Wedding Woes

Even though I'm single, I have been thinking a lot about marriage lately. More so about bad marriages. I'd hope to jump the broom one day but when I start thinking about some of the married guys I know who try to still mack on a regular; it stops me dead in my tracks! Many of them tell me they're upfront about their "situation" but qualify it by saying that they're separated and headed for divorce. What's more surprising to me is that this line seems to work more often than not. Is the man-drought really that bad that we'll take lay-a-way peen? The disrespecful environment for marriages is at an all time high. But it happens over and over until things get out of hand like the soon-to-be ex-wife inviting her rival to a Twitter beef, or an ex blasting her married lover's bidness on a billboard. I hate messy. To me, it's better to make a clean break first before starting anew, just sayin'. We all know though that's not gonna happen.  Ladies, do better!

Ditched!

And you thought you were having a bad day…

Ex-New Jersey Nets player Richard Jefferson was set to marry former Nets dancer Kesha Ni'Cole Nichols (what a name) last weekend in a posh, $2 million ceremony at the Mandarin Oriental hotel.

But, ole Richie dropped a bomb on homegirl. He dumped her just before the weekend but only officially called the whole thing off the night before the wedding.

Nichols told her family she’d been dumped but Jefferson waited 2 hours before the wedding to tell his friends, many of whom were already in New York for the wedding.

Jefferson did leave his Black AMEX so guests could pop a few bottles (isn’t he so sweet?). And Nichols got to stay in a suite on the 45th floor that overlooked Central Park.

You know, they say it’s cheaper to keep her, but maybe Rich realized it’s just cheaper not to get married at all.

Miniature Matrimony

I'm going straight to hell for this because the first thing that popped into my sick ass mind when I saw these wedding pictures of the stars of TLC's Little People: Just Married was not, "That's sweet, this little lucky lady didn't let her limitations get in the way of happiness." Nooooooooo, the first thought that popped into my head was, "Damn, if she can get married, what the f$#k is wrong with me?" Okay, sue me but I bet a lot of single ladies out there are thinking the same thing through clenched teef smiles at the countless weddings they've attended. I am by no means a hater, I'm just sayin'. I know, I know, "Hell's calling, line 2!"

Wedding Woes: The Seating Chart

Spring has sprung which means it's wedding season, a dreaded time for a lot of my single sistahs. Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on the newly affianced, but I need you giddy mofos to be a little more considerate when choreographing your seating chart. I guess I'm trying to say, DON'T SEAT ME NOWHERE NEARS YOUR MARRIED FRIENDS AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS! It's awkward to say the least. The brothas have to act like they're not staring at your breastesses, imagining how a good Motorboat would feel. The women (who probably all went to some HBCU together or are sorority sisters) all stare at you like your going to hop on their man's woody and ride the horsey until dessert cums (pun intended)! I can't tell you how many weddings I've attended solo and have had this happened to me. I understand that unless I'm married, my boo of the moment is not that important enough to fill the $35.00 seat, but next time Imma need you to seat me next to Granny and the wrinkly crew. At least I can enjoy myself and we can talk shish about you and your cock-eyed bride.