Things Negroes Like: Easter Edition

It’s Tuesday folks and you know what that means: time for the Things Negroes Like. But this week, I’ve been inspired by the rebirth and rejuvenation that the holy time of Easter ushers in. Now, a couple weeks ago I talked greasy about white Jesus. I’m not going to do that again! (*says Hail Mary & an Our Father*)

But, I will crack on you Negroes and how you interpret Easter.

Run it…

6 hours in the hair salon

The outcome usually involves some form of ringlets, Shirley Temple curls and an up-do (occasionally, all of the aforementioned ‘dos appear atop the same head)

Easter/Christmas Christians

Now, I don’t judge the relationship you have with the Resurrected Jesus. But I will talk about those of you who only peek a head in a church for Easter and Christmas, with an occasional wedding and a funeral on the side. God will be having a talk with you.

New suits

A necessity to impress the other Easter/Christmas Christians who you’ll only see twice a year, so who cares if your suit is brand new?

Pastel colors

See above (this is a staple of the Negro Easter experience)

Easter dinner

But you know you don't really like your family all that much!

Hot cross buns

Easter ain’t Easter if you don’t O.D. on a few of these jokers. My Grandmother would let me eat them well before the holiday. She loved me!

Cadbury bunnies

Negroes get real pissed off and lose the Easter spirit when the bunny is hollow. Send me a solid rabbit dammit! And you can keep the dyed eggs and the marshmallow Peeps!

‘Til next week… Happy Easter!