Oompa-Loompa Game, Proper

76 year old fashion divo Valentino Garavani hung up his scissors and is now enjoying the fruits of his long fashion career with a new documentary and by attending various red carpet events around town.

The man has villas and ski chalets around the world, but what he clearly does not have is a bottle of that Jergens Natural Glow that gives you little doses of tan each day. Someone FedEx this dude a bottle of that fake bake, STAT! I love this man but I cannot handle his orange face. This will haunt me for years to come.

Now, don't get me wrong, the Jem has been known to rub on some color in the dead of winter. I even have one of those color spray guns in the closet to battle emergency paleness. Hey, I like to get my glow on. Don't judge! But this is just awful.

Poor Anne Hathaway needs an Oscar for standing next to him and smiling. That's some Meryl Streep type acting right thurr.


And to make matters worse, the damn tan rubs off! Last year, when he hugged SATC star Sarah Jessica Parker, THE TAN RUBBED OFF ON HER EAR! Now that is just naaaasty!