R. Kelly Wants The Vagicat To Cry!

41 year old pedophile producer, songwriter, singer extraordinaire R. Kelly is back with a new project. The new Gangsta Grillz mixtape features R-ah with DJ Skee & DJ Drama. It’s called The "Demo" Tape.

R-ah covers some of the more (ahem) popular songs currently playing on the radio: Jeremih’s “Birthday Sex”, Drake’s “Best I Ever Had” and he even does a little ditty to Young Money’s “Every Girl.” There are a few new tracks and some heavy auto-tunin’ on the new mixtape. Of course, there is what’s sure to become a pole establishment banger: “P.U.S.S.Y. Cry.” Yeah, I didn’t stutter. But I think I’m gonna puke though.

The folks over at AV Club have a hilarious (yet, sad) rundown of the 24 things R-ah wants to do on this new mixtape.

Here are the first 5:
1. To make the p-u-s-s-y cry (“P.U.S.S.Y. Cry”) – we’ve covered that
2. To give you a backrub, followed by a trip to the hot tub (“Birthday Sex”)
3. For people not to disrespect his shorty, since he likes her sex (“Disrespect My Shorty”)
4. To hit that big old [ass], even though his girl similarly has a big old [ass] (“Disrespect My Shorty”)
5. To have you scream “It hurts, it hurts!” then have you concede that his lovemaking quenches your thirst, your thirst (“Birthday Sex”)

It’s sad that the man who gave us Maxwell’s “Fortunate” and the King of Pop’s “You Are Not Alone,” now can only recite lines like “I’ma have her screaming ’til they call the security”? Shaking my head.

Apparently you can download this little gem of creation by clicking here, if you dare.