Advice: The Modern Man’s Guide To Cheating

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EXTREME SARCASM!

Ahhh The Smell of it!

The Modern Man’s Guide To Cheating

Step 1:

Make sure you, and no one you know, has access to the Internet. There is nothing worse than some asshole blowing up your spot by posting pics on Facebook of you and your side lady love, on your “Boys Weekend”. All is takes is one jerk-off with World Wide Web access to ruin a “happy-ish” home! Now, you’ve got to explain to your wife: “I thought I told you it was ‘Boys with their Girlfriends and not WIVES’ weekend... my bad baby...my bad!” This all could have been avoided by living No-Tech Loca!

Step 2.

If living unplugged is not an option, get as many alternate email addresses as your mind can handle. Don’t forget to use different passwords, hell make the passwords so convoluted and obscure even YOU can’t figure them out. Did you know that puzzles and mind benders are proven to ward off Alzheimer’s!? That’s right serve BOTH heads at the same time!

Step 3:

Here’s where being an educated man REALLY pays off. Join your Alma Mater’s alumni web group. There is no shortage of aging single tail there. Think of the possibilities! You’ll be able to see if your old virginal girlfriend learned some new freaktastic moves. Or if you are a former nerd who's ‘made it’ you can holla at that chick you were too Gump-like to step to back in the day, and show her how she missed out. EVERYBODY (but your wife) WINS!

Step 4:

Do not attempt to lose a pound, put down the dumbbell and pick up a hoagie- you hear me!? First of all you are the MUTHAFLIPPIN MAN! Why would you need to tighten up that gut? Secondly, you would never want your significant other, to think you are getting it tight for her or anyone else. DAMN THAT! Enjoy your beer, your boobs AND your babes. Trust me, the women you cheat with and on, will be so damn confused that you could possibly share that puzzle-bod with anyone besides them, they’ll never believe it!