandon. It's shameful! mostly for me cause I'm left thinking "damn, I gave this illiterate fool the kitty?!, fug was I thinking?".



At Monday, April 20, 2009 at 11:41:00 AM EDT , Blogger Jem said...


People who use the status comment box to try to catch up with me, or worse, to catch up with someone else who's commented. Take that mess to THEIR wall or a private message!

At Monday, April 20, 2009 at 11:46:00 AM EDT , Blogger Cruz said...


At Monday, April 20, 2009 at 12:57:00 PM EDT , Blogger BreeIAm said...

Omg, that is my ultimate pet peeve!


Post a Comment

Add your thoughts to the mix...

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home