Mother of the Year?

A 6 year old was forced to play a game of real-life bumper cars after her mother go too high to drive!

The girl says her mother was smoking "that stinky stuff," when she asked the child to take the wheel.

A police officer in Coatesville, PA saw the girl driving the Dodge Durango. The mother was in the passenger seat with a case of the giggles when police stopped the car. She claimed she was teaching the little girl to drive.

Here's the rest of the story...

The mother is charged with child endangerment, corruption of a minor and reckless endangerment.

Jesus, take the wheel!

Oh, Dios mío, no puedo tomarlo!!!!! (yeah we kick it bi-lingual like that at the Brew)

Um Ma'am....Plumber's Crack and Jesus Do Not Mix!!!!!!!!

1. Inkin for Christ???? how you gonna ink a bible scripture near the crack of yo ass Miss!!! HOW????

2. Excuse me??? what is the point of a thesis on the small of your back? you think it's okay cause it's biblical in nature?????

3. IS YOU SERIOUS?????!!!!

I quit this bitch!

The Frankie Files: Frankie Talks Paparazzi, Trying to Beat Chilli Down and Marrying Lamond...

Goodness gracious! what is wrong with the world when Frankie and not me is complaining about the Paparazzi on her ass!!!! Do you need to abuse crack and birth liters of babies to get your own personal paparazzi!? I'm pissed! Anyhoo so she sits down with Ryan Cameron to discuss her failed attempt at physically assaulting Chilli. Go here to Freddyo.com. Apparently she approached Chilli at a function on some 'swinfan' ish and Chilli did not give Frankfurter the reception she felt she deserved.

Frankfurter then went in full "Gator (mama Imma steal your tv for a fix), Jungle Fever" mode on her and tried to attack.



Oh and yeah.... she and Lamond are still getting married..... I wonder who I can contact to take the wheel since clearly Jesus is busy or simply ignoring me *sigh*

The "Jesus Take The Wheel" Files: Lil Kim Sings!

*Deep deep sigh* Lil Kimberly Jones continues to give me angina She and Cyndi Lauper are somehow BFF's and somehow decided it would be a good idea to team up and sing/perform together at Nelson Mandela's b-day concert in NY. Has Nelson not been through enough? What the hell did he ever do to these 2 broads to deserve this kinda punishment???



Did they come up with this gem on their own while perusing the beauty supply store for their performance hair? 'Thinking and weaving' is never ever a good idea, almost as bad as 'driving while soul food grubbin'. Oy vey!

The "Jesus Take The Wheel" Files: Mackin hoes on my bandwidth....

Ok, all jokes aside, seriously Jesus....... you must take the wheel already!

Ya know, I really wanna know what is it about my computer that makes mafuggas always wanna check their shit at my house. So some nights ago I had a visitor......or a gentleman caller let's say and were sitting down talking, chattin, spittin that boy/girl ying yang back and forth and out the corner of my eye I see him eyein my laptop like it's a cheeseburger (and yes it's not your imagination, I correlate everything with food) and then he drops the bomb, "hey can I use your computer real quick?" I say "sure, knock yourself out" (cause that's the kinda black Nubian queen I am). So he uses it, checks whatever it is he's checking and that's the end of it or so I thought anyway. Well this morning after my shit, shower and shave (ok well I didn't have to shit nor did I shave) I make myself a little pre-work snack (not to be confused with the 'at-work' snack) and log on my computer and low and behold ole boy never logged out of his email account. Now I have to preface this by stating I am not a 'nosy, go lookin for shit I already know the answer to' type of lady, to me snooping is for losers and dummies, however if shit drops in my lap....... well you know the rest.

So I read a couple of his emails and all the lines are the same, I mean dude has no creativity in the game he's spittin to us. Were all absolutely gorgeous, all of our bodies are outta control, he has an amazing/unusual connection with all of us, yadda yadda yadda. I'm not mad at him for keeping his tales and compliments consistent so as to not confuse matters, he's single so mingle I suppose, but what I am mad at is him not having the presence of mind to log out!!!! or better yet, CHECK YOUR FOCKIN EMAIL WHEN YOU GET HOME YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS AHOLE!!!!

Exactly where do men with even a little sense reside? In Idaho perhaps?

What's the real estate market lookin like in ole potato land? I do make a kick ass potato salad........

The "Jesus Take The Wheel" Files: Punks and Computers......

Ok so peep this gem I got from some lil young punk:

whats up lil ma i was just browsin through and your pic caught my eye and to let u no u lookin good lil ma a lil bout me im brown skinned 5'6 braids bo leggs and muscles im also coo laid bac nice smart good sense of humor and likes to have fun coo to be around good head on shoulders so if u like what u heard then holla bac at ya boi holla one luv and peace out o yea the pics will be on soon u lookin good to be 38

Lil ma??? Lil fuckin ma? I'm the biggest bitch this side of DC! and this young fucker is calling me Lil ma???????

"I'm 5'6 braids bo legs and muscles" - Oh yummy , I just creamed myself reading that, you sound like a strapping lad just waiting for me to mount you! Oh sweet Jesus and then you have muscles?!! I don't think I could even dream up a better body on a man, short with braids and muscles, jackpot! I need to play lotto today

He's also coo laid back, fun and coo to be around. For shits and giggles let's assume coo is kin to cool and call that one a day.

"If I like what I heard" - liked it???? I LOVED IT! How often does a 5'8ish, sturdy woman like myself get the opportunity to possibly meet a man 5'6 with braids and muscles, sheeeiiittt I'd be a damn fool not to snatch you up.

"U lookiin good to be 38" - that's right my young, dumb friend, always end it with a crescendo! "old biddy I sho would love to stick my under aged penis in your elderly puss" woulda sufficed though.

WOWZA!!! Jesus take the wheel already man!!!