Brew News: Beware Peruvian Thickums, Chubbychasers Want You- Dead!

 This here is some Brewshyt. How you gonna stick someone for their, fine cultivated on yummy Peruvian eats, body fat?! Who knew my lard ass was worth so much!?  If you promise to keep me alive, you can have this shit for FREE!

Four people have been arrested in Peru on suspicion of killing dozens of people in order to sell their fat and tissue for cosmetic uses in Europe. The gang allegedly targeted people on remote roads, luring them with fake job offers before killing them and extracting their fat.  The liquidized product fetched $15,000 (£9,000) a litre and police suspect it was sold on to companies in Europe. 

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DJ Khaled: "We 'Da Fattest"

DJ Khaled loves McDonald's so much that he's plugging their "sashish" (read: sausage) biscuit.

Hypertension and diabetes...on line 1.

Brew Health: The Chubbing of America

No wonder many Americans got rolls for days. Check out the map above!

Stephen von Worley at Weather Sealed mapped the 13,000+ locations of McDonald’s across the country. This thing is lit up like my old school Lite Brite.

Notice where most of the fast food chain is located. East Coast stand up!

Whew! Back to my crunches!

...And This Is Why You've Got Lard In Your Veins

Snopes, Google police, somebody...please debunk this as a joke immediately. For the sake of all mankind.

KFC is reportedly marketing a new chicken sandwich called the Double Down which uses chicken as the "bun." The sandwich uses two slabs of fried chicken in place of bread buns.

If that doesn't tempt your tummy, this might: the Double Down contains two slices of bacon, pepper jack cheese, Swiss cheese and sauce, wrapped between the two fillets.

Not surprisingly, the sandwich isn't on the KFC website, which leads many to believe it's a hoax. But Foodgeekery.com has pics of the sandwich and the marketing campaign behind it. And, there is this commercial making its way around the internetz.



I'm backing away from my Luther Burger right now and doing some crunches!

Brew News: Gun Hidden In Fat Rolls

An overweight Texas inmate is in even more trouble with the law after a gun was found hidden in his fat rolls. 500 lb. inmate George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility. The 25 year old was actually in jail for selling illegal copies of CDs. The cops had already searched Vera (apparently, not too well) and he was searched again at the city and county jails, but they never found anything. Vera told police about the 9mm gun before he hit the showers. The gun was hidden in a roll of skin.

Eww!

Whatever happened to just hiding a file (or the salami) in jail?