Teen Takes “Stop Snitching” To His Deathbed

In are you forking kidding me news…

17 year old Robert Tate took the hood credo “stop snitching” to his grave. The teen was shot in the chest as someone approached him on a Chicago sidewalk earlier this month. As he lay dying, police asked him “do you know who shot you?” Tate’s response, “I know, but I ain’t telling you sh!t.”

Really?

Seriously?

Has it come to this, that we’d rather die than point a finger at someone who’s done the ultimate wrong?

Tate's mother doesn’t buy the cop’s story. Cynthia Washington describes her son as a "very respectful child" and doesn’t believe he’d withhold that information.

One cop said he knows that “stop snitching” has become the matra for the streets, but he says he’s never seen anyone take it to the grave like this.

Damn.

Source

Dates from Hell: DooDoo Brown Edition

Went to dude's house to chill (we've been talking for like months) he was well-established, career-wise. His apartment looked like a house for squatters. I needed to use the bathroom but the bathroom looked like it should have been housed in a gas station, the toilet looked like it had never had water in it. The once white porcelain bowl had been disrespectfully turned brown PERMANENTLY!

I walked to his room because well, he had no couch. His bed was not made and had bills and envelopes all over it. Sat on the bed to see pieces of hard rice, I assume from his previous dinners, and little black pellets which could have been burnt rice or worse, mouse droppings.

Yum.

I sat on the edge of the bed- scared to sit and scared to stand. We began to watch a movie and he started to snore 5 minutes in. He apologized profusely and sat up and actually got on his cellphone because 1 of his clients called him. While on the phone, his bedroom light blew out.

He put his client on hold and said "yo L go get a lightbulb out my linen closet in the hallway." My response, "AYO! I ain't doing anything!" He got pissed said he was too comfortable to get up and I wasn't a team player.

Few minutes later, he is off the phone telling me how much he likes me then he rubs his stomach, guess he got a case of the bubble guts. Son proceeds to get up and go to the bathroom, after he was gone for about 5 minutes...the most pungent odor trailed down the hall to where I was sitting. Pepe Le Pew would have passed out.

I began to get queasy and grab my things. He came out of the bathroom as he heard my heels tip toe down the hall (Ed. note: Did he wipe and flush? ew). When I told him I was leaving he became very confrontational and called me a stuck up brat and wannabe princess. He threw money at me for a cab and slammed the door right behind me.

Yea, it was midnight in the middle of an apartment complex in the South Bronx. I could have been mugged, raped or even murdered, but at that moment I rather had all of the above happen than see dude again.

Princess in El Bronx

BEWARE: Phone Sex With Me Will Make You Gay....

Yes I think I have a nice voice, not sure of the precise reason why it’s nice but I’ve been told a time or two that I do have a nice speaking voice. Even at work , every so often I’ll get a call from strangers who point out that they know it’s unprofessional but still feel compelled to tell me they think I have a great voice. Ok, so we’ve established that it is likely that I do, in fact, have a nice voice, but nice enough to make a straight man gay??? Hmmmm….

Well yes! So says a young lad I once knew. He was just the cutest! Nice face, nice body, nice smile…. just yummy. So as our relationship progresses and we begin to talk more, our phone conversations start leaning towards the sexy side (yes, phone sex) Now I’m not sure about anyone else who has ever indulged in phone sex but I never actually do the things I say I’m doing, I’m usually eating a snack but I have an unusual gift you see. I personally think phone sex is wack and corny and well a waste of the time that could actually be spent getting it on fa real fa real, you feel me??? But he was cute, so sue me, I indulged him!

But as with most things in my life , shit took a quick turn for the worst. As I’m going through my sex talk theatrics with this lad, he starts mumbling something about a dude, but remember I’m multitasking (moaning and eating a rib, brilliant on my part sense ribs really do make me moan) so I’m not really paying much attention til he says “yeah girl , so you wouldn’t mind? You wouldn’t mind me giving a another dude a bj?” WTF!!!!

HOLD EVERYTHING YOU FORKER!!!!!


So I quickly shake off my rib induced high and repeat what I think I just heard just to make sure he said what I think he said and his response was: “I mean I don’t know what it is, your voice is just so sexy, I mean damn, you just make me say the craziest things” HUNH???? No kneegrow! You said you wanted to suck another mans joystick, my voice did that? Really? My voice made you gay????

Needless to say he stuck to that ridiculous story and our love was therefore not meant to be. So to the ladies with the butta creamy, velvety smooth voices out there, be careful, you might make your man gay….

Straight from the "WTF!" files..... Man Girdles!

Ok now as a sturdy girl myself, one would think I was an advocate for foundation garments such as girdles and the like but not so! I HATE THEM!!! Everyone who knows me knows you'd have a helluva easier time getting me to go commando before I'd be caught dead in a compression undergarment so imagine my surprise when this site that features "man girdles" was bought to my attention.

ARE YOU FORKIN KIDDING ME??!!!

Well no, unfortuantely this is no joke, enter Mengirldes.com and they got man corsets out the ass for dat ass!!! I mean seriously? Are men really buying these things like hotcakes? like seriously?

All I imagne is meeting that hottie at happy hour and him accidentally ending up at your house that same night. After some steamy heavy petting you start feeling around to get a sense of things and them bam! you feel what you are 100% certain is a garment made of playtex material , MUTHAEFFIN PLAYTEX!!! when should there ever be a time when you are getting felt up and trying to return the favor and get cock blocked by a man girldle?! I ususally like my mens in fairly decent shape but I say to hell with it, if you're a big boy let your shat hang and swang before you ever let yourself get caught dead in a girdle.

And is it me or does it seem that the man girdle is also compressing the main vein there? oy vey!!

ARE YOU FORKIN KIDDING ME??? THE STANKY LEG?!

DO THE STANKY LEG????!!!! Ok I’ll go on record and say I’m not up on all that is new and poppin with the kiddies but the Stanky Leg????? What’s next?? “Do the Rancid Poontang”???? I feel sorry for the children of today for they know nothing of good old-fashioned, soul soothing hippity-hop. Ugh!

Remember Marley Marl, The Symphony????



When hip hop was fun and didn't require you to have an ass the size of Staten Island in order to bust a move or learn intricate dance moves like this Stank Ass Leg shit..... those were the days.

Wrap It Up

This New York Times headline says it all: With Nine Mouths to Feed, Travis Henry Says He’s Broke

Former NFL running back Travis Henry has NINE kids by NINE women. Yes, let me say it again: NINE by NINE! The brood range in age from 3 to 11. Henry's child support is estimated at $170,000 a year! And this dude is only 30. To top it off, Henry is now under house arrest for cocaine trafficking. But that's another story.

Henry says many of the women claimed to be using birth control so he stopped using condoms and let his willy roam free. Then, oops, they turned up pregnant. This cat must have that kryptonite sperm.

When asked why he kept repeating the same stupid behavior, here's Free Willy's response:

“Knock on wood, or something, I’m blessed not to have AIDS. That never crossed my mind.”

Lawdamercy. I can't take it.

Henry is currently engaged...but he and the fiancée have no plans of procreating. Thank God!

The lesson for today: condoms will always be in fashion.
Please wrap your shit up!

(Photo by: David Duprey/Associated Press)

Feeling Yeasty?

Here are a couple snaps of Kanye's new purse carrier, Amber Rose, in Paris for Fashion Week events. Kanye and his team upgraded this former stripper's fashion game overnight, literally. And I'll hand it to her...this girl's body is sick!  But does everything she wears have spandex, Lycra and unnatural fabrics in it?  Just wondering...

Is this a case of fab fashion or a fashion tragedy?  What's your call?

Male exotic dancers should be shot in the head!!

And dude above is the reason why. This is an oldie but damn sure a goodie! My soror was insistent that she wanted a stripper at her bachelorette party and this is what showed up He was wiggity wiggity wack! I mean are'nt they supposed to make you a little moist? Let's just say my underoos were completely dry, I wanted to stab him! And shouldn't he supply some kinda eye candy??? Has this dude ever seen the inside of a gym?

I HATE YOU FOCKERS! GO TO SCHOOL AND GET A REAL JOB.......