Will You Watch?: Black Women Are Hopeless, Episode #490

Here we go again...

ABC is continuing the debate about whether successful sistas can have the job, house, car, baby, man and the marriage.

Nightline is tackling the question "why can't a successful black woman find a man?" in a "face-off" hosted by Vicki Mabrey. The panel features co-host Steve Harvey (multiple marriages), Sherri Shepherd (divorced), Jacque Reid (still searching), Jimi Izrael (just learned who you were today) and Hill Harper (not married). Um, isn't someone missing from the panel: a successful married black woman? Oh wait... there aren't any, right? (If you believe the hype)  Maybe Vicki is married. #kanyeshrug

The "face-off" airs Wednesday, April 21st at 11:35 pm (ET) on Nightline.

So, will you watch?

Photo: Ida Mae Astute/ABC News

Brew Money: I Got $5 On It....

Every time I turn on the television or open up a newspaper, I have to read about the jacked up plight of black women. The Pittsburgh Post Gazette reported on a study which found that the median income for single black women is...drum roll..$5! That's right...*singing* "five...five dollar...five dollar footlong"! Opps, scratch that footlong part because I almost forget, aside from being broke, we apparently don't have menzes either!

among the most startling revelations in the wealth data is that while single white women in the prime of their working years (ages 36 to 49) have a median wealth of $42,600 (still only 61 percent of their single white male counterparts), the median wealth for single black women is only $5


Researchers are calling the findings shocking. Discuss...

Fantasy Football: Stacking Your Dating Roster

Ladies,

In an attempt to save myself great heartache down the road, I asked my man-friend what to do about another guy, let's call this other guy "more-than-a-man-friend." Now, this man-friend guy is an opinion machine, let me tell ya. And luckily for me, most of his opinions ring true and are rooted in some serious experience.

So, I asked man-friend about how to protect my feelings in this situation. I'm feeling this more-than-a-man-friend guy, and my little beating heart is ready to jump all up in it. I think more-than-a-man-friend is feeling me too, but he's not all the way there yet on the relationship tip. In other words, he ain't relationship-ready. Whatever that means. Is that like being marathon-ready? Road-ready? Ever-ready? Do you put hours in at the gym to get your 'ready' status up?

Anyway. Man-friend broke it all down for me.

And being the loyal servant I am to you Brewchies, I thought I'd share it with you. Merry Christmas!

The Fantasy Football Theory
Man-friend tells me that every good team needs quarterbacks. Preferably, three of them. What makes women any different? We've got to stack our benches too.

Then he says, he's going to tell me the "most dude-ish" piece of dating advice when it comes to more-than-a-man-friend: "Keep him for the present time, but go on the lookout for a new guy. Don't CHEAT, but look for a new candidate."

I ask man-friend to expand on this morsel. He calls it the "QB Method." Meaning: keep three quarterbacks on the active roster (keep 3 men in your vicinity at all times).

Here's how it all shakes out:

1. QB #1 is your starter: the man you get down with! He's your Montana!
   
   
2. QB #2 is the reliable back-up: he knows about QB #1 and is ready to hop in the game at any moment and even has the chops to hang on the Super Bowl field. Keep this one around but don't cheat with him or you'll lose his respect. If QB #1 is sent away to do some Mike Vick kinda time, then elevate that #2 to his spot and keep it moving.
   
   
3. QB #3 the good back up: he wins some games and could develop his arm so to speak. But you keep him at a distance… like, waay at the end of the bench. Sure, you'd get with him. But don't tell him that. Just hang out with him casually.

So, here's where man-friend's theory starts to make my spideysense spin. He says start adding new ones to the roster when you need to (and definitely make cuts), but always make sure you've got three in the line-up, so when one doesn't act right, he gets axed.

Now, the bigger question is: where do you even meet all these viable quarterbacks in the first place?

Riddle me that, man-friend. Riddle me that!?!

It's sad that we have to even do this "dance" in the first place, really. It would be so much easier if we all wore shirts that said "I like peen" or "I enjoy vagicat," then you could just make your draft picks from there and skip all that getting to know you stuff. Why can't the world operate like my mind does?

Ah, one last piece of advice from the man-code breaker: men are simple! If dude has issues from the get-go, it doesn't look too good down the road.

Whew! This is way too much sports analogy for me to follow. Good thing football season is starting, huh?

Is Dating Dead?

Remember when boys used to pinch and elbow you in class to show they liked you? That led to them making you check 'yes' or 'no' to profess your love (or, your dislike) for them. If you played your cards right, the next step was something my aunties always referred to as courting. That's some ancient process where the guy rolls out the red carpet for your affection.

I think the art of courting died somewhere circa 1950-ish. These days, you're lucky if you get a Can I come over? text, or a What you doin' tonight? e-mail. And don't hold your breath for him providing you with a meal because he's coming over to your house to eat the food you bought and cooked in your kitchen.

So I ask, what happened to dating? Does anyone go on actual Would you like to go to dinner with me on Friday at 8 at Chez Whitey? dates anymore? Is dating dead or are men just cheap? Or, maybe women are giving the goods away without the need for the dates? Perhaps since courting died, no one really knows HOW to date anymore.

Not to toot my own stuff, but I think I'm well-worthy of being asked out, putting on some nice duds, being driven in your car (on your gas dime) and taken some place decent (it doesn't have to be Le Cirque but it can't be In & Out burger either) for a meal that comes with no strings attached. Unless, of course, a sista wants some after-dinner strings... hey, we all have needs & I don't judge.

In return for these dates, I will provide you with my undivided attention, my witty banter, my blinging smile (no, I don't have diamonds in my teeth) and, perhaps, some of the good softlip when the date is over (the lips on my FACE... get your mind out of the gutter!).

Now, you don't have to take me out three times a week (I do have other things going on). And I'm well aware there's a recession going on. But it would be nice to get a weekly offer to do SOMETHING (dinner, movie, ice skating, concert, museum trip, walk in the park, go karting, kumbaya-singing... something that brings us closer together)! These are all things we women ultimately wind up doing with our girlfriends. Some of my best 'dates' have been with my crew. Damn shame my girls love me better than any man ever has.

Women shouldn't have to beg for a man's time and likewise, we shouldn't have to plan everything either. It wouldn't kill you to shave, put on some real pants and take us out. Man up and take charge... we like that, no matter how independent we are or may seem.

I'm tired of dating myself, dammit!!!

VIVA LA WEAVES!!!!

Never tell me weaves are not the bitness! Not only do they transform your total look but they saves lives! LITERALLY SAVE LIVES!!! Peep the real life account from a woman in Kansas whose scorned lover attempted to take her out via a bullet but ALAS! the bullet instead got caught up in her weave and therefore was unable to penetrate her skull, WEAVE ROCKS!!!!



*Sidenote*

I may go to hell for this but I personally feel that it was all that funky ass new growth that really saved the day…..