Yes, LaQuita. There IS A Santa Claus and he says 'GUILTY!'

Finally, people are reaping and a sowing around this piece!

Santa in the form of a Judge threw the book at Richard 'Wham Hair' (Though he seems to be now rocking THE BALDWIN) Heene! Judge Stephen Schapanski sentenced Heene and his sad yet scary wife to a total of 110 days jail and eight years probation. He also prohibited the couple from making any money off the balloon boy fiasco during that time! In yo' face suckas!

The judge mandates that Richard Heene must spend 30 days in jail beginning Jan. 11, 2010. The remaining 60 days of his 90-day sentence may be carried out under "work release,"- Hoodrat Harry will know what that means. For the rest of us: he picks up trash/makes license plates/tests nuclear weapons during the day, and gets home just in time for cocoa and foot rubs with his roomie, Big Steve.

In addition to getting his romance on in his cell, the judge also ruled that Richard Heene must write a letter of apology to the community and public service agencies that were roped into the Oct. 15 stunt, perform 100 hours of community service and submit to random drug or alcohol testing.

White Jesus is happy.

Balloon Boy's Mom Snitches!

Balloon Boy's mother coughed up the truth about their hoax.  Mayumi Heene told sheriff's deputies the whole thing was a hoax and she and her husband knew 6 year old Falcon was in the house the whole time.

Heene told the po-po the incident was crafted two weeks prior -and the boys told to lie- to make them more marketable to the media.

Heene's husband, Richard, maintains it was not a hoax!

Womp womp.

Source

Cornball Corner: Richard Heene

Richard Heene, the #Balloon Boy, sperm donor with the weird Wham hair has landed in the Brew's Cornball Corner today for obvious reasons. This creepy critter pimped out his family by staging an "oh shyt in the sky" that capitvated the nation for hours! If it wasn't for Falcon's sissy stomach and loose lips, we probably would have never known the truth about these loons. Police will reportedly file criminal charges against the Colorado Cukoo mid-week. Now, TMZ's on dat ass! Turns out, Heene is a thug fo' real! He spent several days in the clink in Cali for doing hood rat stuff back in 1997. It was in California where police say Heene met his wife Mayumi...in *dramatic pause*  ACTING CLASS. We've been had peoples! Now, I do know of some of White Jesus' chillren I'd like to blast off in a jiffy pop bag but I be damn if I call the po po and act shocked when they come out of a crawl space eatin' a slice of pizza. We need to check back with those little adverturous tykes in a few years...

I bet they'll be going One Hour Photo on some ass thanks to their freaky father! I quit them, fo' real!