As Seen On TV

Have we gotten so fat and lazy as a country that we can’t even wipe our own asses? Check out this infomercial that’s trolling around the internet.




The Comfort Wipe lets you wipe your rear with, I guess, comfort. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been uncomfortable wiping mine. It’s sorta, a fact of life. You poop, you wipe. And if you’re Terrence Howard, you poop then baby wipe.

If you buy this marvel of patenting, you get a bonus deal, something called a “Get A Grip.” Wow! Do a Shamwow and a Snuggie come with it?

Now, I understand if you’re infirmed and you need some help reaching back there. But come on, you know as well as I, that some lazy mofo is ordering this in 3…2… because reaching around to his ass makes him sweat like Whitney Houston.

Here’s my question, what happens if you shart and you get some of the sticky green on the pole? You know there was always a little poop that could wind up on your hand.

I’m just sayin’…