Protect Your Penis Texasesss

A new iPhone app has your future political career in mind.  It's called "Safe Sexting" and it allows you to send pics of your nether regions and other bits, but covers up the nasty parts... so those pics don't come back to haunt you when you're....sayyyyyy, about to star in a Disney movie or run for mayor of Detroit or sumthin'.

Apparently the folks at Apple think sexting is so serious that they needed to approve this app. Actually, some 30% of 17 year olds say they've received a sext (nasty asses). 15% of all teenagers have gotten a sex text.

So, here's how Safe Sexting works...

1. Download the app.
2. Open the app and you'll see 4 options to censor your pic.
3. Select from the Small Box, Large Box, Head Box and a semi-transparent Red Silk. 

4.     Take picture.

5.     Send the picture.

Easy enough, right?

And if all else fails, there's actually a friggin' sexting PSA to help you clueless kids out.

But, seriously, if you can't see the peen, what's the point? You've already been imagining what the thing looks like anyway.

Block Kids From Texting While Driving

A new service allows parents to put the brakes on their kids' texting while driving habit. It's called TXTBlocker and it allows parents (and employers) to disable texting functions, block numbers and permit calls that are on a preset safe list.

To set it up, go to the TXTBlocker site, log on and choose the settings to block the phone. It's supposed to work automatically, so users don't have to remember to turn it on and off. It's not clear if the phone detects when you're going at higher speeds though. Otherwise, how would it know when you're behind the wheel? Will it crap out if you're on a bus? The jury's out on that.

The service costs $9.99/month plus a one-time activation fee of $24.99.

Sounds like some big brother isht to me. But whatever keeps the kid safe, I guess?

Tech Talk: Text With Your Voice

States are cracking down on cell phone use while driving. In Maryland, texting while driving becomes illegal tomorrow. If your lifestyle is too fast-paced to simply focus on driving while you drive, then check out Vlingo.

Vlingo is a voice-activated service that allows mobile users to press a button and simply talk their text messages, Google searches and even Facebook status updates. It works really well and, over time, the system even learns your voice. Vlingo works on Windows Mobile phones, iPhones, Blackberries and Nokia phones. Basic use is free but if you want to upgrade to sending texts and e-mail, you will have to pay for the app. It beats getting bailed out or getting a ticket though!



If paying for an app isn't your thing, then check out DriveSafe.ly. It's a free app that reads your emails and texts in real time.

Or you could just put your hands on the wheel and actually drive!

Kanye And The Tush?

Word on the curb is Kanye West may be at the center of the Reggie Bush/Kim Kardashian break up. We told you Monday the couple were on the rocks because of hectic work schedules that kept them apart. Well now it seems a certain Chi-town rapper may have played a bigger role. Reggie reportedly saw texases in Kim's phone from a certain Mr. West and he went all apeshit. The texts referred to a night Kanye & Kim hung out and how hot Kim is. Word is the texts got racier and Reggie went o-f-f.

So, Kanye, does this mean you're done with Amber? We love her around these parts (in a totally non-sexual, non-lesbionic way, I mean). Oh, and we'd take Reggie too!

I'm just sayin'…

Divorce Texases

A Saudi man dumped his wife by text message. Is that better than getting the boot from a Post It? Classy, eh?

The man was in Iraq when he took a break from his jihad antics to send the texases notifying the wife that she was no longer his wife. Then he called two of his relatives. So, let’s get this straight: they are worthy of a call and not the wife? Damn shame how women get treated.

This is believed to be the first known divorce by text in Saudi Arabia. Under Saudi law, a man can divorce his wife by saying “I divorce you” three times. A court finalized the deal after contacting the two relatives who’d been notified of the split by phone.

Now that is some gangsta shizz.

Text My Nuts!!!

"I love you", Will you marry me?", "Can we do that thing we did with those beads and my booty again tonight?", "can you give my mama a lung?". What do all these questions/statements have in common???

THEY ARE ALL BEING ASKED/SAID VIA TEXT MESSAGE!!!!!!

What gives??? Is advanced technology killing romance? I remember when I was younger I used to love getting hand written letters, from friends and boys. It was just something so exciting about opening up an envelope and reading. I used to love the excitement of knowing a guy I really liked was gonna call me and looked forward to talking to him knowing we would end the convo with "no you hang up first, no you, no you, ok ok, same time...." ahhhhh, those were the days. Today no such scenario would ever exist. Mofos wanna text you to forkin death. Now I'm not saying I'm against text messages, they can be fun, useful and oftentimes necessary but they should not be used to iron out the intricacies of why your relationshio isn't working. What happened to breaking up in person? And I tell you another thing, if one more man who knows me personally ask me to send him a pic I'm gonna lose my shit! FOR WHAT???!!! you know me you assbesol! I'm not big on providing dudes with jack off material , I think not!

I wish texting (or texases as my friend would say) weren't used so much. It's a lame man's dream tool and I hate it!