Stop asking questions you really don't want an answer to..

"Do I look fat in this?" - "yes you look like a raving hippo, now go jog 180 miles large Marge!" (ladies please stop asking men this, I gaurantee you will get your feelings hurt each and every time)

"How many men have you had sex with?" - "Just you dickwad"

*after horrific sex* "When am I gonna see you again?" - "uh, I don't know, I think I'm sick, yeah that's it!, I'm sick for the next 40 years, I'll call you when I feel better "

"Did you really come?" - "um let's see, you just inserted your lil penis in the fat fold of my thigh, ask my thigh if it came, don't ask me"

"You like my cologne?" - "oohhh yes! who woulda thought the smell of fried fish and vagina melded together could smell so good on a man"

"Do I look better than your ex?" - "no, not even close, I gave up dating good looking men, that's why I'm with you"

"Can I have some of your fries?" - "DIE!!!!!!!"