Celebrity Letter: Early 90's Bobby Brown

Dear Early 90's Every Little Step You Take Bobby Brown,

Word of advice. You should probably take it easy on the partying. I know it can be tempting... people are probably tossing you giant bags of coke brought in on a whore's back on a daily basis.
But don't sniff it, shoot it or, smoke it, JUST SAY NO! Go to the studio and work on your craft (stage humping), or hell get your GED and go to Sanz school! Trust me.
Oh and when you meet this realllllly pretty lady from New Jersey who can sang her face off. Just give her a smile and go the other way. Seriously.

Oh don't believe me?

I want to show you something. If you continue on this misguided path as the 'king of r&b' (the all lower caps are quite intentional)...

This is you and what you can pull in 2009.

Totally fucked up, isn't it? You coulda stayed in Roxbury for this shit.