Kate Gosselin Channels Her Inner Tranny

Kate Gosselin donned her best RuPaul's Drag Race reject outfit and bombed the hell out of Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi on Dancing With The Stars Last Night. If you’re having a bad day… or want to laugh at somebody else’s… LEAP!

Read more »

Nothing Will Make Me Like You, Kate Gosselin

I don't know how this happens to me. Each season of this vapid reality dance show, I vow: This is it. I will not waste 800 hours of my week watching the rhythmically challanged try to ballroom dance. But like so many resolutions, this one was broken by the thought that just maybe maybe the ABC censors would throw caution to the wind and let Chad OchosRios (I refuse to spell a made up ass name ''correctly") dance in the nude, like he likes to train. Because I am a durty durty Puma. Two weeks into this suckfest, and I'm already annoyed. Here's the run-down

SHANNEN DOHERTY: Brenda, I heart you and your gap tooth grin. But was it always sooo damn gappy? How did I miss this? Did you go in for the Madonna special? I have dental questions dammit. I want them answered! As the woman who helped give me HEATHERS, you can do no wrong. As you were.

Neicy Nash, you can actually dance-ish. Yay! And I speak the language of "butter" as well!

Bachelor Guy, when they announced you were next I went to the pisser, sorry dude. (no pic b/c who are you?!)


Olympics Dude, ditto.... I drink a lot of water. (no pic, b/c I don't care)

ESPN lady, I like you.. but not enough to find a pic of you online. Good luck!

Dear Buzz Aldrin, I am begging, please sir please do not die on my television set. I have had a ROUGH YEAR. ROUGH, and it's only March. I do not think that my constitution can take it if you die on my television set.

Love, Bianca

Pamela Anderson, whatever you are smoking, puff puff pass.

Aiden Turner, you give me lady wood. That is all. Oh and I totally think you and Edyta are smooshing....and her husband watches. Now, that is all.

Chad Ochounodostres, lay off flirting with the dancin' brawd and get to moving your ass...you want fame? FAME COSTS, BITCH! Debbie done told ya!

Kate "Original Recipe Octomom" Gosselin. 1. you are NOT a celebrity. 2. You have no talent. 3. 'Doing it for the moms out there?'...why must you punish them? Is their life not hard enough with wiping poop and puke, that you must subject them to your robotic moves and snide condescending ways? I predict this is your last week. Buh Byes. And blowing kisses to your kids is more effective when they are in the room, you succubus. Furthermore, the way you speak to men, you will be single forever. REAL TALK TUESDAY!

Nicole Shirtshanger... Skirtsteak Sherzinger, you are mad stupid muldooky pretty. That is all.

New Dancing For Relevancy Cast Announced

ABC just announced the new Dancing With The Stars contenders for the show's upcoming season.

And it's a pretty decent cast dancing for relevancy this time around (give or take a few):

 Chad Ochocinco

Niecy Nash (her flower will undoubtedly grow bigger each week)

Kate Gosselin (who's watching the kids?)

Nicole Scherzinger (I still have to cut and paste her name, geez)

Pamela Anderson

Shannen Doherty

Also dancing this season... soap opera star Aiden Turner, moon walker Buzz Aldrin, ESPN's Erin Andrews, Olympic gold medalist figure skater Evan Lysacek and The Bachelor's Jake Pavelka.    

The new season of Dancing With The Stars kicks off March 22nd.  So, will you watch?

Images via ABC 

Brew Tube: Whitty Hutton on DWTS

Here's a look at Whitney Houston's performance on Dancing With The Stars last night.  I gave up watching this show way back when Lil Kim got booted so I never know who's dancing or who's sangin'... or in this case, Kirk Franklin'ing the verses.  Hey, I'm just sayin.  She looked good though! 

Can I ask... why Whitney's chin be sweatin' so much?  Ok, maybe I'd better not.

Mya's Loss Is A Win-Win

Donny Osmond and his Utah steeze were no match for Mya.  Donny took home the tacky trophy on ABC's Dancing With The Stars tonight.  

Mya and her partner Dmitry Chaplin had a consistent run throughout the show, but you can't eff with those Osmonds... they're an army.

I won't lie.  Girlfriend did get robbed.  But who wants that ugly trophy anyway?  And let's be honest, this is a win-win for Mya.  She'd better put out a new album or something in 3...2..., cuz, let me ask you, who was checking for Mya before this show?   

Don't worry... I'll wait.........^© 

Source

^©Katt Williams

Mya On The Comeback + DWTS Michael Jackson Tribute

I've always thought Mya is a great talent. I mean, she doesn't blow like Aretha, but who does? She's a full package though: she sings, acts and dances (emphasis on the dance). Mya and her "Dancing With The Stars" partner Dmitry hit up the Ellen DeGeneres show this week to perform this hot little number.

Meantime, on DWTS, the dancers paid a fitting tribute to Michael Jackson. Taste The Brew to see the tribute with a little cameo from Katherine and LaToya Jackson.

Read more »

Michael Irvin Helps Tear Down Racial Stereotypes: We All Can't Dance.......

He doesn't just dress horrifically, he dances that way too! You gotta give the man his propers for consistency.

And see, not all the coloreds know how to "shake it like a salt shaker!" nah nah nah nah nah..... IN YO FACE!

Brew Sports News: Usain Literally Bolts! Michael Irvin Finna Dance and Vick Speaks.....

What does Usain eat/drink?? I want some! STAT! geesh! and I think I'm saying something as I huff and puff through my 3 mile run...... ha! Is there an underground running camp in Montego Bay????? I'm sayin......

BERLIN —Usain Bolt saved the celebration for after the finish line this time and showed that, yes, he can keep breaking that world record. He obliterated it, in fact.

Bolt ran 100 meters in 9.58 seconds Sunday at world championships, turning his showdown against Tyson Gay into a rout and putting to rest the questions that went unanswered last time he set the record — at his showboating Olympic run of 9.69 seconds.

Yes, he can do better when he goes all out the whole way. Yes, he can break 9.6.

It was the biggest change in the record since electronic time was introduced in 1968. It came very close to the 9.55-second time that an American professor said Bolt would have run in Beijing had he run all out in the Olympic 100 finals.

Under ideal conditions and facing the toughest competition possible, Bolt blew away his own world record by 0.11 seconds on the one-year anniversary of the last world record. Gay, meanwhile, set the American record by finishing in 9.71, a time that would have been a world record 12 months and one day ago, but was an afterthought instead.

source:

And in other humorous sports news, Michael Irvin is finna shake his grove thang on the new season of "Dancing with the Stars"...... Hope he doesn't 'crack' under the pressure.......

Joining him will be Mya and the always lovely Macy Gray

If you missed Vick on "60 Minutes" last night, here ya go!