DVD Review: Tae Bo Funk

Sweet God in heaven. Billy Blanks is many things-- a motivator, the man who gives me killer legs -(seriously I could kick a sternum out and not blink an eye), he's my and your personal DVD fitness guru and grammar fucker-upper.

What Sensei Blanks is NOT, is 'Funk'. This DVD is like watching the rhythm free old man at the club try to jazz up his ‘Nam era Green Beret moves, at your local dancery. As a Billy Blanks believer and ultimate swim fan, I’d like to say I could provide a full review of this DVD, but 10 mins of spastic off-beat grinding and thrusting made me as uncomfortable as a teen would be discovering her parents grinding on the dance floor that they are supposed to be chaperoning. I feel for you Shelly... I do.

You Can Find Me In The Club...

Jem's new favorite pastime is trolling for flicks of your people (yeah, I said it) looking a hot mess in the club. At what point did hitting the club become more about shock value and less about having a good time? Your goal in life should not be to pose like a video vixen...especially if you've got rolls like a bread basket. Come on people...we've got to do better.

Enjoy this mini-gallery, compliments of You Know You Dead Azz Wrong, and strive for something a little more tailored the next time you hit the town on a Friday night.

Jesus, be a wardrobe stylist...and a pair of pants!

Do or Don’t Do, for Dudes: Hey There Fancy Pants!

So, I was out and about with my favorite crabby guy yesterday (protectin' the innocent and 'ish). Once we were out into the bright light of day, I noticed he was wearing the fanciest pair of man jeans this side of Liberace's casual Friday closet. Now don't get me wrong, I've seen these excessive jeans in the random music video... um but dude is far from a gansta rapper. (Which is a good thing).

Okay, I'm a busy girl, and lately some trends pass me by with zero notice. So maybe I've missed the 'Bedazzling Movement for the Every Man'. Since when is this ok? Now, in all fairness, Mr. Crab's detail work was much more subtle than these gaudy ass jeans. But still, I enjoyed a hearty chuckle or 12, nonetheless. His name for the rest of the day was Fancy Pants. And all he could say was ''You're gonna blog about this aren't you?''

Oh you, bet your fancy ass, I am!