Triple Sow Cows and Ribs.....

In my next life I will be the world's first chunky ass figure skater. I will not be graceful or flexible, hell I probably won't even be able to skate that well let alone do a triple loop, sow cow or flip. I tell ya what though, I got heart!(or 'huurt ' for those on the west coast) and that my friends will propel me to the top of the ice skating world. Sure I'll be about 10 lbs overwieght, ok 20, ok 30, okay you forkin bastids 50 lbs overweight..... but I got heart like a mafugga! and plus I freakin love figure skating. I don't know what it is but I'm obsessed. Yes, in my next life I won't have hips, thighs , ass and most importantly I won't have bones ( I figured out that's how dem hoes be doin all that fancy shit)

Yes, I can see it now, me accepting my gold medal at the olympics and then my subsequent interview on "Real Sports" with Bryant Gumble where he'll ask, " so how do you think someone with your how do we say?......body challenges, managed to have such an amazing figure skating career?" and then I'll spit in his eye, put him in the headlock, slam him on the floor and yell, "WHERE THE RIBS AT BITCH??!!!!"