Witches Brew Ask A Dude Roundtable: Understanding Male Motivation pt. 1

Your favorite Witches hosted a cyber sit down with several of the opinionated (right or wrong) fellas in our cipher and grilled them to the white meat. We're hoping these discussions can start a dialogue (In the comments section please), and foster a greater understanding between the genders. *Witches' Note- We have purposely not rebutted- even though our mouths are bleeding from biting our tongues. Now that you have met our dudes... let's get to it.

Round One- Understanding Male Motivation

Witches' Q: At what age does life become less of a ‘game’ and you get serious about job, relationship and future?

• Reverend Real: First of all, I have to say that this feels like a ghetto version of the Rorschach test. Why not just hold up a spare rib and ask me what it reminds me of?
  
  Anyway, those are three very different arenas that deserve their own answers, but I think all are dependent upon how you were raised. I grew up in a family that didn’t think Child Labor Laws made sense so I was pretty much employed by the time I found a job I could ride my Big Wheel to. During the few times in my life that I have been unemployed or laid off, I always felt like I would walk outside and find rented rims on my car and a Kings Crown incense holder in the back window. I just can’t roll like that.
  
  I think Brothers get serious about relationships once we realize the Voltron approach to creating the perfect Black woman just doesn’t work. We find women that excel in certain areas (personality, cooking, sex, etc.) and divide our time evenly between them as if those women together make some kind of super-Sister robot that can beat the crap out of Megatron. But eventually that gets old and we realize only one woman is really worth our time (and money).
  Seriousness about the future comes soon after that, because ain’t no Sister going to take you seriously (or your hand in marriage, for that matter) if you don’t have a five-year plan for your life. Or at least a car.

• Ask a Gross Dude: Where is the fun in being serious? That's not life... Sounds depressing to be honest. No one has a set age to be serious.. it's just when they get bored with "having fun", become so lazy that coming home to a wife and kids is less taxing than running the streets with various women. That is, until they get bored with that too... then they might regress.

• Big In Europe: Life becomes less of a game, when your "games" effect your real life. Jobs, relationships and your future are all things that you control.Once you are ready to become serious about who you are and where you want to be, that's the time. You don't want to lie to yourself.

• Ask A Cash: I think, for a man, it’s between 28-30. By then, we start thinking about settling down. Don’t want to be the old man in the club, and that’s just around the corner.

• Mr. Crab: I knew it wasn't a game when my brother told me I couldn't call the house for money anymore. I was 20, a sophomore in college, and clearly I needed some assistance so I could get some 'all you can eat' from Mr. Gatti's pizza, or rent a movie from Blockbuster, or get a pint of my favorite weekend libation. I got serious about relationships after I paid a few grand for an engagement ring/wedding band, but I was clearly not ready for marriage. I've never not been serious about work b/c I've been working since I was 10, I've just been serious about keeping my hands soft even though I'm still in the military.

• SUpreme: I grew up differently from many folks, and as such – my female friends who know me best would never classify me as the “typical” male. Thus, life was NEVER a game for me – I’ve been serious about all 3 things since I was a pre-teen. Still had fun, but I was focused on what needed to be focused on.

Witches' Note:

Well, for some men the word 'serious' to seems to be a death sentence. I guess the best we can do as women is to stop trying to force someone to be what you want them to be, because it won't work sister! What do you all think?

**If you have a question you'd like the dude's perspective on, email "ASK A DUDE" at witchesbrewadmin@gmail.com)