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Witches' Brew: Spring Cleaning Brew Style: #4, Girl, Bye!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Spring Cleaning Brew Style: #4, Girl, Bye!

We all have them, women or men in our lives that we call friends. But have they really earned that title? Now, time and again we can all get annoyed with even our besties. But what if you consistently leave a person feeling drained and disgusted? Guess what, they aint your friends.
Cut out that feminine need to people please at your own expense, being a victim is not cute.


You find yourself dreading their company. If you have to get your game face on to see your home girl, go get a bikini wax, file your toenail clippings, just do something else positive with your time.

If you KNOW they talk about you, because you talk about them... LIKE A DOG.

If they take joy in your misery and set up events where they can watch the show unfold. Not only is this beeyatch, not your friend.. you should probably punch her in her face. Just saying..

When they tell you they are going to date your ex boyfriend. I'm not talking about some dude you went for drinks with or 'dated' for 15 mins in college, but someone you had a full blown relationship with. This is not an episode of of 90210, furthermore Brenda should STILL kick Kelly's monkey ass for that bullshit... uh, sorry where was I?

Seriously, that's that BULLISHT!

When the thought of you possibly doing better than them in any fashion sends them into a tailspin. Have you ever told your 'friend' some great news... new promotion/job, you finally perfected your BJ technique, you got that wart removed, only to have her go off the friggen rails, at your happiness? ''OHHH NOOO, WHAT ABOUT MY WARRRTTT?'', this hose beast sobs.... "Now I have to get MYYY wart removed.'' The idea that you could possibly be walking around wart free, sends her into such a tizzy that she has to be soothed by you, and you can't even enjoy the fact that you are no longer Warty McForty! WTF?

You just don't like yourself when you are around this douchebag. You find yourself second guessing the hotness, awesomeness, and sheer 'the shit-ness' that is you, after a hour in she-bitches company. There is a problem. Never let anyone snatch your swagger. Damn, that!

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At Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 11:11:00 AM EDT , Blogger Cruz said...

You know I am a huge fan of "girl, bye!" LOL!

At Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 11:15:00 AM EDT , Blogger BreeIAm said...

It's become my favorite, as well!


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