The Economy Needs Jesus

Pope Benedict XVI is calling on White Jesus to save the slumping economy. Bennie wants to form a "world political authority" to help keep the global economy on track and prevent future recessions. He's written a new encyclical called "Charity in Truth" that rejects capitalism and abuse of the global economic system.

The pope says every economic decision has a moral consequence. He wants to see wealth redistributed to help the poor. [Uh, didn't Jesus already say that?]

The idea isn't sitting well with economists and even some Catholics who think the church should butt out. But, the pope says he ain't feeling this free market too much. He says people with poor moral character have really screwed up this economy [okay, maybe he didn't say screwed, but you get it], so the economy needs some protectin'.

The pope is set to meet with President Obama at the Vatican on Friday. We hear the White House planned to give the pope a gold-plated antique Archbishop Don Magic Juan chalice but Obama will give him a stole instead. Good move Mr. Prez. Don't wanna flaunt ya riches in front of the pope, you know, while he's wearing those Prada shoes and all.