What’s Brewing?

Some afternoon linkage for your reading pleasure... don't read and drive though. That's messy...

Soooooo, the iced out Newport chain was a bad idea, huh? – Hip Hop Wired

Jay-Z live @ Coachella [VIDEO] – 2dopeboyz

Kendra Wilkinson drops it low for Too $hort…Hank must be pleased – Rap Radar

Facebook scraps “fans,” opts for “like” button – Huffington Post

Nicki Minaj feels guilty about her lyrics – Miss Info

Kate Hudson has new boobs? – US Magazine

Did you know?: Doing hoodrat-shyt causes earthquakes? – The Frisky

Well, prepare for an aftershock then, cuz Tiger’s jumpoffs are getting a reality show – The Grio

Cheaters: Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon Edition

Jumpoffs are having the best year ever! Add Fancy’s Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon’s husband, Mike, to the list of this year’s cheaters. Garcelle found out her man has been cheating for 5 of their NINE year relationship. And to top it off, she put his arse on blast in an email to his colleagues!

Subject: “Tiger Woods/Jesse James/Mike Nilon”

Text: “What do they have in common . . . I found out today that MY husband of almost 9 yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago. I am devastated!!!! And I have been duped!! Our boys don’t deserve this!” 

Gangsta!

Ladies, would you put a cheating man on blast at his job?

Source

Brew Quotes: Rielle Hunter

“…first of all, infidelity doesn't happen in healthy marriages. The break in the marriage happens before the infidelity. And that break happened, you know, two and a half decades before I got there. So the home was wrecked already. I was not the Home Wrecker."

-Rielle Hunter, former Senator John Edwards’ babymamma, in an interview with GQ.

*Sidebar: are we supposed to take you seriously when your photo spread is sans pants?

*Double sidebar: how does the mistress know the marriage was broken 20 years before she got in the picture? Jumpoffs make me wanna hurl!

*Steps off soapbox*


Photo: Mike Seliger/GQ
Source

Never Put The Jumpoff On The Payroll

Wyclef Jean is learning the Jumpoff Commandments the hard way. Sources are questioning Wyclef’s philanthropic work now that records show he gave his alleged mistress a job in the Yele Haiti organization. The woman in question, Zakiya Khatou-Chevassus, made $105,000 as an independent contractor in 2008 for “program development.”

Sources say she served as Jean’s personal assistant, working on his commercial and philanthropic endeavors. Gawker reports Khatou-Chevassus “did whatever Wyclef needed that day, whether it was related to Yele or not. She would do things like book flights, and she wasn’t very good at it. It’s a shame that she made that much money.” Khatou-Chevassus actually made three times what the actual program director who keeps the organization afloat makes.

One source said “everyone knows they were in a relationship. A dozen people, including me, saw and knew. It wasn’t a secret.” Wyclef and his wife Marie Claudinette Jean have reportedly been in an “open” marriage for some time.

No doubt Wyclef reps hard for Haiti. No one can question that. But I give it a solid “hmmmm” when it looks like the open marriage is spilling over into the money. Money and peen/poon don’t mix.

Source

The 10 Jumpoff Commandments

I was scanning the internetz this weekend when I came across this gem from Tazz Daddy's blog.  He calls it the "10 Jumpoff Commandments."  These were written in response to all of the celebs (read: atheletes) who've gotten themselves in trouble because they followed their peens instead of better judgement. 

1. Thou Shalt NOT marry until retirement

While some may not agree with this, if there’s no marriage, there’s nothing a Jumpoff can hang over your head. No Blackmail, no press conferences, no cut and bleached clothing, and most importantly, no GIVING UP 1/2 of EVERYTHING YOU WORKED FOR! Moreover, if the Jumpoff does video tape you or go to the press, people will cheer you as a hero and file her in the Jumpoff category

2. Thou Shalt Wear Condoms at ALL TIMES

I shouldn’t have to say this, but too many dudes in the industry wind up with unnecessarySTD’s, Paternity suits and (in some cases) subsequent Baby Mama Drama if you would use a flipping condom. You would think you’d learn something from people like Magic Johnson, Easy-E and 50 Cent. Death and Paying ridiculous sums of money are not worth a quick nut.

3. Thou Shalt Deal with Age Appropriate Jumpoffs

Don’t think that banging a young Jumpoff is not a big deal? Ask R. Kelly. He banged a 14 year old and pissed on her on tape and…. Nothing Happened. Okay. Bad Example. Look at Former President Clinton’s run-in with Monica Lewinsky and the nonsense that David Letterman is going through from banging interns. You can’t go through one news cycle without hearing about it. Yes, all of these people are still mega-rich but YOU’RE NOT THEM, so deal with women who are mature enough to play their position.

4. Thou Shalt Not Put a Jumpoff Before Your Money!

I know that some of these Jumpoffs are so good in the sack that you want to revisit them and that’s okay. You can’t allow them to get into your head and have your nose open where you’re shirking your responsibilities. Trust me, the Jumpoff will always be there as long as your career is popping.

5. Thou Shalt Not Sleep with Superhead

Two Books, countless videos and TV appearances where she dogs out your peers, but for some reason you still want to mess around with this crazy broad?!? WTF? Do you not remember what she did to Eddie Winslow? (Yes I know his real name but no one cares) Superhead said he left his “Butt Beads” at her house and what does he do? He MARRIES HER! Which brings me to Number 6

Taste The Brew to read the rest.

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