Things Negroes Like: Summer Fashion Edition

It’s about that time to make sure your summer wardrobe is in gear. From sundresses to your feet… everything gets an overhaul for the summer. But some things we Negroes like to wear in the summer should really be hidden deep in the closet, if not burned in a dumpster. So, let’s run through the list of fashion faux pas and do our best to avoid them. Consider this your summer what not to wear guide.

Run it…


Short & Strappy

Yes, it’s hot out. Yes, it’s more comfortable to wear a sundress or fewer clothes than you normally would when the Mercury is rising. But, no, it’s not okay to go short and strappy if you need a lever and pulley system to hold up your breasts and keep your vagicat hidden. Perhaps knee-length is a better option. Try it!

See Through

Now, a good see through frock allows you to give a hint of skin without being too trashy, provided you wear the right undergarments to cover your goodies. So this right here is just going way too far. I mean, why even wear panties if you’re going braless? If you’re letting it all hang, go for the gusto, why don’tcha!

Fresh Pedicures

The summer is must for letting the toes come out to play. It’s the perfect time to experiment with funky colors that you’d never wear on your nails. But, lets keep it simple people. Do you really need to have a Bob Ross landscape with ‘happy trees’ airbrushed on your feet? And if you can’t put on a simple pair of closed-toe shoes, then it’s time to cut the claws you call your toe nails.

Visible Undies

Naturally, the shirts come off in the summertime. But that doesn’t mean we want to see your man-pannies either. I really don’t need to know whether you’re a boxers or briefs kinda man. I’m not interested. Pull up your pants and get a real belt. And that goes for you too ladies…I have no interest in seeing your thong when you sit down either.

Big Accessories

Summer is the perfect time to dust off your neon, fluorescent and trendy accessories. Everything has its place in moderation. But the Negroes cannot seem to part with our bamboo earrings. I know those suckers cost you a lot back in the day. But come on, haven’t they paid for themselves already? Let it go! LLL wanted that “Around The Way Girl” back in 1990. Let’s embrace the new century.

Summer Weaves

I never did get the point of waiting until the hottest months of the year to slap on 20 tracks of hair on top of yours. It always seemed to me that the winter was the best time for weaving… at least your head would be warm. But, to each her own, I guess. The Skittles hair though? There’s no perfect season for that. If the hair comes in a color that no one can grow naturally, leave it alone!

Until next time, I hope your air is always conditioned! Stay cool my friends.