301 moved permanently

2009 was a year of firsts (first Black president and first Brew post… hey, we’re shameless pluggers around these parts), a year of come-ups and falls from grace. And, sadly, a year of untimely deaths.

As 2009 comes to a close, let’s take a look back…

Falls From Grace

· Chris Brown: beating up Rihanna then complaining on Twitter that no one wants to sell your new album qualifies you for King of the Cornball Corner.

· Tiger Woods: you could have cheated with the Queen of Zamunda. Instead, you pick the bar maids. WTF?

· Joe Wilson: who shouts at the President? But “You Lie!” does have a certain ring to it…especially when you’re in a work meeting. #justsayin

· Plaxico Burress: serving jail time for shooting yourself? I think Plaxico translates to “what a dumass” in Swahili.

· Kanye West: he stole little Taylor’s moment then went AWOL. But I think everything this man does is part of an elaborate plan so his “fall” really isn’t much of a fall at all. Stay tuned…

Deaths

· Michael Jackson

· Walter Cronkite

· Patrick Swayze

· Naomi Sims

· Farrah Fawcett

· Ed McMahon

· Percy Sutton

· Alaina Reed Hall Amini

· Sen. Ted Kennedy

· Steve McNair

· Mr. Magic

· DJ AM

· Chris Henry

· Wayman Tisdale

· Natasha Richardson

· E. Lynn Harris

· Billy Mays

Come Ups

· Barack Obama: well duuuuh… he “came on up” all the way to the White House and the Nobel Peace Prize.

· Mo’Nique: okay, so she has a volume problem and doesn’t realize she shouldn’t yell when she’s wearing a microphone. But, her performance in Precious was one of the best acting jobs of the year. “Precious…take yo azz to da wellfayah!” Classic.

· Taylor Swift: country music fans knew who she was… the rest of us probably didn’t, until Kanye West happened.

· Lil Mama: who knew (or cared) who the little man was before she jumped on stage with Jay-Z and Alicia Keys at the VMAs?

· Kim Zolciak’s wig (it’s still a hair hat, but she’s trying. I guess.)

Old New

· Susan Boyle: 48 year old Scottish singer who’s “never been kissed” sticks it to these young non-pants wearing “singers” to the tune of 3 million units…and counting.

· Jump-offs (see Tiger Woods)

· Sonia Sotomayor: first Latina Supreme Court Justice makes more waves on the high court in four months than Clarence Thomas has done in 18 years.

· Twitter: a social watering hole that allows “celebs” to amass a following and think they’re more important than they are. Sadly, more news seems to be broken via Twitter than the real “news” these days. (Oh, and follow us @lawitchesbrew if you aren’t already… another shameless plug)

· The Kardashians: we have a blog ban on these chicks. But you can’t deny, these broads were everywhere in ’09.

· Glee: the FOX show made it hip to sing show tunes.

· Whitney Houston: the voice is still a wee bit shaky, but she’s back and at least she’s trying. After all, she could look like this still…