WTF Files: Why can't I quit you?

This reads like a bad "cuntry" song: A proud papa, who lives in a trailer park, forked over a whopping $200,000 for a "white" wedding for his 16-year-old daughter.

Missy Quinn married her 17-year-old groom 6 days after she celebrated her "Stank Sixteen". After stealing her viginity, Dad shelled out $32,000 for her wedding dress. It was studded with Swarovsky crystals and had a 10 ft. wide train. The dress was so heavy it took 10 people to help her out of their rented Rolls Royce Phantom. No flower bouquet for this classy bride...her bouquet was crystal-studded and cost $10,000. Did you see her belly ring? It matches her shoes, nice!

The bride hasn't seen the inside of a classroom since she was nine. Her goal is to become a fashion model (Rock of Love bus ho). Guests rocked their most impressive outfits. Check out these little jail baters, ready to party!

And, what in the easter egg colored Bratz hell is up with her bridesmaid gowns?

Missy met her boo-to-be at a theme park when she was 13. She and Thomas honeymooned in Turkey before moving into their own $36,000 trailer. It was a wedding gift from her parents.

I just can't today.