Benjamin Button Files: Red Alert

What in the FredSanfordblackundereyecirclesnappyheadedhoe ish is this about? Geesh Red Alert, you were one of my hip hop idols. You made me want to be from New York. WTF happened? This can't be your life now -- all sweaty, disheveled and without most of yo teefs? Get a makeover, stat! Why must I make this blog cry?