Brew Funny: Tipsy

You need this man in your life!



Happy almost Friday.

Abuse or Playing Around?: Mom Drags Kid On Leash

From the WTF files: An Alabama mother has become infamous on these here internetz. 37 year old Melissa Catherine Smith-Means dragged her child through a Verizon store on a backpack leash. Of course, you're in a cell phone store, so someone's bound to catch it on tape. And they did... now it's on YouTube.

Police arrested the mother on child cruelty charges in April but she's still behind bars. As you can see on the tape, the people in the store were too concerned with free nights and weekends to help the kid out.

The boy's father says this is a game the two played. Smith-Means claims the boy liked it. She says she suffers from lupus and pneumonia and could not pick him up. But she had enough strength to hit the celly store?

Smith-Means is now awaiting trial, facing 20 years behind bars.
Pop the "taste the brew" to see the video and tell us if this is a case of child abuse!





So, was it child abuse or just playing around? Does this country do enough to protect its children?

What's your call?

Chopper Style

A Florida man called police and asked for an escort to see Lil Wayne in Miami.  20 yr. old Michael Kruse wanted the cops to escort him to see Wayne so he could get there quickly.  

He called 911 while he was on I-95.  Oh, but wait it gets worse... This fool asked for a HELICOPTER to take him to see Weezy.  My words don't even do this story justice.  You must listen to the audio.

The cops made Kruse pull over where he was immejitley escorted to jail...do not pass go!

And this isn't the first time this nimrod has been accused of misusing 911.  He also called 911 to complain of feeling sick, but later admitted he'd been smoking that Mary Jane.

I blame BET for this!

Father of the Year Speaks

Joseph Jackson spoke to CNN's Don Lemon on the red carpet of the BET Awards.

Talk about a class act... "We just lost the biggest star in the world" instead of "I just lost my son."



Something tells me this guy is just waiting for the checks to clear. Did he really just plug his record company?

I guess, everybody handles death differently. (I'm trying to be nice)

Genius Alert!

Rules of pimping...

• Don't get caught with your pants down


• Don’t snitch on yourself


• Don’t create a cover up when a well-placed lie will suffice


• And if all else fails: deny, deny, deny

Someone forgot to send South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford the pimpin’ handbook. This fool ducked out on his wife, his family, his staff and the entire state to be with his mistress in Buenos Aires. She must have the ill na-na.

The Republican admitted to having an affair with the Argentinian woman, whom he called a “dear, dear friend” that developed into something more (well, I’ll say). He had not been seen in public since June 18th and when asked about his whereabouts, his wife seemed rather nonchalant about her missing husband.

Insiders have reportedly known about the affair for 5 months. Sanford even tricked his staff into covering up the news of his absence by saying he was hiking the Appalachian Trail (uh, yeah, right). Sanford held a news conference today to come clean, apologize and beg like Keith Sweat for foregiveness. He also stepped down as head of the Republican Governors Association.

This guy was once being touted as a potential candidate for the White House. Guess that plan is awash.

When will these men learn not to think with their peens?

Hell NO-VA!

Everyone knows I heart Jay-Z but I have to call him out about this extra ish right here. The University of Arizona released his rider that was supplied to them before his concert last month. Jigga made some serious demands including a Maybach and thousands of dollars worth of liquor. The school nixed that because it's against University policy. What cracked me up was he asked for 2004 Sassicaia, which was described as "Red, Italian Wine from Bolgheri Region" of Italy! He also required his room temperature to be 72 degrees. WTF? My, Hovi, how far we've come from drinking tap water from Marcy Projects. To read more of Hov's outrageous requests click here. It's the Roc!

The Benjamin Button Files: Somali Pirate

This is the "teenaged" Somali pirate who police say stole the captain of an American cargo ship earlier this month. He is on trial in New York City and the only survivor left from the band of thieves that tried to get gully on the Maersk Alabama. Yo, this dude is a teenager? His parents claim his 16, U.S. authorities say he's 18. WTF? Do they age backwards in Somalia?. He looks old as hell. Something ain't right. Is it the sun? Or, that pirate steeze? Please explain...because this right here is some Benjamin Button shit!

WB's Cornball Corner: Coolio

Today's "Cornball Corner" is dedicated to the one hit wonder Coolio. Cops arrested the Grammy-winning bama on suspicion of felony narcotics possession Friday at LAX. The "rapper" (yeah right) whose real name is Artis Leon Ivey, Jr., was trying to board a flight when agents discovered that bin Laden in his pocket. He was arrested then released on $10,000 bail. Coolio, 45, (yeah right) most recently appeared on several reality shows including "Celebrity Fear Factor" and the online program, "Cookin with Coolio". Now I know why he was always sprinkling baking soda in every dish! Coolio you're a grown ass man! I'ma need you right here (holding finger/thumb at eye level) How about drinking a 40 ounce of "upgrade"? Lose the three, thin baby braids, the youngin' gear, seek some lotion and Jesus before you end up with DMX, Amy Winehouse and Pookie in the Carter!

Must See TV... In Prison!

When your first sentence starts with “when I was in prison,” it’s all downhill from there. Sneak a peek at Lil Kim prepping for Monday’s Dancing With The Stars premiere.



Anyone else find it ironic this debuts on the anniversary of Biggie’s death? Baby-baby-uh!

Seattle Smackdown

Seattle police are throwing punches like the fishmongers toss salmon at you on Pike Place. A video showing a King County sheriff's deputy beat down a 15-year-old girl like she was Tina (insert Chris Brown joke here) has hit the internetz.

The video of the November 29th beating was released last week, after 31-year-old, 6 ft. 2 in., 195 lb. Deputy Paul Schene, pleaded not guilty to misdemeanor assault. Schene is the third sheriff's deputy since 2006 to face charges on allegations of excessive force in the Seattle area.

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer reports why the girl was in custody in the first place:

The girl was arrested after she was caught in her parents' car, which had been reported stolen from her parents' Tukwila home. Deputy Travis Brunner spotted the car driving without headlights about 3:45 a.m. on 32nd Avenue South in SeaTac and pulled it over.

She and another 15-year-old girl were arrested and taken to SeaTac City Hall to be fingerprinted before being transported to the youth detention center.

The P-I is not naming the girl because she is a minor.

The deputies apparently didn't know until later that the girl, who was in the passenger seat, was related to the car's owner.

As you see in the video, the po-pos commenced to whopping tail after the girl appeared to kick her shoes off, in the direction of the cops. Maybe she was imitating this dude. The cops tossed her to the floor then picked her up by her hair to remove her from the holding cell.

If convicted, Schene faces up to a year behind bars. He’s been on administrative leave since December.

Here’s a news re-cap of the beating.


The county prosecutor says the case goes beyond misconduct. Ya think?

From the WTF Files: Reunited and it feels so???

Too bad I didn't place a bet on this...I wouldn't have needed that Mega Millions ticket. People.com reports that Chris Brown and Rihanna are reunited like Peaches and Herb. The two are spending some QT together at one of Diddy's homes in Miami (that's Chris over there jet skiing his cares away). Why does Diddy have to be at the heart of every controversy? Anyway, Knockout Chris reportedly called Rihanna on her birthday last week and I'm guessing that kicked off the reunion. Still no word yet if Brown will actually be charged for the beat down. So, will Chris lose more fans for the slug fest or will Rihanna for taking him back?

Health: Throwing in the Towel?

File this one under health news of the absurd. An Ohio women lived for 7 years with surgical towel inside her body. When Bonnie Valle died in June 2002 she donated her body to research. During a dissection, a surgical cloth the size of a large hand towel was found behind her left lung. Valle had surgery for emphysema at the Cleveland Clinic back in 1995. She always told family members that she felt something odd in her chest following the procedure, but doctors told her it was normal to feel that way after surgery and the feeling would eventually go away. Anymalpracticesuitway, the feeling never did. She died but doctors argued that it wasn't from the towel but emphysema. The family reached a settlement with the hospital. My Granny always feared hospitals now I see why. WTF? Fawnda freaked out when she read this headline! Now I need a drink, but red wine only, since it's healthier. I'll tackle that topic in my next post.