Genius Alert!

Rules of pimping...

• Don't get caught with your pants down


• Don’t snitch on yourself


• Don’t create a cover up when a well-placed lie will suffice


• And if all else fails: deny, deny, deny

Someone forgot to send South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford the pimpin’ handbook. This fool ducked out on his wife, his family, his staff and the entire state to be with his mistress in Buenos Aires. She must have the ill na-na.

The Republican admitted to having an affair with the Argentinian woman, whom he called a “dear, dear friend” that developed into something more (well, I’ll say). He had not been seen in public since June 18th and when asked about his whereabouts, his wife seemed rather nonchalant about her missing husband.

Insiders have reportedly known about the affair for 5 months. Sanford even tricked his staff into covering up the news of his absence by saying he was hiking the Appalachian Trail (uh, yeah, right). Sanford held a news conference today to come clean, apologize and beg like Keith Sweat for foregiveness. He also stepped down as head of the Republican Governors Association.

This guy was once being touted as a potential candidate for the White House. Guess that plan is awash.

When will these men learn not to think with their peens?