Cornball Corner: Nick Cannon vs. Eminem

File this under the lamest beef ever! Nick Corny Cannon is going "hard" on Eminem after Em dissed Cannon's meal ticket wife Mariah Carey in a new song. On “Bagpipes from Baghdad,” Em raps, “Why did we have to break up/All that I asked for was a glass of punch,” and “I want another crack at ya.” The melanin-deprived lyricist continues the diss adding, “Nick, you’ve had your fun/I’ve come to kick you in your sack of junk/Man, I could use a fresh batch of blood.” So what did Nick do? Did he spit out that razor blade he keeps under his tongue and go all Zorro on Em? Did he whoop Em's ass with a wet leather belt like Cuba Gooding's brother did to those gangstas in "Baby Boy"? Nope, Nick gets real gully and takes it....to the keyboard?!?! Nicky wrote on his blog that he felt sorry for Em since he's apparently stuck in the past, “What type of grown a** man lies about getting with a chick? Only Slim Lamey! LOL!” ***crickets chirping***
Really, Nick? This dude disses the love of your life and all you do is type "LOL!"? Wow, that's way hard. I should add though that Nick invited Em to step to him on some "grown man s***". Pardon me if I don't get my panties into a bunch over this one. Eminem was a great rapper but he's fallen off...way off. This beef screams manufactured. Did I mention Em's new album, "Relapse" is due out next week? Isn't Em's mentee 50 Cent the king of fake beefs? And sorry, but I think I could whoop Nick Cannon's skinny wangsta ass with my eyes closed. Why didn't Em go hard on someone....uh, hard? I'ma need both of them to fade to black, stat.