Sumfin Different

OK, as your cultural ambassador, I have purposely ignored the Cherry Blossom festival because while lovely-- it is a crazy ass tourist trap.

However this event is different, and I think Fawnda would approve.

Saturday April 4, 2009
Location: Jefferson Memorial
Imagine 100 people doing yoga under the cherry blossom. That is lululemon athletica’s BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal). Bring your friends, bring your family, and celebrate the beauty that surrounds us. What: Complimentary yoga class Where: Jefferson Memorial - Join us at the Tidal Basin Stage, located on the plaza of the memorial on Ohio Drive, SW. The closest metro is Smithsonian. When: Saturday, April 4th 10:30 am – 11:30 am - Rain or shine! RSVP: clarendon-store@lululemon.com by March 30th B.Y.O.M. (Bring your own mat)

I think you may see my Bianca's full beige moon downward doggin' under the canopy of trees. They are pretty damn spectacular...the moon and the trees that is.

DVD Review: Tae Bo Funk

Sweet God in heaven. Billy Blanks is many things-- a motivator, the man who gives me killer legs -(seriously I could kick a sternum out and not blink an eye), he's my and your personal DVD fitness guru and grammar fucker-upper.

What Sensei Blanks is NOT, is 'Funk'. This DVD is like watching the rhythm free old man at the club try to jazz up his ‘Nam era Green Beret moves, at your local dancery. As a Billy Blanks believer and ultimate swim fan, I’d like to say I could provide a full review of this DVD, but 10 mins of spastic off-beat grinding and thrusting made me as uncomfortable as a teen would be discovering her parents grinding on the dance floor that they are supposed to be chaperoning. I feel for you Shelly... I do.

Health: DVD Review, HIP HOP ABS, Killing Fat Cells and Hip Hop in 12 Easy Steps

Meet Shaun T. a former fat boy turned fit boy. He looks great, and he wants to make you look great too! Great. The rapping though... sucks. Donkey nuts. Seriously. Dial it down a notch Shaunie. I’ll be there for the workouts, no doubt- it’s boy getting season and all. But your music career? Not, gonna happen. Your flow is wackmatic.

Oh, the review: Good workout- especially the full body burn DVD! You work up a nice sweat with ‘hip hop’ cardio moves, standing, and more traditional abs work. It offers a fun alternative to the tired crunch routine. And Shaunie is like your best girlfriend who just wants you to look hot... he’s too cute, but you want to shove a cookie in his mouth, just to stop his 'flow'.


Order it here:
http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/hip_hop_abs.do?code=COMPARECHART_HHA

Sneak Peek at his new DVD:

V-Day: Fitness & the Freak

Jump off, girlfriend, boo, wifey, whatever you're calling yourself this V-Day, here's to you! Valentine's Day is a sexy holiday filled with chocolates and other "edible" items. What's not sexy is too much jelly when you're trying to get your Karma Sutra on! Love it or hate it, V-Day is here and it's a great time to get in shape! One way to preserve your sexy is a striptease workout. These types of joints are popping up everywhere.  Mostly in suburbia cuz we all know how freaky those housewives are!  Most of these exotic gyms allow you the option of doing either a pole routine, floor or both. But unless your name is Diamond, pole dancing can be dangerous. Ask the girl in the video! So, I suggest sticking to the floor routine for a good cardio workout without the pole bruises and embarrasment.

Meet the Witches: Fawnda Simmons, Health Hag

Growing up on the mean streets of suburbia...exercise was always a big deal to Fawnda Simmons. Running from cops, crooks and creeps has shaped her love for all things fitness. Now, she can floss with Flo-Jo and whoop Billy Blanks' ass!

Fawnda developed her fantastic muscular physique from breaking into the homes of unhealthy eaters and stealing their stash of goodies. She toned her ripped abs by laughing at their bloated asses when they tried to chase her.

In college, Fawnda organized protests against fat kids who love cake and FUPAs. Now, she a certified fitness instructor in the 'hood. Her goal is to give readers the skinny (pun intended bitches) on every Z-list celebrity's work out tape, diet craze and health tip. If you're tired of "Bootydos"...tune in for your daily dose of fitness with Fawnda!