Celebrity Letter: Ciarihanna

Dear Cici,

My Granny always said, "Pick your friends like you pick your fruit", then she'd blow her nose and stick the snotty tissue back in her bra. Okay, so my family's not the Huxtables, but she was the smartest robe rockin' old person I knew, bless her heart. Okay, I digress. Real talk. I'm starting to not like you...a lot. You're swagger-jackin' Rihanna (please don't deny it) and then you're hanging with Mrs. Ho-oper (what exactly is her occupation again?). Please stop this insanity, stat! Unless you're using this fame whooty to get closer to her chocolate bar. Then I'll understand this odd couple paring thingy mo' better. Watch yourself in Hollyweird. The A will always welcome you back with open tatted arms. Toodles!