Ask A Dude©: The Christmas Special

Bianca: So Gross Dude, how does a man about town handle Christmas with all your bitches?

Gross Dude: Why they gotta be bitches....Were u one of my bitches back in the day?

Bianca: The bitchiest of them all, baby! Now back to you and your present day, bitches. (Yes.. we dated, DON'T JUDGE ME! The sun was in my eyes.. the Backstreet Boys had just broken up!!)

Gross Dude: LMAO... well, at least your fair.. can't argue with you. Just a lot of merry Xmas phone calls.. that's all.

Bianca: A LOT? A lot of calls. You are one nasty mofo, you know that?

Gross Dude: ...and some text messages

Bianca: You really go all out, don't you?

Gross Dude: Yeah.. it's hard being me

Bianca: Thanks for this fireside chat, Nasty ass

Gross Dude: I'm so not nasty...Women use me for sex.... I just happen to like sex. A lot.

Bianca: Yes, you are doing a community service. Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night.

Gross Dude: It does.. it really does.

Bianca: (having a flashback moment) You're clearly well practiced so it is good, but it's not that good that A Holiday TEXT would suffice. I am so confused.

Gross Dude: A woman that lives a few blocks from me, walked over.. in all that snow, last weekend.. at 11PM .. just to get it.

Bianca: REALLY??

Gross Dude: Yep

Bianca: I mean.. have you learned new tricks or something? I mean it's pleasant enough, sure. but I never thought of you having Blizzard Dick.

And a Happy HO HO HO'ing to you all!