Yes, LaQuita. There IS A Santa Claus and he says 'GUILTY!'

Finally, people are reaping and a sowing around this piece!

Santa in the form of a Judge threw the book at Richard 'Wham Hair' (Though he seems to be now rocking THE BALDWIN) Heene! Judge Stephen Schapanski sentenced Heene and his sad yet scary wife to a total of 110 days jail and eight years probation. He also prohibited the couple from making any money off the balloon boy fiasco during that time! In yo' face suckas!

The judge mandates that Richard Heene must spend 30 days in jail beginning Jan. 11, 2010. The remaining 60 days of his 90-day sentence may be carried out under "work release,"- Hoodrat Harry will know what that means. For the rest of us: he picks up trash/makes license plates/tests nuclear weapons during the day, and gets home just in time for cocoa and foot rubs with his roomie, Big Steve.

In addition to getting his romance on in his cell, the judge also ruled that Richard Heene must write a letter of apology to the community and public service agencies that were roped into the Oct. 15 stunt, perform 100 hours of community service and submit to random drug or alcohol testing.

White Jesus is happy.

Balloon Boy's Mom Snitches!

Balloon Boy's mother coughed up the truth about their hoax.  Mayumi Heene told sheriff's deputies the whole thing was a hoax and she and her husband knew 6 year old Falcon was in the house the whole time.

Heene told the po-po the incident was crafted two weeks prior -and the boys told to lie- to make them more marketable to the media.

Heene's husband, Richard, maintains it was not a hoax!

Womp womp.

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Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down: Case #45654 La Neighbor Loco

Is this Bangin' in Little Rock? Seems like neighbors of the Heene family are getting sick of the bloodsucking media outside their surburban doors searching for more balloon. The hardest on the block bucked up...and this here friends is where he learned don't fug with the cameraman!
Check it!

Balloon Boy Spoof: "I'm In A Box"

And so it begins...

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Breaking Brew News: Balloon Boy Incident Was A Hoax

Police have confirmed the "Balloon Boy" incident was indeed a hoax.

Larimer County, CO Sheriff Jim Alderden told reporters today the hoax was carried out by a couple who met "in acting school in Hollywood" and "put on a very good show for us." Police say there was "a conspiracy" between Richard and Mayumi Heene. Alderden said police "have evidence at this point that it was a publicity stunt."

The dramatic announcement included an admission by Alderden that authorities misled the media on Friday when they said they still believed it was not a hoax.

In fact, after a comment on CNN Thursday night by Falcon, the 6-year-old boy, "it became very clear to us at that point that they were lying," Alderden said. But in order to get to the truth, "it was very important that they maintain their trust with us." So investigators misled the media while they carried out their "game plan" of gathering the truth.

The comment that triggered concern: "You guys said we did this for the show." That's what Falcon told his parents when they asked him, on live television, why he had not come out from hiding when they were calling for him.

Snitched on by the kid! *smh*

Read more at CNN.

Breaking Brew: Charges Expected in #Balloon Boy Case

Ah, when crazy called, Richard Heene picked up the phone...a few times. Colorado authorities have announced that they expect to file criminal charges again Heene soon in the case of the runaway ballon boy that captivated the nation. Richard Heene slicked back his hair to talk slick to the news crews Saturday. He told them there would be a "big announcement" and when they gathered in front of his house, he came outside with a box for questions. Stay tune for more developments, but in the meantime peep the bizzaro!

Falcon "Balloon Boy" Heene Blows Chunks on the Today Show

Every morning, I wake up to the melodious voice of my boo, Matt Lauer, on the Today Show. Oh, but not this morning. I awoke to little Balloon Boy PUKING live on the Today Show. Consider it a favor... I'm passing along the joyous moment to you. Enjoy your breakfast!

The vomiting starts about 6 minutes into the below clip. I love how the camera guy doesn't know where to point the camera...on the puker or the dad!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Breaking Brew: The WTF Files Take To The Skies

Well as you all now know lil Falcon was hiding (LIKE A PUNK! MAN UP YOU 6 YEAR OLD!!)   UNLESS he was hiding in Narnia...no movie for the kid!

Why, in his own words:

Apropos of nothing, the Heene family also once appeared on 'Wife Swap'...

Mayumi and Richard Heene and their three sons appeared last year on ABC's Wife Swap. Their network bio says the Colorado-based Heene's "live life on the edge. Wife Mayumi and storm scientist Richard take their three kids, Bradford, Ryo and Falcon, out of school to go on storm chasing missions to prove Richard's theories about magnetic fields and gravity." Richard also maintains a site dedicated to his storm-chasing activities

****

C'mon Falcon, you cannot go out like this!! (Meanwhile The OTHERS, at work are in here losing thier shit around me...)

Update 4:08pm ET:

A balloon that was set adrift by a 6-year-old boy from his parents' Colorado home was found empty, CNN affiliate KMGH said, citing a police report.

The balloon landed south of Prospect Springs, Colorado, Thursday afternoon.

The balloon landed south of Prospect Springs, near Colorado Springs.
The boy was not inside the helium aircraft when it landed, KMGH reported.
A sibling saw the boy get into the craft Thursday morning. Officials were concerned that the boy may have fallen out of it, an undersheriff said.
Margie Martinez of the Weld County Sheriff's Office said a sibling saw Falcon Heene climb into the basket before the balloon took off from his parents' home.
Because the door on the balloon was unlocked, it's possible the boy had fallen out, Martinez said.
The balloon appeared to be a saucer-shaped, Mylar-coated helium balloon, similar to a party balloon.






Right now, as I type this, there is a 6 year old boy that--if all ends well-- is not going to have to work another day in his life. Why? Because his parents have had the smarts to build a helium balloon in their backyard, and his behind crawled in it, and left them ground-bound. Disney-Pixar dudes are skeeting themselves right now, for the rights.





Let's pray he lands safely to collect his dividends and punch his daddy in the mouth! All jokes aside- couldn't his father had taken him to Chuck E. Cheese or the Strip club or some isht instead of this Jiffy Pop monstrosity?





Streaming live VIDEO OF THE BALLOON








"The 6 year-old boy is floating over northeastern Colorado in a homebuilt balloon and authorities are racing to try and rescue him. The balloon, in the shape of a flying saucer is covered in foil and filled with helium. It has a compartment for a passenger underneath. It lifted the boy into the air near Fort Collins Thursday morning after the balloon became untethered at the boy's home.
The father and son had apparently been working on the aircraft for some time. The police and other authorities have been alerted and Airtracker 7 has launched in an effort to locate the boy.
Airtracker 7 located the craft at 12:35 p.m. at about 8,000 feet in Weld County. It appeared to be slightly tilted. Skies in the area are partly cloudy and southwest wind speeds are 15 to 20 miles per hour. "It is believed the device could rise to 10,000 feet," said Eloise Campanella, Larimer County Sheriff's Officer spokeswoman. "The structure at the bottom of the balloon that the boy is in is made of extremely thin plywood and won't withstand any kind of a crash at all," said Erik Nilsson, Larimer County Emergency Manager. Deputies from Larimer and Weld counties are tracking the balloon as it drifts. FAA spokesman Mike Fergus said the agency has been notified and it was unclear whether traffic controllers had picked it up on radar.
The balloon may drift into air traffic control corridors used by Denver International Airport, based on its current location and direction."


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