Knowing Your Limitatons - Metro Edition...

Ok anyone out there who knows me personally knows that I'm a pretty sturdy girl, I wouldn't call myself fat (but who would right ) but let's just say it would take a pretty strong wind to knock me over, the bottom portion of my body would make that wind wish he never fugged with me but let's get to the real meat of what has my thongs chaffing my ass.

So as always, I'm on my way to work, minding my business, getting a little nap in when suddenly I am awakened by a sensation that I believe is heat, I actually thought someone threw a ball of fire on my hip but alas it was'nt a ball of fire, IT WAS A WOMAN SHAPED LIKE A HAMBURGER!!!!.


Now there are a lot of things wrong here. #1 how do you let yourself go to the point where your body takes the shape of a hamburger? #2 how do you then decide to find the woman with the widest hips in DC and say to yourself "yes, I'm gonna plop my portly body on top of that poor innocent sleeping angel" ok the angel part may be a stretch but I'm sayin. So as she continues to move and shift her body around trying to make a comfortable fit, I become more and more fearful that a 3 alarm fire is about to jump off any second from all the meat to meat contact going on between us. In the end she finally realizes that we are not a good seating match and she gets up in search of some other chump to inflict her unfortunate figure on. My problem with her is not so much her figure, it's her not being realistic about where she can fit. As I stated, I come from a long line of woman who have well beyond the legal limit of ass that any woman should be allowed to carry but I know the limitations of my ass. I have a body made for sitting next to thin white men. I would never eva eva sit next to a swole black woman, it's not fair to either one of us *Sigh*